don't forget to stop by osbasso's and see all the rest of the HNT goodness!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
HNT - rope anyone?
I used to think I liked Chain, cold and hard. But then I found rope with DT and let me tell you I'm still drawn to chain but rope is my new love. Here is a shot from our last visit when I flew to New Jersey.
don't forget to stop by osbasso's and see all the rest of the HNT goodness!
don't forget to stop by osbasso's and see all the rest of the HNT goodness!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Its time to get back into the blogging world
Its been far too long since I posted in the blogging world. DT and I have had a rough go of it recently, including some fantastic times after our visit in Denver, he flew here to see me, yes a bit close to home but it was amazing. And then I spent an amazing 13 days with him over Thanksgiving.
But now...now things are bad, I'm not sure what to do or if we can make it through this. We'll see how it goes.
So, welcome back to our corner...drop us a note if you would. We'd love to hear from you, oh and expect an HNT or two to start popping up from our visits!!
- HBD
But now...now things are bad, I'm not sure what to do or if we can make it through this. We'll see how it goes.
So, welcome back to our corner...drop us a note if you would. We'd love to hear from you, oh and expect an HNT or two to start popping up from our visits!!
- HBD
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
10 days.....
Friday morning I got up at the crack of dawn...ok several hours before dawn actually. I got up, loaded myself into the car and headed for the airport where I managed to find my way through security and to the gate.
Seat assignment? center. UGH no thanks, what can I do. hmmm, they have one seat open on the isle, but its a bulkhead seat. Oh hell, I have small luggage lets go for it! I took the seat and I tell you it was the best I could have asked for. The bulkhead wall ended just before my seat, so it was almost like sitting in first class, I could stretch my legs out and relax for the flight.
It was a long 4 hours, full of turbulence but every minute that ticked by brought me closer and closer to my sir.
We arrived at the gate and had to sit on the runway waiting for another plane to vacate our gate. This was just the delay that we needed to give DT the time he needed to get a parking spot and into the terminal to pick me and my luggage up.
I can't tell you how amazing it was to see his smiling face when I came downstairs to pick up my luggage. His smile was the only thing I saw. His eyes second, the pure unadulterated love in his face consumed me. I was HOME. With my sir....did I mention, he brought me ROSES!!! No one has ever given me flowers before, and he brought me ROSES!!!
Seat assignment? center. UGH no thanks, what can I do. hmmm, they have one seat open on the isle, but its a bulkhead seat. Oh hell, I have small luggage lets go for it! I took the seat and I tell you it was the best I could have asked for. The bulkhead wall ended just before my seat, so it was almost like sitting in first class, I could stretch my legs out and relax for the flight.
It was a long 4 hours, full of turbulence but every minute that ticked by brought me closer and closer to my sir.
We arrived at the gate and had to sit on the runway waiting for another plane to vacate our gate. This was just the delay that we needed to give DT the time he needed to get a parking spot and into the terminal to pick me and my luggage up.
I can't tell you how amazing it was to see his smiling face when I came downstairs to pick up my luggage. His smile was the only thing I saw. His eyes second, the pure unadulterated love in his face consumed me. I was HOME. With my sir....did I mention, he brought me ROSES!!! No one has ever given me flowers before, and he brought me ROSES!!!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
What do you call her?
She said yes. She told him to do it. He was her husband....and while he did it she lay there and cried, praying it would be over soon, hate in her eyes. Had she said No, he would have done it anyway. (I was asked by my babydoll to proofread this post and it has stirred up some emotions and issues from my past so I feel I need to comment on this blog as well ~DT)
Is it rape?
(Yes it is .)
Rape is defined as
unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent
sexual assault is defined as
a statutory offense that provides that it is a crime to knowingly cause another person to engage in an unwanted sexual act by force or threat.
By force of threat...or under threat of injury.
So, what if you're arguing, he isn't violent...YET, but his previous patterns say he will be soon. And you tell him, fine do it you want it so bad just stick it in and get it over with. Then you lay there looking at him with hate in your eyes, letting him know just exactly how much you hate him. Is there a threat? Is that consent? Is it rape? sexual assault? none of the above?
(Yes it is just because he hasn't hit you YET doesn't mean he won't.)
What is it called when you have sex with your husband so that you won't have to argue with him, because that argument is going to be verbally abusive, demeaning, hateful, and just plain hell. What do you call that woman?
( If you are under the worry or thought of abuse, physical or mental and under duress use sex as a "distractionary" tactic, it is sex under duress or threat of abuse, So again I say yes.)
What do you call the woman who wakes up to find her husband on top of her, penetrating her, oblivious of the fact that she is asleep, not caring that she can't say yes? Only caring about his own base needs. His response to the tears afterward? I couldn't help it you are just so sexy. Is she just being sexy? Is that the price she pays for being attractive to men?
(You would call her the victim of a RAPE, even married it is still non-consensual sex)
What do you call the woman that says yes, but as the act progresses she says no, it hurts it's not what she wants...please stop. Don't do this, it hurts please stop, with tears in her eyes, pleading. Only for him to continue on? Is she a victim? Did she ask for it? Is she being a tease? And the next night when he wants it again, and she refuses only to be met with a guilt trip about his needs, and how she is so beautiful, so sexy, he loves her so much. Would it just be easier if she were ugly?
(What kind of animal does this to a person he "professes" to love? I understand the heat of the moment, but if she says stop it hurts and is crying, you are needing to stop. )
Does a wife even have the right to say no? Isn't it her duty to serve her husband? Wifely duty and all that? What is it if the woman says no because it is her duty as a wife. Does she even have the right to say NO? And if verbally beaten into the position where she does it because its frankly just easier to do it and get it over with than it is to fight it? To just say yes when every cell in your body says no I don't want this.
(Wifely duty, even the letter of most "Christian vows" doesn't spell out that she must "have marital relations or else" her sexual duties to her husband stop at her consent, it is her body and as such, she can say "no". Men if she is saying no, rather than get pissed off and demand she performs "marital" or worse taking them, find out why she doesn't or won't, listen and try to fix it, even if you need outside help)
How does this woman say NO when he threatens to take the children and never let her see them again? To have her removed from "his" house? To shut off the phone, Internet, satellite, water, electric, take away her car keys and physically disable the car as well? What if she can't support herself and her children outside of the marriage? WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN SHE SAYS YES????
(In my opinion, this is the LOWEST form of mental abuse and should be a criminal offense, the denial or threat of denial of basic necessities. Again this is "consent under duress or threat' and should be prosecuted as rape)
(To the woman who has endured this but not been hurt enough to get a ride in an ambulance or worse a hearse, I would call her a "survivor". Please explain to me how in most states in this glorious country a woman can get help, assistance to get away BEFORE she is beaten, battered or killed. But in the MAJORITY of the states in this SHAMEFUL country, the divorce and domestic violence codes are so old and backward that even a trip to the hospital might not even be enough to get her the help she needs to escape, to live, to survive. I know you are asking what do I know of domestic violence? What do I know of Rape? As a man, I have been married twice and never perpetrated "marital rights" on either of my wives, and the big one is my own mother was beaten to death in according to the police "a random act of "senseless" violence", what that says is a PC way of saying she was murdered when she defended herself against a rape. So with that view into the dark corners of my soul, you can see why my emotions are so strong and raw on this topic. In closing, this country needs a complete overhaul of the divorce and domestic violence standards and penal codes that is set to a NATIONAL standard and LISTENS to victims as much as the perpetrator.
thank you for reading this and if you have the ability to make a change please do before it is someone you know or love that this happens to.
WHAT DO YOU CALL
THE WOMAN THAT LIVES ALL OF THIS EVERY DAY?
I call her ME.
You see, sometimes, it is simply survival. There is no leaving, the reasons are too many, too varied, too complex. So, you stay and you keep doing it. You hate yourself for it, you are dirty, used, broken. You try to be unattractive, you just hope to survive to live another day.
It wasn't supposed to be about ME.........
Is it rape?
(Yes it is .)
Rape is defined as
unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent
sexual assault is defined as
a statutory offense that provides that it is a crime to knowingly cause another person to engage in an unwanted sexual act by force or threat.
By force of threat...or under threat of injury.
So, what if you're arguing, he isn't violent...YET, but his previous patterns say he will be soon. And you tell him, fine do it you want it so bad just stick it in and get it over with. Then you lay there looking at him with hate in your eyes, letting him know just exactly how much you hate him. Is there a threat? Is that consent? Is it rape? sexual assault? none of the above?
(Yes it is just because he hasn't hit you YET doesn't mean he won't.)
What is it called when you have sex with your husband so that you won't have to argue with him, because that argument is going to be verbally abusive, demeaning, hateful, and just plain hell. What do you call that woman?
( If you are under the worry or thought of abuse, physical or mental and under duress use sex as a "distractionary" tactic, it is sex under duress or threat of abuse, So again I say yes.)
What do you call the woman who wakes up to find her husband on top of her, penetrating her, oblivious of the fact that she is asleep, not caring that she can't say yes? Only caring about his own base needs. His response to the tears afterward? I couldn't help it you are just so sexy. Is she just being sexy? Is that the price she pays for being attractive to men?
(You would call her the victim of a RAPE, even married it is still non-consensual sex)
What do you call the woman that says yes, but as the act progresses she says no, it hurts it's not what she wants...please stop. Don't do this, it hurts please stop, with tears in her eyes, pleading. Only for him to continue on? Is she a victim? Did she ask for it? Is she being a tease? And the next night when he wants it again, and she refuses only to be met with a guilt trip about his needs, and how she is so beautiful, so sexy, he loves her so much. Would it just be easier if she were ugly?
