HNT - teasing me

My Sir loves me and he loves to tease me....with a package like that. He has just what it takes to get my motor running.

Thank you, Sir.



don't forget to stop by osbasso's and see all the rest of the HNT goodness!

Sir Sunday - Back to the west

Sir Sunday

Back to the West……..

Ranting, raving, and musing from “my soapbox in the corner of the internet”

As any of you have read the blog lately, you no doubt have noticed the countdown ticker in the top left. Yes, it is time for me to go and visit HBD again! We promise to take pictures and blog about our deviantly fun times.

So with the tickets bought and schedules arranged the discussion has moved to the actual trip. We are discussing our goals for the trip, our needs, and our desires, all to fit in our limited time together. HBD wants to claim her bragging rights again, and who am I to stop that, it is a great start to a visit. We have both expressed in very graphic terms described the more animal desires. Then there is the rope….. HBD is really in for it this time I am feeling a lot more comfortable in tying her up after recapping the first time in Denver and my looking around for more shibari knots to use with her. There are the Showers and snuggling But we have also discussed a few more vanilla pursuits, like an evening out, catching a movie, more mundane everyday life things.

These things are part of the reason I love HBD, we communicate and fit well together, her desires are met and she meets and exceeds my desires on a regular basis.
I am sure this trip will be nothing short of epic, and the stuff blog posts are made of.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and we will be reporting back around the end of October with our exploits.

I love you Babydoll and cannot wait until we are together again, Loving, Touching, Squeezing……each other….. (Sorry to any Journey fans out there).

~DT

HNT woo hooo again

You have to understand that I live in an old old old house that does NOT have a bathtub, only a shower stall. This is quite a disappointment to me as I love a long soak in the tub to relax.

So, you can imagine just how much I enjoyed taking a very long hot bath the last time I spent the night in my mother's summer house. Can't wait to do it again!!



don't forget to stop by osbasso's and see all the rest of the HNT goodness!

as directed....

Last night I was feeling very empty and broken. Just a shell of myself, emotionally exhausted by the roller coaster I call my life and physically worn out by the work I've been doing.

Right now my communication time with DT has been limited by my FX, discretion is his buzz word so he asks that I don't talk to DT when the kids are up or around. Which sounds reasonable right? Until you realize that he keeps the phone tied up himself after the girls are out for the night, or while I'm in the car and away from them, further cutting into my time with DT. But I digress...

Last night...I was so tired that DT sent me to bed early. It hurt me to hang up, to shut down and go to sleep. In essence, I was taking away my time with him myself. And it bothered me. Knowing this to be true DT put on his Dom cap and sent me to bed with instructions to sleep well, dream of him, and to come back this morning and write about one of those dreamed of moments when we are together and things are good.


So, here goes.

The moment was quiet, peaceful, loving...

The sun was coming in the windows of a bedroom I've never seen before, the bed was HUGE piled high with pillows and warm down blankets. And burrowed deep in its depths was DT, and me. Curled up around each other, talking about our lives, how we got to this place. Where we wanted to go from there, and just enjoying the feeling of being together.

We kissed and cuddled, talked and laughed. It was comfortable, easy, and so very very right.

Its flashes and images like this that pull me through the days, toward my goal. Thank you, Sir, for making me look at them more closely when I needed it most.

The Demons you don't know

I keep looking at my current situation, its a train wreck.

I love Die_tryin, with all my heart, but what it is he sees in me I'll never know. I don't really want to know either, those things those mysteries are his to keep. They make me love myself, simply out of respect for his love for me. Is that odd? Does that mean I'm too dependent on him?

Moreover, how did I get to be like this? How is it that I have allowed myself to become so weak that anyone who comes along can see that flaw and beat me into submission (and not the submission I crave). Looking at my FX and my EX I see that they both have beaten and abused me, mentally, emotionally, and yes to a point physically. I have crawled into a shell and retreated from the woman I should be. What about me has made this possible? Was it just a bad choice in men? Or is it a deep-seated flaw in my personality that makes me the eternal victim. I feel weak, broken, and substandard.

How will I move on? Divorce is in my future, not because of DT, but because I need to salvage what little is left of me. DT is a wonderful man, who loves me, and who I love completely. What happens between us is separate from me leaving my FX. But how do I find the strength and security I need to leave the one place I know, the one place where everything is predictable. How do I walk away from that into a world I don't know, one that is full of change and unknown demons? Sometimes the demons you know are worse than the ones you don't.


I'm scared, that I'm not ready..........that I can't do this.

Sir Sunday- Back on my "Soap Box"

Sir Sunday


Rants and ravings from my soapbox in the corner of the internet.


I know it has been a while since I have been up here on my soapbox, it has been too long. But as you all know there has been a lot of life-changing events in both my and HBD’s lives. There is no need to recap them all, but it had taken both HBD's and my desire to write for a bit and due to security concerns we have been forced underground and private for now. But now we are slowly coming back to the blog and our e-friends.
I had a different topic in mind when I sat down to write this post but like is usually the case I seem to have abandoned the original topic for whatever seems to come pouring out of my brain.

