I have to apologize for my absence the last few days. I'm just not in a good place mentally right now, and blogging has been so very far from my mind. Which is a very sad thing for me. I love blogging, I love getting my feelings out and sharing them with others, I feel like I've given up a part of me the last few days.
As most of you know Die_Tryin has been moving his SO from his coast home back to her parents in the midwest. Unfortunately, this is also causing me huge amounts of turmoil. I am at battle with myself. I know he loves me, wants me, needs me...as much as I do him. But I can't help but fall back into my doubts and insecurities that she will win this battle.
I can't sleep, so I'm physically exhausted, I can hardly eat I have no appetite, I'm stressed to the max leaving me emotionally exhausted as well. I have a headache that just won't go away and I'm fighting tears every time I hear his voice. I'm not the strong woman he thinks I am. I'm not the strong woman I think I am....I'm weak and emotional.
So, I find myself reaching back to our trip last month. Remembering the feel of his touch, the way his kisses taste....and getting lost again in the feel of his body possessing mine. Is this an odd way to find strength? Drawing his strength into me to get through the next 24 hours?
Babydoll, this has been a hard weekend on both of us physically, emotionally and mentally, like we talked about on the phone, had we not had these two weeks back to back we would have been better equipped to handle these .
ReplyDeleteI love you, I NEED you, and we will be together forever and a day.
~DT