(What kind of animal does this to a person he "professes" to love? I understand the heat of the moment, but if she says stop it hurts and is crying, you are needing to stop. )
Does a wife even have the right to say no? Isn't it her duty to serve her husband? Wifely duty and all that? What is it if the woman says no because it is her duty as a wife. Does she even have the right to say NO? And if verbally beaten into the position where she does it because its frankly just easier to do it and get it over with than it is to fight it? To just say yes when every cell in your body says no I don't want this.
(Wifely duty, even the letter of most "Christian vows" doesn't spell out that she must "have marital relations or else" her sexual duties to her husband stop at her consent, it is her body and as such, she can say "no". Men if she is saying no, rather than get pissed off and demand she performs "marital" or worse taking them, find out why she doesn't or won't, listen and try to fix it, even if you need outside help)
How does this woman say NO when he threatens to take the children and never let her see them again? To have her removed from "his" house? To shut off the phone, Internet, satellite, water, electric, take away her car keys and physically disable the car as well? What if she can't support herself and her children outside of the marriage? WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN SHE SAYS YES????
(In my opinion, this is the LOWEST form of mental abuse and should be a criminal offense, the denial or threat of denial of basic necessities. Again this is "consent under duress or threat' and should be prosecuted as rape)
(To the woman who has endured this but not been hurt enough to get a ride in an ambulance or worse a hearse, I would call her a "survivor". Please explain to me how in most states in this glorious country a woman can get help, assistance to get away BEFORE she is beaten, battered or killed. But in the MAJORITY of the states in this SHAMEFUL country, the divorce and domestic violence codes are so old and backward that even a trip to the hospital might not even be enough to get her the help she needs to escape, to live, to survive. I know you are asking what do I know of domestic violence? What do I know of Rape? As a man, I have been married twice and never perpetrated "marital rights" on either of my wives, and the big one is my own mother was beaten to death in according to the police "a random act of "senseless" violence", what that says is a PC way of saying she was murdered when she defended herself against a rape. So with that view into the dark corners of my soul, you can see why my emotions are so strong and raw on this topic. In closing, this country needs a complete overhaul of the divorce and domestic violence standards and penal codes that is set to a NATIONAL standard and LISTENS to victims as much as the perpetrator.
thank you for reading this and if you have the ability to make a change please do before it is someone you know or love that this happens to.
WHAT DO YOU CALL
THE WOMAN THAT LIVES ALL OF THIS EVERY DAY?
I call her ME.
You see, sometimes, it is simply survival. There is no leaving, the reasons are too many, too varied, too complex. So, you stay and you keep doing it. You hate yourself for it, you are dirty, used, broken. You try to be unattractive, you just hope to survive to live another day.
It wasn't supposed to be about ME.........
Monday, October 26, 2009
He's gone....
So, it was that time again. Time for me and DT to spend time together live and in person!
DT flew into the airport 3 hours away while I was at work. He was able to get his rental car and drive out to my mother's house and I still had 2 hours to work. True to form he got to town before I was ready, mainly because he was in such a hurry to get to me that he didn't stop and get something to eat. Since I wasn't ready for him I decided to have him meet me at a local fast food place. ( I know I know, bad sub )
So, I hustled my little butt to get ready praying to make it there before him. No such luck...again what am I thinking I have got the be the worst sub ever! This is the second time we have been together and the second time I've left him waiting. I don't know how he puts up with me frankly. I disappoint myself.
I finally showed, and we had something to eat, our hands and lips all over each other. It was just incredible to see him again, to be with him, to feel him. I wanted to cry, I wanted to laugh, I wanted to stop time.
A quick run to the store, and then to get some drinks before heading to the house. Our home for the next few days. And what is the first thing we did? mmmm, yeah you got it I got to claim my bragging rights again.
We got in the house and kissed and cuddled and loved each other until he was ready, he swatted my ass and sent me off to the basement. I needed a few minutes to prep so gave him 5 minutes to wait for me (yeah I know again). I stripped, and got into position, on my knees eyes to the floor, and waited for him. He came into the room, and I stripped him from the waist down and proceeded to suck him off. With only one goal in mind. To make him cum, and swallow it all. Well, after 8 days of no release I had no hope of taking it all, so wore it. Yes, wore it...mmmm and that started my hot sex-filled weekend. I'm exhausted and can't wait to hear his voice again.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
He worries....about me
When I was a little girl I knew exactly what kind of man I was going to marry. He was kind and loving, gentle, but in control, he cherished me, worried about me, a little jealous and possessive and because of this I wanted nothing more than to serve him and make him happy. Now, I look back and see the lifestyle hints back then but never realized just where that came from.
What I've found myself married to. TWICE, are men who are controlling, demeaning, hateful, spiteful, lazy, and abusive. So, with them both I shut down, there was no happiness in my life. I went on day by day, I gave up. To the point of letting myself and my home go to waste. I retreated into the worthless heap of nothingness that they made me believe I was. This month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Not something I came here with the intent of talking about but in reading posts from several wonderful bloggers like Britni I've been forced to look at my life, where I have been and where I am now, and with that came the harsh realization that my current husband is a classic abuser. As was my Ex. Not something you want to have to admit to yourself.
But that's not why I'm here today. That's something I am still working with and dealing with, one day I'll be back to discuss that in more detail. Today I'm here to relish another man in my life. The Man I dreamt of as a child. He's not perfect, no far from it honestly. But he loves me, completely. His kinks match mine. We see our lifestyle in a similar light and only want to watch it grow and shape itself into something just for us. He worries about me if he doesn't hear from me and he should have if he knows my FX is home or close to it. He has said several times that he loves me so much that he cannot imagine our life together being so short-lived. So, he keeps me cautious and warns me of potential dangers, he reminds me to stay safe and securely grounded when the FX is home. He has a green streak, that is cute it reminds me that I am his and only his and that he cares enough about me to give me that little bit of jealousy to make me feel good. He is possessive of me...but not in the abusive controlling way. He claims me as his, he loves me like no other and makes me feel wanted and desired. This man has given me all that I could ask for...right along with his imperfections. He's a geek, he's a kid at heart, he worries and stresses, not to mention married to someone else...sigh.
The funny thing is that he tells me he worries, that he doesn't want anything to happen to me. And I don't know what to say. No one has ever felt that way before about me, or if they have they never felt I needed to hear it. So, what do I do, I get embarrassed, I blush, I tell him not to worry. I tell him to stop doing all those things that I've been looking for, all the things I've always wanted....the things that make him...HIM. What am I thinking????
Thank you, lover, for letting me concede gracefully.
I love you Sir
What I've found myself married to. TWICE, are men who are controlling, demeaning, hateful, spiteful, lazy, and abusive. So, with them both I shut down, there was no happiness in my life. I went on day by day, I gave up. To the point of letting myself and my home go to waste. I retreated into the worthless heap of nothingness that they made me believe I was. This month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Not something I came here with the intent of talking about but in reading posts from several wonderful bloggers like Britni I've been forced to look at my life, where I have been and where I am now, and with that came the harsh realization that my current husband is a classic abuser. As was my Ex. Not something you want to have to admit to yourself.
But that's not why I'm here today. That's something I am still working with and dealing with, one day I'll be back to discuss that in more detail. Today I'm here to relish another man in my life. The Man I dreamt of as a child. He's not perfect, no far from it honestly. But he loves me, completely. His kinks match mine. We see our lifestyle in a similar light and only want to watch it grow and shape itself into something just for us. He worries about me if he doesn't hear from me and he should have if he knows my FX is home or close to it. He has said several times that he loves me so much that he cannot imagine our life together being so short-lived. So, he keeps me cautious and warns me of potential dangers, he reminds me to stay safe and securely grounded when the FX is home. He has a green streak, that is cute it reminds me that I am his and only his and that he cares enough about me to give me that little bit of jealousy to make me feel good. He is possessive of me...but not in the abusive controlling way. He claims me as his, he loves me like no other and makes me feel wanted and desired. This man has given me all that I could ask for...right along with his imperfections. He's a geek, he's a kid at heart, he worries and stresses, not to mention married to someone else...sigh.
The funny thing is that he tells me he worries, that he doesn't want anything to happen to me. And I don't know what to say. No one has ever felt that way before about me, or if they have they never felt I needed to hear it. So, what do I do, I get embarrassed, I blush, I tell him not to worry. I tell him to stop doing all those things that I've been looking for, all the things I've always wanted....the things that make him...HIM. What am I thinking????
Thank you, lover, for letting me concede gracefully.
I love you Sir
Monday, October 5, 2009
10 Things I Hate About You - sub addition
Recently my oldest daughter has been obsessed with this movie. Now I will admit its a cute one for the teens.
So, inspired by this I decided it was time to do my top ten list for my loving Sir Die_tryin. And then again, a top ten for hating my FX. Hate is a strong word, but I must say that right now its the only word I have for him. Now, let's add to this that a few weeks ago I asked my DT to make a post about the feelings he was having about his FX. He didn't go anywhere near where I wanted him to go, but that's ok it was his therapy so who am I to dictate. You can read his post on our blog from yesterday.
10 Things I Hate About You - FX addition
1. The way he can't ever say anything positive about me without following it with a plethora of negatives. You look good, but your butt could really be more toned, and your belly is kinda soft.