These last 4 or so weeks have been complete and utter hell for HBD and me, between her FX being home for 3 weekends in a row and his unpredictable moods, (which I swear he is on drugs) and my FX and her incessant crying and whining about how bad her life is. Her FX has taken to calling me on the phone and trying to “get to know the man that makes his wife happy”.(wtf) A lame attempt at trying to control the situation, as we are trying to convince him that we are working on a “poly” relationship, this is just to try and keep him calm and HBD safe. He is constantly flip-flopping back and forth about making it work to calling me and texting me to tell me HBD is all mine and he hopes we are happy. (How many times does he have to do that before I can say “dude are you serious this time?”) This has to stop eventually …right?

Well, I know this is a short recap and gripe fest, but I have to start somewhere to get back on the blogging track and this seemed like as good a place as any.




Now I would like to put a couple of Poems I recently wrote for HBD here, for her and your reading pleasure.



With you...

When I'm with you,
Eternity is a step away,
My love continues to grow,
With each passing day.

This treasure of love,
I cherish within my soul,
How much I love you...
You’ll never really know.

You bring joy to my heart,
I've never felt before,
With each touch of your hand,
I love you more and more.

Whenever we say goodbye,
Whenever we part,
Know I hold you dearly,
Deep inside my heart.

So these seven words,
I pray you hold true,
"Forever and Always,
I Will Love You."


Need you

I love you more than all the stars in the sky.
I love you more as each moment passes us by.
I love you more with every breath I take.
I love you more with each promise we make.

I need you like a flower needs the rain.
I need you for you can wash away my pain.
I need you more each day
I need you for you are so wonderful, in every single way.

I miss you more than ever now.
I miss you because I really need you somehow.
I miss you and your touch.
I miss you for to me, you mean so much.

I want you to caress my lips the way you always do.
I want you to look into my eyes and see my love for you.
I want you to hold me close to your heart.
I want you to know that I love you, need you, miss you and want you
And I have for every single moment, right from the start.


Thank you for taking the time to read my post from my soapbox in this corner of the internet.
HBD you know I love you, I NEED you, and desire only you, you are my one and only for the rest of my life, you are truly my better half.
~DT

STOP the planet I wanna get off.

And not in a good way either!

I'm so tired, physically and emotionally. This roller coaster I call life has turned into a nightmare, one I'm afraid will never end, or if it does it will end badly. I don't know how I ever thought it would end well....easy you might say. It won't.

The days are filled with a plethora of changing emotions, thoughts, outbursts...personalities all wrapped up in the body of my FX. I can never tell what personality will come out next. Will it be the kind caring man that wants to make a Poly relationship work? Will it be the vile hateful man that only wants to cut me with his words? Will it be the jealous angry man that is so very unpredictable who only wants to crush me, break me, and? Or, will it be the crying confused man that only wants to play guilt trips and word games to try and destroy me? Who will it be?

So far, all day he has been the kind caring man. But what will I find the next time I answer the phone?

His touch....HNT

Right now, all I can think about is his touch. The way his hand feels brushing against my skin. The gentle way he has of caressing me while I sleep, Does he even realize that he does it? His fingers brush against my body and it soothes me. And I sleep, better than I ever have before.

Then there is the urgent touch of his fingers on my nipples, as they tease and torment my body, slipping to play with my clit, its this touch that bends me, breaks me, and gives me life. I want him, I need him...and with this touch, the hunger in me burns hot and urgent.

Its the way his arms wrap around me, protecting me from all that is dark in the world. The past that haunts me, the future that terrifies me. They all slip away and they leave me only peace. Nothing can harm me enveloped in his arms, his strong chest holding me up, his heart beating against my cheek as I sleep.

Countered by the sting of his hand as it falls against my ass repetitively, bringing me to newer heights of pleasure. There is a soothing sense of calm that comes over me as it falls again, and again against my tender flesh. Heated and red, the sting stays with me when he is finished.

But it's his kiss that I miss the most, soft, tender, loving, hungry, needy, tasting me, drawing me into him....there are millions of feelings, and unlimited emotions wrapped up in those seemingly simple touches.

There is nothing simple about all the ways we touch. There is nothing simple about him, or me, but there is one pure and simple thing that is us....and that is our love.

Thank you, Sir,






and now......don't forget to stop by osbasso's and see all the rest of the HNT goodness!

all the drama...

I know my blog posts have been few and far between recently. There are several reasons, my job of course, and then there is the drama of my future ex (FX). Added to that there is the stress that DT has been going through by moving his family halfway across the country.

Just an update that things in my camp have gone from bad to worse. My husband knows about DT and I being in love, for now, we are telling him that we are all pursuing a poly life. So, much of my venting and ranting in the next few weeks will be all about trying to work through his issues at being poly. I have to do something or he will cut off my communication with DT and that is something that neither of us could stand.

For now, things are this way...DT and I are working to get him to Denver, where we can get him settled and then move me and my girls out to him once I'm out of my situation. Let's just pray this all falls together soon for all of our sake.