2. The way he fights. Mean, nasty, dirty, aggressive, violent.
3. The way he uses my body for his pleasure. This may sound odd coming from a sub like me, but when he uses me it's not the same. It's only about sex, not me, not him, not love, not submission....just sex. And let me just say that even when your married to someone - No should still mean No.
4. The way he has beaten and belittled me until I feel fat, ugly, worthless, and a complete failure. Oh but wait this is the same man that has this conversation with me...Him: I love you Me: you only love me for my body Him: yeah, and the problem with that is?
5. The way he has the power to make me cry still! Or maybe this something I hate about me. That I let him have this power.
6. His mental instability. How he can go from angry to happy to apologetic to cruel and hateful all in the blink of an eye.
7. How cruel he is to my children, and yet has the most patient loving demeanor with our two.
8. The way he says I'm talking down to him because I use big words like negate, positive affirmation, facetious, and quantify. Did you know the fact that I know more than 4 letter words makes me a know it all?
9. HYGIENE!!! Enough said.
10. The fact that he can do as he pleases and expects me to just accept it and roll with it, but if I even hint at doing the same I'm a horrible person....even a whore.
And now......
10 Things I Hate About You...errr WAIT, 10 Things I love about DT
1. The way he makes me laugh. No matter how dark and down I am, no matter how lost I feel, he can always make me smile.
2. The way he loves me. This man loves me unconditionally, with no strings attached. As we both say truly madly deeply completely always and forever....and a day.
3. His eyes, the way they shine with love when he looks at me, the way they sparkle when he laughs, the way they open up to his soul, be it good or bad.
4. His touch, no one has ever touched me the way he has. Soft and rough, smooth and harsh, tender and commanding.
5. The way we have so many things in common, both vanilla and kink. Sex, food, parenting, cars, computers, games, and so many other things.
6. The way we can spend hours talking, and never run out of things to say. There is a comfortable ease between us.
7. The way we fit together. He is an amazingly sexy man. His body fits against mine in passion and in sleep as if made for mine.
8. His kiss, oh dear lord his kiss!! The feel of his lips claiming mine is enough to stop me dead in my tracks.
9. His willingness to dominate and control me. To take me to places I have only dreamed of going, to challenge me and push my boundaries while always having my well being as his utmost priority.
10. The way he takes care of and spoils me. He has sent me coffee, shirts, a ring, and that's not to mention the emotional and psychological support he has given me. This man never ceases to stop giving.
and for good measure...
11. The most important thing.....
He loves and trusts me as his friend, his confidant, his partner, his lover, his sub, and his future wife.
So, inspired by this I decided it was time to do my top ten list for my loving Sir Die_tryin. And then again, a top ten for hating my FX. Hate is a strong word, but I must say that right now its the only word I have for him. Now, let's add to this that a few weeks ago I asked my DT to make a post about the feelings he was having about his FX. He didn't go anywhere near where I wanted him to go, but that's ok it was his therapy so who am I to dictate. You can read his post on our blog from yesterday.
10 Things I Hate About You - FX addition
1. The way he can't ever say anything positive about me without following it with a plethora of negatives. You look good, but your butt could really be more toned, and your belly is kinda soft.
2. The way he fights. Mean, nasty, dirty, aggressive, violent.
3. The way he uses my body for his pleasure. This may sound odd coming from a sub like me, but when he uses me it's not the same. It's only about sex, not me, not him, not love, not submission....just sex. And let me just say that even when your married to someone - No should still mean No.
4. The way he has beaten and belittled me until I feel fat, ugly, worthless, and a complete failure. Oh but wait this is the same man that has this conversation with me...Him: I love you Me: you only love me for my body Him: yeah, and the problem with that is?
5. The way he has the power to make me cry still! Or maybe this something I hate about me. That I let him have this power.
6. His mental instability. How he can go from angry to happy to apologetic to cruel and hateful all in the blink of an eye.
7. How cruel he is to my children, and yet has the most patient loving demeanor with our two.
8. The way he says I'm talking down to him because I use big words like negate, positive affirmation, facetious, and quantify. Did you know the fact that I know more than 4 letter words makes me a know it all?
9. HYGIENE!!! Enough said.
10. The fact that he can do as he pleases and expects me to just accept it and roll with it, but if I even hint at doing the same I'm a horrible person....even a whore.
And now......
10 Things I Hate About You...errr WAIT, 10 Things I love about DT
1. The way he makes me laugh. No matter how dark and down I am, no matter how lost I feel, he can always make me smile.
2. The way he loves me. This man loves me unconditionally, with no strings attached. As we both say truly madly deeply completely always and forever....and a day.
3. His eyes, the way they shine with love when he looks at me, the way they sparkle when he laughs, the way they open up to his soul, be it good or bad.
4. His touch, no one has ever touched me the way he has. Soft and rough, smooth and harsh, tender and commanding.
5. The way we have so many things in common, both vanilla and kink. Sex, food, parenting, cars, computers, games, and so many other things.
6. The way we can spend hours talking, and never run out of things to say. There is a comfortable ease between us.
7. The way we fit together. He is an amazingly sexy man. His body fits against mine in passion and in sleep as if made for mine.
8. His kiss, oh dear lord his kiss!! The feel of his lips claiming mine is enough to stop me dead in my tracks.
9. His willingness to dominate and control me. To take me to places I have only dreamed of going, to challenge me and push my boundaries while always having my well being as his utmost priority.
10. The way he takes care of and spoils me. He has sent me coffee, shirts, a ring, and that's not to mention the emotional and psychological support he has given me. This man never ceases to stop giving.
and for good measure...
11. The most important thing.....
He loves and trusts me as his friend, his confidant, his partner, his lover, his sub, and his future wife.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
SIR SUNDAY - 10 things
Sir Sunday – Ten things-The Dom edition.
The List……10 Things I love about His_Baby_Doll and 10 things I despise about my FX
Let me start from “my soapbox in the corner of the internet”
The things I love about HBD in no particular order;
1. Her smile, and not just her smile but how her face and eyes light up when she is happy and truly smiling. I do have photographic evidence of this and no I am not going to share, yes I am a selfish bastard
2. Her complete and utter love for me and the fact my complete love of her is accepted and returned.
3. The complete open and honest relationship we have, it makes the distance at least a little more bearable and it is the core block on which our whole relationship is built, as I often say “without our open and honest we wouldn't work”
4. I know even if we were “vanilla” we would love each other as strongly as we do right now, and it continues to grow every minute of every day.
5. We have very similar and complementing “kinks” and have genuine interests in the same topics and “fetishes”. Our excitement to learn is only limited by our imaginations.
6. Her compassion and ability to show love is the best I have ever had the pleasure of receiving and knowing.
7. Even though she will disagree with me I feel she is the sexiest woman I know and have ever had love me in return.
8. The BEST lover I have ever had!!!! (Enough said).
9. An incredible sense of humor that is always there even when we are being serious a joke or a side topic can pop in and out in full stride at full speed. HBD has a sharp wit and the intelligence to back it up.
10. The complete trust in me in all aspects of our lives.
The 10 things I despise about my FX. In no particular order;
1. Her complete lack of trust in me and my abilities. In every aspect of life.
2. The fact which has been proven time and time again that I am “not enough of a provider for the lifestyle she expects”
3. Her Temper and her “razor tongue” which when we argue and fight has a tendency to cut quick, cut deep and cut often.
4. How after vilifying my EX about taking me for granted for as long as she did is now doing the exact same thing and when confronted justifies the acts with the statement “when your EX did it she didn't love you”, the FX has a strange way of showing love.
5. Her lack of patience with important issues, her constant pushing of issues always causes more hurt than results.
6. When she feels stressed or cornered, whether or not she truly is, verbally she goes off on the people who are closest to her, further alienating and hurting the ones she professes to love.
7. Her recent inability to make a decision and stick to it since the boys were born is both frustrating and infuriating.
8. The level of financial ruin I have been pushed into (in the name of love) based on the level of purchases I needed to make to “even the score between her and my ex”
9. How there is no level of communication except “superficial” and “argue”
10. When during the 3rd trimester of her complicated pregnancy I had to stop having sex with her for her own health and safety. She tells me I have destroyed our intimacy and I need to “re court her and woo her back” and I then spent the next 4 months proving to her that I did love her and desire her, to no avail, I was still taken for granted and I told her what she was doing to me and it was met with cold indifference.
So now that that is out of my system let the healing begin, and this can serve as a reminder to me about all the wrongs in my last marriage and keep me and HBD from falling into the same patterns.
The List……10 Things I love about His_Baby_Doll and 10 things I despise about my FX
Let me start from “my soapbox in the corner of the internet”
The things I love about HBD in no particular order;
1. Her smile, and not just her smile but how her face and eyes light up when she is happy and truly smiling. I do have photographic evidence of this and no I am not going to share, yes I am a selfish bastard
2. Her complete and utter love for me and the fact my complete love of her is accepted and returned.
3. The complete open and honest relationship we have, it makes the distance at least a little more bearable and it is the core block on which our whole relationship is built, as I often say “without our open and honest we wouldn't work”
4. I know even if we were “vanilla” we would love each other as strongly as we do right now, and it continues to grow every minute of every day.
5. We have very similar and complementing “kinks” and have genuine interests in the same topics and “fetishes”. Our excitement to learn is only limited by our imaginations.
6. Her compassion and ability to show love is the best I have ever had the pleasure of receiving and knowing.
7. Even though she will disagree with me I feel she is the sexiest woman I know and have ever had love me in return.
8. The BEST lover I have ever had!!!! (Enough said).
9. An incredible sense of humor that is always there even when we are being serious a joke or a side topic can pop in and out in full stride at full speed. HBD has a sharp wit and the intelligence to back it up.
10. The complete trust in me in all aspects of our lives.
The 10 things I despise about my FX. In no particular order;
1. Her complete lack of trust in me and my abilities. In every aspect of life.
2. The fact which has been proven time and time again that I am “not enough of a provider for the lifestyle she expects”
3. Her Temper and her “razor tongue” which when we argue and fight has a tendency to cut quick, cut deep and cut often.
4. How after vilifying my EX about taking me for granted for as long as she did is now doing the exact same thing and when confronted justifies the acts with the statement “when your EX did it she didn't love you”, the FX has a strange way of showing love.
5. Her lack of patience with important issues, her constant pushing of issues always causes more hurt than results.
6. When she feels stressed or cornered, whether or not she truly is, verbally she goes off on the people who are closest to her, further alienating and hurting the ones she professes to love.
7. Her recent inability to make a decision and stick to it since the boys were born is both frustrating and infuriating.
8. The level of financial ruin I have been pushed into (in the name of love) based on the level of purchases I needed to make to “even the score between her and my ex”
9. How there is no level of communication except “superficial” and “argue”
10. When during the 3rd trimester of her complicated pregnancy I had to stop having sex with her for her own health and safety. She tells me I have destroyed our intimacy and I need to “re court her and woo her back” and I then spent the next 4 months proving to her that I did love her and desire her, to no avail, I was still taken for granted and I told her what she was doing to me and it was met with cold indifference.
So now that that is out of my system let the healing begin, and this can serve as a reminder to me about all the wrongs in my last marriage and keep me and HBD from falling into the same patterns.
I love, cherish and truly desire you Babydoll.
Please marry me and spend the rest of our days together, happy and loved.
I love you, Truly, Madly, Deeply.
~DT
Please marry me and spend the rest of our days together, happy and loved.
I love you, Truly, Madly, Deeply.
~DT
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
HNT - teasing me
My Sir loves me and he loves to tease me....with a package like that. He has just what it takes to get my motor running.
Thank you, Sir.
don't forget to stop by osbasso's and see all the rest of the HNT goodness!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Sir Sunday - Back to the west
Sir Sunday
Back to the West……..
Ranting, raving, and musing from “my soapbox in the corner of the internet”
As any of you have read the blog lately, you no doubt have noticed the countdown ticker in the top left. Yes, it is time for me to go and visit HBD again! We promise to take pictures and blog about our deviantly fun times.
So with the tickets bought and schedules arranged the discussion has moved to the actual trip. We are discussing our goals for the trip, our needs, and our desires, all to fit in our limited time together. HBD wants to claim her bragging rights again, and who am I to stop that, it is a great start to a visit. We have both expressed in very graphic terms described the more animal desires. Then there is the rope….. HBD is really in for it this time I am feeling a lot more comfortable in tying her up after recapping the first time in Denver and my looking around for more shibari knots to use with her. There are the Showers and snuggling But we have also discussed a few more vanilla pursuits, like an evening out, catching a movie, more mundane everyday life things.
These things are part of the reason I love HBD, we communicate and fit well together, her desires are met and she meets and exceeds my desires on a regular basis.
I am sure this trip will be nothing short of epic, and the stuff blog posts are made of.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and we will be reporting back around the end of October with our exploits.
I love you Babydoll and cannot wait until we are together again, Loving, Touching, Squeezing……each other….. (Sorry to any Journey fans out there).
~DT
Thursday, September 24, 2009
HNT woo hooo again
You have to understand that I live in an old old old house that does NOT have a bathtub, only a shower stall. This is quite a disappointment to me as I love a long soak in the tub to relax.
So, you can imagine just how much I enjoyed taking a very long hot bath the last time I spent the night in my mother's summer house. Can't wait to do it again!!
don't forget to stop by osbasso's and see all the rest of the HNT goodness!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
as directed....
Last night I was feeling very empty and broken. Just a shell of myself, emotionally exhausted by the roller coaster I call my life and physically worn out by the work I've been doing.
Right now my communication time with DT has been limited by my FX, discretion is his buzz word so he asks that I don't talk to DT when the kids are up or around. Which sounds reasonable right? Until you realize that he keeps the phone tied up himself after the girls are out for the night, or while I'm in the car and away from them, further cutting into my time with DT. But I digress...
Last night...I was so tired that DT sent me to bed early. It hurt me to hang up, to shut down and go to sleep. In essence, I was taking away my time with him myself. And it bothered me. Knowing this to be true DT put on his Dom cap and sent me to bed with instructions to sleep well, dream of him, and to come back this morning and write about one of those dreamed of moments when we are together and things are good.
So, here goes.
The moment was quiet, peaceful, loving...
The sun was coming in the windows of a bedroom I've never seen before, the bed was HUGE piled high with pillows and warm down blankets. And burrowed deep in its depths was DT, and me. Curled up around each other, talking about our lives, how we got to this place. Where we wanted to go from there, and just enjoying the feeling of being together.
We kissed and cuddled, talked and laughed. It was comfortable, easy, and so very very right.
Its flashes and images like this that pull me through the days, toward my goal. Thank you, Sir, for making me look at them more closely when I needed it most.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
The Demons you don't know
I keep looking at my current situation, its a train wreck.
I love Die_tryin, with all my heart, but what it is he sees in me I'll never know. I don't really want to know either, those things those mysteries are his to keep. They make me love myself, simply out of respect for his love for me. Is that odd? Does that mean I'm too dependent on him?
Moreover, how did I get to be like this? How is it that I have allowed myself to become so weak that anyone who comes along can see that flaw and beat me into submission (and not the submission I crave). Looking at my FX and my EX I see that they both have beaten and abused me, mentally, emotionally, and yes to a point physically. I have crawled into a shell and retreated from the woman I should be. What about me has made this possible? Was it just a bad choice in men? Or is it a deep-seated flaw in my personality that makes me the eternal victim. I feel weak, broken, and substandard.
How will I move on? Divorce is in my future, not because of DT, but because I need to salvage what little is left of me. DT is a wonderful man, who loves me, and who I love completely. What happens between us is separate from me leaving my FX. But how do I find the strength and security I need to leave the one place I know, the one place where everything is predictable. How do I walk away from that into a world I don't know, one that is full of change and unknown demons? Sometimes the demons you know are worse than the ones you don't.
I'm scared, that I'm not ready..........that I can't do this.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Sir Sunday- Back on my "Soap Box"
Sir Sunday
Rants and ravings from my soapbox in the corner of the internet.
I know it has been a while since I have been up here on my soapbox, it has been too long. But as you all know there has been a lot of life-changing events in both my and HBD’s lives. There is no need to recap them all, but it had taken both HBD's and my desire to write for a bit and due to security concerns we have been forced underground and private for now. But now we are slowly coming back to the blog and our e-friends.
I had a different topic in mind when I sat down to write this post but like is usually the case I seem to have abandoned the original topic for whatever seems to come pouring out of my brain.
These last 4 or so weeks have been complete and utter hell for HBD and me, between her FX being home for 3 weekends in a row and his unpredictable moods, (which I swear he is on drugs) and my FX and her incessant crying and whining about how bad her life is. Her FX has taken to calling me on the phone and trying to “get to know the man that makes his wife happy”.(wtf) A lame attempt at trying to control the situation, as we are trying to convince him that we are working on a “poly” relationship, this is just to try and keep him calm and HBD safe. He is constantly flip-flopping back and forth about making it work to calling me and texting me to tell me HBD is all mine and he hopes we are happy. (How many times does he have to do that before I can say “dude are you serious this time?”) This has to stop eventually …right?
Well, I know this is a short recap and gripe fest, but I have to start somewhere to get back on the blogging track and this seemed like as good a place as any.
Now I would like to put a couple of Poems I recently wrote for HBD here, for her and your reading pleasure.
With you...
When I'm with you,
Eternity is a step away,
My love continues to grow,
With each passing day.
This treasure of love,
I cherish within my soul,
How much I love you...
You’ll never really know.
You bring joy to my heart,
I've never felt before,
With each touch of your hand,
I love you more and more.
Whenever we say goodbye,
Whenever we part,
Know I hold you dearly,
Deep inside my heart.
So these seven words,
I pray you hold true,
"Forever and Always,
I Will Love You."
Need you
I love you more than all the stars in the sky.
I love you more as each moment passes us by.
I love you more with every breath I take.
I love you more with each promise we make.
I need you like a flower needs the rain.
I need you for you can wash away my pain.
I need you more each day
I need you for you are so wonderful, in every single way.
I miss you more than ever now.
I miss you because I really need you somehow.
I miss you and your touch.
I miss you for to me, you mean so much.
I want you to caress my lips the way you always do.
I want you to look into my eyes and see my love for you.
I want you to hold me close to your heart.
I want you to know that I love you, need you, miss you and want you
And I have for every single moment, right from the start.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post from my soapbox in this corner of the internet.
HBD you know I love you, I NEED you, and desire only you, you are my one and only for the rest of my life, you are truly my better half.
~DT
Rants and ravings from my soapbox in the corner of the internet.
I know it has been a while since I have been up here on my soapbox, it has been too long. But as you all know there has been a lot of life-changing events in both my and HBD’s lives. There is no need to recap them all, but it had taken both HBD's and my desire to write for a bit and due to security concerns we have been forced underground and private for now. But now we are slowly coming back to the blog and our e-friends.
I had a different topic in mind when I sat down to write this post but like is usually the case I seem to have abandoned the original topic for whatever seems to come pouring out of my brain.
These last 4 or so weeks have been complete and utter hell for HBD and me, between her FX being home for 3 weekends in a row and his unpredictable moods, (which I swear he is on drugs) and my FX and her incessant crying and whining about how bad her life is. Her FX has taken to calling me on the phone and trying to “get to know the man that makes his wife happy”.(wtf) A lame attempt at trying to control the situation, as we are trying to convince him that we are working on a “poly” relationship, this is just to try and keep him calm and HBD safe. He is constantly flip-flopping back and forth about making it work to calling me and texting me to tell me HBD is all mine and he hopes we are happy. (How many times does he have to do that before I can say “dude are you serious this time?”) This has to stop eventually …right?
Well, I know this is a short recap and gripe fest, but I have to start somewhere to get back on the blogging track and this seemed like as good a place as any.
Now I would like to put a couple of Poems I recently wrote for HBD here, for her and your reading pleasure.
With you...
When I'm with you,
Eternity is a step away,
My love continues to grow,
With each passing day.
This treasure of love,
I cherish within my soul,
How much I love you...
You’ll never really know.
You bring joy to my heart,
I've never felt before,
With each touch of your hand,
I love you more and more.
Whenever we say goodbye,
Whenever we part,
Know I hold you dearly,
Deep inside my heart.
So these seven words,
I pray you hold true,
"Forever and Always,
I Will Love You."
Need you
I love you more than all the stars in the sky.
I love you more as each moment passes us by.
I love you more with every breath I take.
I love you more with each promise we make.
I need you like a flower needs the rain.
I need you for you can wash away my pain.
I need you more each day
I need you for you are so wonderful, in every single way.
I miss you more than ever now.
I miss you because I really need you somehow.
I miss you and your touch.
I miss you for to me, you mean so much.
I want you to caress my lips the way you always do.
I want you to look into my eyes and see my love for you.
I want you to hold me close to your heart.
I want you to know that I love you, need you, miss you and want you
And I have for every single moment, right from the start.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post from my soapbox in this corner of the internet.
HBD you know I love you, I NEED you, and desire only you, you are my one and only for the rest of my life, you are truly my better half.
~DT
Saturday, September 19, 2009
STOP the planet I wanna get off.
And not in a good way either!
I'm so tired, physically and emotionally. This roller coaster I call life has turned into a nightmare, one I'm afraid will never end, or if it does it will end badly. I don't know how I ever thought it would end well....easy you might say. It won't.
The days are filled with a plethora of changing emotions, thoughts, outbursts...personalities all wrapped up in the body of my FX. I can never tell what personality will come out next. Will it be the kind caring man that wants to make a Poly relationship work? Will it be the vile hateful man that only wants to cut me with his words? Will it be the jealous angry man that is so very unpredictable who only wants to crush me, break me, and? Or, will it be the crying confused man that only wants to play guilt trips and word games to try and destroy me? Who will it be?
So far, all day he has been the kind caring man. But what will I find the next time I answer the phone?
Thursday, September 17, 2009
His touch....HNT
Right now, all I can think about is his touch. The way his hand feels brushing against my skin. The gentle way he has of caressing me while I sleep, Does he even realize that he does it? His fingers brush against my body and it soothes me. And I sleep, better than I ever have before.
Then there is the urgent touch of his fingers on my nipples, as they tease and torment my body, slipping to play with my clit, its this touch that bends me, breaks me, and gives me life. I want him, I need him...and with this touch, the hunger in me burns hot and urgent.
Its the way his arms wrap around me, protecting me from all that is dark in the world. The past that haunts me, the future that terrifies me. They all slip away and they leave me only peace. Nothing can harm me enveloped in his arms, his strong chest holding me up, his heart beating against my cheek as I sleep.
Countered by the sting of his hand as it falls against my ass repetitively, bringing me to newer heights of pleasure. There is a soothing sense of calm that comes over me as it falls again, and again against my tender flesh. Heated and red, the sting stays with me when he is finished.
But it's his kiss that I miss the most, soft, tender, loving, hungry, needy, tasting me, drawing me into him....there are millions of feelings, and unlimited emotions wrapped up in those seemingly simple touches.
There is nothing simple about all the ways we touch. There is nothing simple about him, or me, but there is one pure and simple thing that is us....and that is our love.
Thank you, Sir,
and now......don't forget to stop by osbasso's and see all the rest of the HNT goodness!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
all the drama...
I know my blog posts have been few and far between recently. There are several reasons, my job of course, and then there is the drama of my future ex (FX). Added to that there is the stress that DT has been going through by moving his family halfway across the country.
Just an update that things in my camp have gone from bad to worse. My husband knows about DT and I being in love, for now, we are telling him that we are all pursuing a poly life. So, much of my venting and ranting in the next few weeks will be all about trying to work through his issues at being poly. I have to do something or he will cut off my communication with DT and that is something that neither of us could stand.
For now, things are this way...DT and I are working to get him to Denver, where we can get him settled and then move me and my girls out to him once I'm out of my situation. Let's just pray this all falls together soon for all of our sake.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Emotionally exhausted...
I have to apologize for my absence the last few days. I'm just not in a good place mentally right now, and blogging has been so very far from my mind. Which is a very sad thing for me. I love blogging, I love getting my feelings out and sharing them with others, I feel like I've given up a part of me the last few days.
As most of you know Die_Tryin has been moving his SO from his coast home back to her parents in the midwest. Unfortunately, this is also causing me huge amounts of turmoil. I am at battle with myself. I know he loves me, wants me, needs me...as much as I do him. But I can't help but fall back into my doubts and insecurities that she will win this battle.
I can't sleep, so I'm physically exhausted, I can hardly eat I have no appetite, I'm stressed to the max leaving me emotionally exhausted as well. I have a headache that just won't go away and I'm fighting tears every time I hear his voice. I'm not the strong woman he thinks I am. I'm not the strong woman I think I am....I'm weak and emotional.
So, I find myself reaching back to our trip last month. Remembering the feel of his touch, the way his kisses taste....and getting lost again in the feel of his body possessing mine. Is this an odd way to find strength? Drawing his strength into me to get through the next 24 hours?
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Struggling...
I'm struggling right now...
As many of you know DT and I have a completely open and honest relationship. There are no secrets, and we are not afraid to tell each other EXACTLY how we feel. Normally this is a very calming and refreshing feeling for me. But tonight, I'm struggling with it.
I'm mad at him. Honestly MAD, this is a first for us. I have never been mad at him, and while I can't speak for him I do not believe he has ever been truly mad at me either. The bad part is that I find myself in a position of having to put open and honest aside in order to keep this added stress off him while he's getting his SO moved out. He did something that made me mad, and it can't be undone now. So, why even let it fester until he's home? Because I can't NOT tell him.
Now to top this off, I have all these major emotions going right now, we hardly talked yesterday because of packing, we hardly spoke today because of loading the truck. Then he had to go to a neighbors house to clean up and sleep because the AC at their house froze up and it's too hot to stay home. This is two nights that I was counting on having him to help me through this. Now I'm going into the worst few days of my life with him to date, and I'm floundering because I wasn't able to have the time I needed to be open and honest with him today. This is NOT a trend that I want to see starting with us.
I will admit that having to repress this open honesty is like telling me to stop breathing, it's crushing me.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Its just that deep...
The move is upon us. That means that my time with DT is very limited right now, and I have to say I'm not sure which one of us is struggling more. It's been months since he has slept with her, in the same room much less the same bed. Knowing that he is sleeping in a separate room, in a bed alone has helped me to get past the fact that he goes home to her every night.
Its been almost a month since I got to sleep in the same bed with my Sir, and now I know that he will be forced to sleep in the same hotel room with her Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday night in the same room at her parent's house. And this thought is ripping my heart out. But DT knows me and knows my insecurities, so he has reserved a room with not one bed, but TWO! Because he knows this would make me feel more comfortable with the situation. This man is amazing and has done so much to keep me sane. But I never feel like I do enough for him.
Because of that, I don't ask him for things, but today I found myself in the position of asking him for something. Something small, and petty, but that I needed to feel better about us. To be more secure in our path. I asked him to leave his wedding ring at his in-law's house with his SO. A little background, when his SO found out about us, he quit wearing his ring. She has told people that he isn't wearing it because of weight gain, that it's uncomfortable. I guess this helps her get through the day knowing people don't know the truth behind it. She had asked him to wear the ring at her parent's house, to put on a show for her parents so they don't think she failed. The thought of him putting that ring back on has me feeling caged, unable to breathe and ready to run. Why? I'm still working that through my mind.
Today she has been almost bi-polar in her attitudes towards the ring. Wear it please, never mind it means more to me than to you, then oh I'm sorry I was just upset. I can't stand this. I do NOT want that ring back on him. Damn it he is MINE. So, where does it stand? I don't know I suspect that he'll wear it back there. But I also believe that he will do what I asked and leave it there. He is saying he'll leave it as a last-minute thing just to avoid her slipping it back in his bag before he leaves. And there I struggle again because I know him and I'm afraid that things will be rushed and crazy before he leaves, thus leaving and flying back home wearing HER ring.
This is petty and childish, but it means more to me than even I'm willing to admit.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
We Interrupt this story with a reality break !!!..... AGAIN!!!!!!!!
Sir Sunday
We interrupt this story with a reality break !!!..... AGAIN!!!!!!!!
Hello again, it must be Sunday again because here I am “on my soapbox in this corner of the internet”. I know today is to a much smaller audience as we recently had to go “underground” and “private” for a bit as we regroup from a bit of a “Reality check”. As you all read in the last post, HBD's FX found the blog,. And luckily for us, the combination of his confrontational nature and his low IQ kept HBD a little safe from him finding out the WHOLE story. (He couldn't get past HBD's sexy pictures from the last HNT). This has truly confirmed in my mind that he is truly just a walking penis, with no cares for HBD except for the express use of her body for his own pleasure. As HBD and I have full disclosure about all things past and present, I am at least familiar with his “shortcomings” in the role of the lover. This latest tirade from the FX is another in a long line of episodes that have me apologizing for Men as a whole.
I had asked HBD earlier if things in her marriage had ever been “good” at one point, (from being married twice myself I know at one point both of my marriages had been good, then through life and personal growth and atrophy things fell into disrepair). Here is a little transcript:
HBD:.....when things were "good" between us, well let's face it he never was really in one place long enough to make connections
DT: true enough, how long did things stay good?
HBD: honestly? good, or just my perception of good?
DT: honestly
.
HBD: My perception of good, mmmm, until about a year and a half ago.........truly good......never
DT: I am sorry that your marriage was never "good"...
HBD: Don't be. I didn't realize it wasn't, in my mind it was great.
HBD: I just didn't see the wrongs in it
DT: I know but on discovery, there has to be some regret
HBD: Yeah, there is. But on the other hand, I realize I had to go through that to be where I am now. Some times the reward outweighs the regret. And if I dwell on that regret I mentally put myself back into being beat down.
DT: well I won't let you go back there, lover...
HBD: I know, and I Thank You for that. You've pulled me back out of that hole, its kinda funny to say that I'm not leaving this marriage and the hell I live in for you, I am leaving it for me. But then to turn around and say that I never would have done it without you. It seems to be a contradiction of terms.
DT: All I did was shine the light and show you the "rope' (I know metaphor overload) you had to be willing to climb it for your self, I cannot make you climb it
HBD: Exactly...some days I feel like I just need to clarify that again. I'm not leaving my current because of us, I would do it anyway.
DT: I know lover, I wouldn't have it any other way
HBD: you and us, are just the icing on the cake
DT: Exactly Babydoll...
Now looking at this exchange between us, this is a common occurrence, we are always helping each other, not just in lifestyle but in life. I am proud to say I am completely in love with the whole person that is HBD, not just the sexy part ( well that is a great bonus). I want to thank you HBD for allowing me to love you, help you and nurture you. I am so very proud of the strides you are making and I will be here for you every step of the way, forever and a day!
~DT
Friday, August 7, 2009
Oh the stress.....
So, here I am wondering how the hell I could be so careless!! After giving DT such a hard time for letting a letter slip into his wife's hands I go and point my husband to our blog!
Briefly, this is how it went down. I had an account on tumblr that my husband knew all about, it had started as a place for me to put up images to try and improve our sex life. It failed. I quit updating it and I moved on to a new tumblr for DT and me to put our thoughts into. At some point, I decided that my old tumblr needed a link to my new one, and well there was my downfall.
My husband went to that tumblr page in hopes of getting his rocks off. From there he was led to our new tumblr, and then it was just a click away and he was on my blog page, looking at me in a dress with a sexy click through to my bra/panties/garter set.
Here is where it gets funny, he is more upset about the fact that I wore that set to see another man than the fact that I was WITH another man. OK, so he didn't read enough of the blog to know all the details, and what little he did read he thinks was fiction. WHEW on that note. But really can you imagine that was what bothered him? The fact he bought me undergarments and I didn't wear them for HIM!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
HNT....inside the outside
So, you all heard about me meeting Die_Tryin in Denver at the airport, and you heard about my bragging rights, AND you heard about me standing naked in front of him loving me all the while. Well, here you go...the dress I picked him up in, don't forget to click to see what was underneath!
I know you all have to be tired of Denver shots, but well I have a million of them so you just have to deal with it. LOL
Stopover and visit Osbasso and all of the other wonderful folks on HNT this week!!
I know you all have to be tired of Denver shots, but well I have a million of them so you just have to deal with it. LOL
Stopover and visit Osbasso and all of the other wonderful folks on HNT this week!!
Monday, August 3, 2009
Personal vows...
I know that in the typical D/s relationship a collaring ceremony is pretty standard practice. But there is nothing standard or normal about my Sir Die_Tryin and myself. We march to our own beat and we are completely in sync with one another.
Back in May DT asked me to be his one and the only sub, to allow him the honor of being my Dom. I gladly accepted as you can see below...
Die_Tryin (5/9/2009 11:52:53 PM): I have a question and I am laying it out on the line here
His_BabyDoll (5/9/2009 11:53:54 PM): ok, well you know I'll always be honest with you......and I will never intentionally or knowingly hurt you. You mean to much to me.
Die_Tryin (5/9/2009 11:54:23 PM): thank you...I'm not even sure if this is the right way to phrase this,,,,,
Die_Tryin (5/9/2009 11:54:53 PM): well HBD will you be my 1st, and only Sub, if I promise to keep you well and treat you in the manner customary of the dom/sub relationship as we grow and learn together
His_BabyDoll (5/9/2009 11:55:23 PM): you're welcome
Die_Tryin (5/9/2009 11:56:23 PM): heart in my throat
His_BabyDoll (5/9/2009 11:56:29 PM): Wow, you nailed it....give me a second, so I can get my thoughts from my head to my fingers without sounding like a silly school girl.
His_BabyDoll (5/9/2009 11:57:04 PM): ok, the short answer and then I'll put my thoughts together......short answer......yes
Die_Tryin (5/9/2009 11:57:26 PM): Whew....heart returning to normal
Die_Tryin (5/9/2009 11:57:47 PM): you have made me very happy
His_BabyDoll (5/10/2009 12:04:23 AM): ok, my brain and my fingers still aren't really on the same page, but I'm gonna try to put my thoughts out there
Die_Tryin (5/10/2009 12:04:28 AM): Ok...
His_BabyDoll (5/10/2009 12:06:31 AM): wow, ok.....me being a sub is not something I tell people. I can only think of 3 .....1 didn't understand it and was scared by it, the other was all for it but the reality was that he wanted a punching bag....no he never touched me I stopped it before it got there......and 3 is you.
Die_Tryin (5/10/2009 12:06:30 AM): Just remember, I will always love you
His_BabyDoll (5/10/2009 12:07:15 AM): trying to get my heart to slow down...lol
Die_Tryin (5/10/2009 12:08:20 AM): well #2 was an idiot that is not what it is about if I am reading correctly it is about trust, control and the ability to give up control
His_BabyDoll (5/10/2009 12:08:37 AM): I love you!! can't even begin to tell you how much. That love and the trust I have for you are the reason I showed you that side of me. And you were accepted that in me.
Die_Tryin (5/10/2009 12:08:39 AM): and have love on a deeper level
His_BabyDoll (5/10/2009 12:09:11 AM): you've read it right.
Die_Tryin (5/10/2009 12:09:38 AM): well HBD I must have always thought about this kind of love but never knew what it was...
Die_Tryin (5/10/2009 12:09:56 AM): and you were here waiting for me all along
Die_Tryin (5/10/2009 12:10:15 AM): brb,,,
His_BabyDoll (5/10/2009 12:11:03 AM): most people don't realize it until a trigger comes along.
Die_Tryin (5/10/2009 12:12:27 AM): well I know that My love for you won't diminish... but I don't want to make you "complicated situation" change as well
Die_Tryin (5/10/2009 12:13:19 AM): Just so you know I have been working myself up to ask you that question for about 3 days now
His_BabyDoll (5/10/2009 12:13:46 AM): I have to tell you that for all the knowledge I've put together on this, and on me and I wants needs desires that I've never been in a D/s relationship, and so we will really have a lot of learning to do together.
His_BabyDoll (5/10/2009 12:14:27 AM): I'm glad you asked!! Thank you, you have made my night.....week....month....year....well I think you get the picture.
Die_Tryin (5/10/2009 12:14:43 AM): thank you as well, baby
We had decided that we would have a dedication/vows ceremony on June 22nd, because of the summer solstice. But as that date came closer and our vows were written I convinced him to wait until the New Moon July 22nd, my birthday, when we would be together in Denver. Face to face our vows would mean so much more to us. So, it was decided. Below you'll see the vows we shared, first my vows to DT.....
DT, when you asked me to be your submissive, I was swept up in the moment. I had no idea then that we would come to be the partners we are now. You've given me this ring as a symbol of your commitment to care for and protect me, to cherish me and have my well being at heart. In such a short time this thing between us has grown to be so much more for both of us.
I proudly accept and wear this ring the one we have designed together, declaring that I am His - Yours. In wearing this ring I will commit to you, completely. My heart, body, and soul. I surrender myself to you as your one and only submissive but not just that, as so much more. I come to you with my heart in my hand offering you my love and partnership
Together we are friends, lovers, confidants, partners, Dom & sub, and one day when the time is right - husband and wife. I love you DT, completely and will spend the rest of life honoring your love for me, in all that I do. Thank you, for loving me.
and now his vows to me...
HBD, while I loved you for a long time before I realized it, we both have come
To realize that we were meant to be. I humbly asked you to be my "one and only sub",
And when you accepted I was ecstatic.
HBD, I promise to take care of you, Body, Mind and Soul, to be your Partner as well as
your Dom. My love for you growing daily will shelter you from the slings and arrows of the world.
We have transcended the original bond and my vow is still as strong as ever, but now there is even more.
We are partners, friends, lovers, confidants, and Dom/sub. All of these are complicated apart but together they make us whole.
I give you this ring as a symbol of my eternal love for you and as a reminder of my vigilance and dedication to you, and when the fates deem us worthy, my promise to make you my wife.
After we both spoke our vows we did a mini candle lighting ceremony, two lights merged into one. With a candle that would come back home with me so that every time I light it, I am reminded of these vows. Did I mention that this is the one and only time that I have taken my ring off? I took it off just long enough for the ceremony to work its magic, and for this amazing man to put it back on my finger, his hands my hands, together. The moment is one I will never forget.
A year from now, on that same date, we intend to make this official, so everyone send us your thoughts and prayers that we can both extract ourselves completely from our current situations by then.
r
Sunday, August 2, 2009
PAIN
Sir Sunday
From the Mind of Sir Die_Tryin.
PAIN
The topic today is pain, unfortunately not the good ecstasy kind of pain derived from a good and vigorous “play” session. The kind of pain I am referring to is the deep pain in a situation that has gone beyond your control and you feel helpless to protect or help the other party involved.
This weekend was one of those long painful sessions when HBD's SO was home, as the regular readers know his job keeps him on the road for extended periods of time, not long enough by either of our likings. A little background about HBD's SO, he is EX military, an abuser, mental and emotional at this point but has a distinct potential for the physical abuse, it has surfaced in little manifestations up until now. He is a large man over 6' tall and weighing in over 280 lbs while HBD is a petite thing at just over 5' and less than 140 lbs. She is defiantly fighting out of her weight class. He is a bully by nature and uses his size to intimidate HBD and others as a means to get his way, and like all bullies when you show indifference or defiance it pushes them to the physical.
The last two days have been unbearable for me, they were going to discuss the plans for their impending divorce and separation, the details of who gets what and who pays for what. All their phone calls on this topic have always ended with him screaming and threatening to turn off all the utilities and services to the house. You can see where my helplessness has kicked in, being 1600 miles away doesn't help. So now where the pain begins.
He came home Friday late and interrupted our normal evening chatting and communication, he was in a foul mood and already starting shit. His whole focus was to get a sexual "release" and attempted everything he could to get HBD to comply. HBD has told him in no uncertain terms that there will never be any kind of intimate contact between them ever again. She has told him this on many occasions since her intent to divorce has been made open. He continually runs the gambit from the light and joking “friends with benefits” to actual threats of “rape” and he even started the actions once hoping to scare her into it. Now we move forward a bit, to the last two weeks when he has been talking to a woman we all know who herself is in a lie of a marriage - forced into what she thinks is an “open marriage” in order to keep her husband (I might touch more on her in a later rant) We will call her Iris the whore, she is a actually a self-professed “swinger” along with her husband and has a personal beef with HBD and myself over some Internet drama on a web site we all frequent, (this would be how I know about Iris' proclivities? At one time she had made moves on me prior to HBD and I becoming a couple, this is just some of the internet drama) Now Iris the whore has taken an interest in HBD's SO and started him down the path of attempting to “force” HBD into an “Open marriage” like her own. HBD has no desire to participate in this with him and has told him he is free to do whatever or whoever he wants she does not care what he does and do not care to know anything about it. He is intent on going out to Iris the whore on his way through her town this week, in fact, the bulk of today was spent with him talking to Iris the whore while HBD was sitting a mere foot away and he the whole time he was alluding to his plans with Iris the whore. When the topic of if or when HBD finds someone to be intimate with, he interjects that she cannot have anyone unless she gives him a piece of herself first and he will continue to “have her until the divorce is final”. WTF this guy is a fucking tool, he then goes on to whine to HBD that he wants her to help him find lovers for him, (OMG is this asshole for real?) Now before I get sounding all holier than thou and like a sanctimonious prick. He really thinks he is going to make it impossible for HBD to leave by his actions as well as by mentally and emotionally beating her into thinking she can't survive without him, then go on the road and fuck anything he wants and come home to have her service him and she is supposed to just accept it? All he seems to want at this point from HBD is a hole to get off in. Again WTF!!!!! When will this jackass get a clue and realize that Don't touch me means just that DON'T TOUCH ME! And that he will never have intimate relations with her again. Separated means they are done. Even if he does want to work things out like he still says he wants to, you don't go OPENLY flaunting your plans to bed a whore in front of the woman you claim to want to fix things with.
I've gotten a bit off topic so now will touch a bit more on the pain, knowing his potential for violence and that his one driving focus is his penis, as well as his mental instability, every moment there is no contact with HBD sends me to dark places, is she OK, mentally, physically, emotionally. Has he beat her self esteem down to the point that she has given up her resolve to end things between them, has she withdrawn from thinking about leaving him, is she contemplating ending us. This thought is almost too much to bear, too much for my soul to take, I have made a vow to her to always protect her and nurture her and be her partner. I feel bad for feeling so weak, for allowing myself to be overtaken by these emotions, I know that HBD is devoted to me, I know she loves me, and I know she wants us. I pray he gets a clue soon and gives up before it gets ugly.
Until then all I can do is continue to be here for HBD and untangle my own situation, to work on getting us together, forever and a day
I love you Babydoll, and can't imagine a life without you, just be strong.
~DT (with edits from HBD)
A brief note from HBD
I have read this blog post more than once and edited it slightly for content. DT speaks for me, my thoughts, my fears, my feelings, my wants, and desires. These are things he is fully aware of, we have no secrets and are completely honest with each other. So, when he said that I have told my SO there will be no intimate contact, he has heard this straight from me, and it is the pure and simple truth.
I love this man Die_Tryin, he is everything that I have ever looked for in a man, things I didn't know I needed to feel complete. We are a perfect fit, made from complementary molds. I will be with him, forever...and a day.
OH, and don't forget to run over to my Tumblr page!!
Friday, July 31, 2009
Face to Face
I'm looking at this weekend and just know that it will be a horrid time for Die_Tryin and myself. His SO is a basket-case, she's seeing hope where there is none, looking to god for help, and in the next breath, she is ready to kick him out and show him just what it is that she's made of. On top of that, my SO will be home for the weekend. I'd be a liar if I said I'm not afraid. I am, he's been too nice, too "thoughtful", I suspect that his anger is building inside just waiting for the moment he comes home and I make him mad. Time will tell...
So, I thought I would take a moment to talk about SEX. More specifically the sex that took place between DT and me, when we met for the first time. However, as I've written this its turned into something else.
We've known each other since January, been serious about each other since April. But we had never met face to face. Hours of chatting, and phone calls...webcams and hot phone sex...but to stand before each other stripped down and bare under the harsh light of day. How awkward would this moment be? Would we be shy and hesitant? embarrassed? frightened? Would he run away when he saw my C-section scar, the stretch marks from 4 pregnancies, my less than perky breasts? Would he be repulsed by my chubby arms and soft tummy?
Really I've never been a hard body, I'm short and have a fairly large bone structure, my feet are too big, my fingers are long, my breasts are large, my butt a bit too big. I've always been soft and had curves. Hell, my ob/gyn told me at 18 that I had the perfect hips for carrying babies. My image of myself is less than attractive, not ugly or fat. But chubby and plain. How was this going to work? How could I take my clothes off in front of this man I had never met?
From the mind of Sir Die_Tryin.
Today my lover HBD asked me to write some specific thoughts on our first meeting, so without further stalling here it goes, Raw live and uncut (well-edited just a bit for spelling).
It is Monday morning I am headed for my normal daily work routine that consists of a call to HBD on my way to the office. But today is different I am not headed back to the place where I live, instead, I am going to catch a flight to Denver to have my first in-person meeting with HBD. The day was a busy day at work like most before any kind of trip, my employers only know I'll be back Friday it is “personal travel” and none of their business. So the day ends and I have a 7:00 pm flight, good thing the airport is only 15 minutes away. I check my itinerary and realize in a moment of almost panic that I only have a travel agency reservation number and not the airline confirmation number, so no early check-in for me, 30 minutes wasted. I leave work and call HBD, she is in route to the Hotel we talk to the parking service and the shuttle ride and then to the ticket counter, turns out my panic was not needed. Now I am a fairly regular traveler I should have known this, this is the first clue I am getting nervous. I get my boarding pass and head for the security checkpoint, HBD and I say goodbye for a couple of minutes until I clear security and am headed to my gate, I realize I am feeling a little anxious but chalk it up to the plane saying departing on time in 20 minutes but no plane at the gate. I am chatting with HBD we are keeping the conversation light as I am having to pay attention to the announcements. Finally, time to board, I jump in the line and get to my seat, and finish talking with HBD, at this point the flight is leaving 20 minutes late but expecting to be in early by 30 minutes (go figure). I am now alone with my thoughts, I am now thinking about our first meeting, how I want and hope it will go, we both know what the other looks like, so the physical is out of the way, or is it? Now the “what if's” start to invade my mind, What if she doesn't show up, what if she can't stand me, what if we don't “work” in person. The flight is full I try to rest but I can't the jackass next to me is snoring and trying to molest my shoulder so I am having to be on edge for my shoulders virtue. We land at the connector airport, again I call HBD, she is in Denver and getting ready for me, fears are subsiding, I have 20 minutes to boarding and have to go to the end of a different terminal, I call HBD and do my best impression of an Olympic speed walker to get to the next gate, the pace occupies my brain and lets me quiet the fears.
On to the next leg, another full flight, another snoring middle seat passenger the difference is this one prefers to lean to the isle, whew, at least I can be as comfortable as a 6.0' tall big man can be outside of 1st class. I manage to read and listen to the MP3 player for a bit, as we come in on final approach there is a vicious thunderstorm brewing as we fly in. stuck on the ground, all operations suspended due to lightning strikes near the Airport, we are 300 feet from deplaning, and stuck waiting.
Cell phones are allowed, I call HBD, she sounds frantic and in the car, my first thought is she isn't coming to meet me, she is headed home, then she says the roads are bad and she is headed to the airport. So after about 30 minutes they let us off the plane, HBD is just parking, so I am wandering the airport and talking to her,
Now if you go back to the “Sir Sunday” from the Sunday before "Waiting is the hardest part”, you will see my vision of our first touch and kiss, no I will tell you it went similar to that vision, I saw her as she came up the escalator she didn't see me I was awestruck at her beauty, her grace as she walked to the directory sign and instructed her to read some of it to me. As I drew closer I got a whiff of her perfume, it was heavenly, I quietly set my bags down as I wrapped her up in my arms and whispered in her ear “I'm here Babydoll”. I felt her trembling slightly as I held her and enjoyed the feel of our first touch, I kissed her neck and then I spun her to hug her and kiss her properly, and what a kiss it was. I know in reality the Kiss was only a brief moment, but it seemed to last a lifetime, A perfect lifetime, we kissed like familiar lovers with more knowledge than we should have had for a first meeting. After we finished that first kiss we kissed again and again, like two love drunk teenagers. I have to tell you all the first meeting was beyond my wildest dreams and expectations. Eventually, we will get to more of the emotions around our more intimate encounters.
~DT
Well, let me just say that he didn't run, he took me in his arms, he held me...he loved me. The sex was tender and loving, slow and easy everything I needed and had never had. There wasn't a moment of discomfort, no embarrassment, no awkward moments, I wasn't shy and I never tried to hide my perceived flaws from him. His touch, his kisses, and the way he possessed my body all left me feeling cherished, and yes beautiful. Me??? Beautiful??? How is that possible?
I'm sure you are dying to know how I saw my Sir the first time. I saw his eyes the way they looked at me, and the love that was waiting there. His smile, when he made me laugh. when he leaned in to kiss me. His broad shoulders that were there for me to lean on, and the chest between them where I rested my head...safe....listening to his heartbeat in time with mine. His arms, strong and sure, they held me close and sheltered me. Then his hands, these are the hands of a man that works with them, well worn from days of working, the touch tender, but firm, soft, but possessive, they owned my body. His legs, muscular and able to stand tall in the roughest storm. His sexy ass, the one I couldn't resist touching, grabbing, kissing. And yes his cock, long and hard, thick and throbbing. Wanting me, there was no doubt this man wanted me. Just as there was no doubt that this man loved me, cherished me, and found me beautiful.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
HNT - From Denver
Click Click Click!! woohoo I figured out how to click through
This week HNT is a from our recent trip to Denver to meet the first time. It was an amazing trip dressed and not. LOL
Stopover and visit Osbasso and all of the other wonderful folks on HNT this week!!
Bragging rights...A tale from our meeting
You know I adore oral sex. Giving and receiving, so I'll admit I was a bit shocked when my Sir confessed that only two other women had ever managed to suck him off until he came. How could this be? Sure, he's larger than the average man below the belt, and yes I understand that his need to please his partner does cause him to hold back his own pleasure. So, when he said that no one had really wanted to be bothered taking the time I knew that I had to take this as a challenge. I WAS going to give him a mind-blowing blow job, and I was going to make him cum, and on top of that, I WAS going to swallow. Something that no one had ever done for him. Was my poor Dom missing out or what?
This brings us to the next installment in our tale.
Die_Tryin and I were finally back to the hotel. I allowed him to drive because let's be honest I was so absorbed in touching him I'd never have been able to stay on the road! We get to the hotel, he gets the door for me, the elevator door, and the room door. Always the gentleman. Once in the door, he kissed me, arms tightly around each other, lips locked to one another, hands exploring. Minutes tick by and we finally end up completely in the room. I'll be honest I don't remember how my dress left my body, I just remember his lips, his hands, his taste, the feel of his body against me. And let's not forget the fact that I was totally lost in the high of finally being with him and how simply comfortable I was with him.
Finally, it was time, for me to take my bragging rights. I went to put on lipstick, mmm, the goal was to leave a lipstick ring on his cock so we could see just how much I could take. Well, that was forgotten shortly after I came back to the room. While I was gone, DT removed his pants and sat on the loveseat waiting for me.
In a short moment, I was back kissed him softly and proceeded to ask permission to suck his cock. Yes, I was the good little sub at that point. When he assented I slipped down on to the floor on to my knees in front of him, and began to work his cock slowly, with my hands, and then my tongue tasting him. Feeling the throbbing heat of him in my mouth was all that I needed to drive me on, hungrily sucking on his cock, loving it with my tongue. Adding the stroking of my hand on his shaft to meet my lips. But it was him, the sound of his pleasure, the sound of his approval that really turned me on. I wanted him, I wanted to feel him inside me, but I was not about to stop before he came in my mouth.
I have to admit that I was perfectly content there on the floor on my knees in front of the man I call Sir. I've never felt that kneeling was something I had to have to make me feel submissive. But I will not deny that I was very turned on by it. Not just then but at other times as well. I don't know what I'll do with this realization, I know that DT doesn't require it. I think he prefers that I don't. But some times, I think.....anyway back to the topic at hand.
It wasn't long before I felt his sack tighten and his cock begin to twitch, and then he told me it was coming...that he was going to cum. And I didn't pull away, I couldn't I wanted to taste him I wanted his hot cum on my tongue. The ultimate reward for a job done well. It made this subs heart race to know I had succeeded in my goal. Then it happened the first shot hit the back of my throat and I groaned the vibrations of my sighing pleasure running down the length of my tongue as continued to fill my mouth. Swallowing quickly and loving the feel of his hands on me as I took him into me.
But what turned me on the most, was that he pulled me up and kissed me, the taste of his cum still on my lips. No man had done that to me before, it was always time to brush my teeth and clean up before they would consider it. Then he held me, we kissed we talked, we laughed, and the rest...well that's another post.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Sir Sunday An analogy of the building blocks of relationships
Hello again, it is Sunday and time for me to step on my soapbox in this little corner of the internet. We apologize for the little interruption of our daily blog Service but HBD was a little “tied up”, who the hell am I kidding she was “a lot tied up”,
After an incredible first “get away” with HBD, I was reflecting on the dynamics of our relationship and the parts that make it work when all the conventional wisdom tells us it shouldn't. We have the very deep trust, (the most important ingredient, more on this later) then we have the friendship, our commitment, our partnership, our confidant roles and last but not least our similar “lifestyle” kinks.
So as I was reflecting on this sitting in a coffee shop I started thinking of relationships as a whole and started likening them to the espresso beverages that people order. Let's start with some drinks, (and if I don't name your favorite I'm sorry). There is the “straight” espresso, the “shot” as it were, then there is the Cappuccino, Latte, Mocha, Macchiato, Ristretto, Americano, and the Lungo. What do all these drinks have in common you ask? They are all a relationship built on a single block of espresso.
What does this have to do with real relationships? Well, the Espresso is the “trust” in a relationship if you start with good, fresh roasted and properly ground espresso beans, then tamp the grounds into the “portafilter” and then use the proper combination of time, temperature and extraction you will have a perfect building block for the rest of your beverage relationship. Does this mean any one of these drinks is better than another? No that is all personal preference, like is a “vanilla” couple better than a “Poly” relationship? Or a D/s or an M/s? again no. They are just different and based on personal preferences. Now back to this building block of trust, trust is the most important part of any relationship. Similar to if you remove the espresso form a Latte you just have steamed milk.
As I watched the customers come and go and order their drinks, I noticed an interesting trend, a handful of people ordered a “cappuccino” and then proceeded to complain to the barista, where is the vanilla syrup, where is the chocolate? This makes me laugh a little bit as people will order things with familiar names even thought it is not what they want, or even desire something else. Very much like people who don't trust their prospective partner to be honest enough with their wants and desires. I too have been guilty of this in the past, but now with HBD we have laid everything out in the open, all wants, desires, fears, and issues as they arise, there is a true trust here. I am hoping that all of my (small group) of readers will get to experience this at least once in their lives.
This trust made for an incredible trip, there was never an awkward moment, we were completely comfortable in all situations, even spending most of the trip naked and in each other's arms. We both slept deeper than we have since we were children safe in the care of our or parents. Yes, we had earth-moving love making and hot and sweaty sex and everything in between. There were a couple of moments where HBD drifted off to “subspace” a feat I had not expected to bring out in our first meeting let alone twice! Again this is possible due to trust. I am quite sure HBD will fill in the details in later posts as I have already gone beyond what a gentleman should tell.
Thank you Babydoll for loving me, trusting me, and the gift of your submission to me.
~DT
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