One night down...

It really is the little things that keep me going. The last few nights have gone well, everything done on schedule and as planned, we even had time for a little talking before bed. Communication is the air I breathe with Die_tryin. Now, I will admit that it was all made better by the couple nights of fucking incredible sex. That man does know how to take care of me.

On another note, in dealing with the BDA. We had planned to file our taxes jointly because we would get more back. Right? Wrong, I get a hell of a lot more back by filing as Head of household. Woo hoo! So, I had to prep myself for battle with him over this. I didn't tell him that he would probably have to pay this year, nope, I chickened out on that part. I did, however, send him a text that said I would be filing separately. Much to my surprise, he was fine with it. He did ask if I would help with his when he finally gets his W-2. I said yes...I know I know, I should have said no. But I will admit I am still terrified of the man.




So, yes I did file his taxes for him. He sounded genuinely thankful. So, lets all just pray that it doesn't backfire on me.

a new start

After my last post, I spent quite a bit of time talking to Die_tryin. About us, and where we are, what we need, and how to get there. Our communication has been suffering because of being together. Having him in the house with me, so close, it's wonderful. I enjoy all our time together, even if it's just us sitting at our computers doing our own thing. Unfortunately, the deeper communication that we built our relationship on has fallen to the wayside.

I did give my collar to DT for safekeeping, I just do not feel in that state of mind right now. I have some things to work through, with DT and within myself. During our talk, DT admits to having had some blocks that cause him to hold back. And that has been an injustice to us both. I feel just as responsible for this as I've not been more open in my expectations.

We've agreed that we do want this lifestyle and that we will work to get back where we want to be.

In the days since that last post, I have seen a change in DT and that has brought about a change in me. The kids make spankings and other pain-inducing corrections out of the question. DT has decided that a few well-placed bites on my back that respond to pressure are in order. We've added a couple things to our nightly rituals that have brought me closer to him and my position in this life together.

I've put my whole heart into this, and I only hope that we are able to pull this off. I know it won't be easy, but I'm willing to give it a go...

wish us luck

The valentines debacle

How do you measure love? When you look at yourself and your partner what is the shape of your relationship?

Draw two lines one for you and one for your partner, what does it look like?   Does it look like two waves drifting apart and then coming back to each other? I've seen it many times couples that drift apart until the next big thing comes along. Like having a baby or buying a house.  The trouble is that once the thrill wears off they start to drift apart again.  And what happens when you run out of big things?

Or do the lines start together until one partner's line jumps up, to be followed by the other trying to keep up with the first partner's expectations?  This is that couple who always needs bigger and better to feel loved.  When the little gestures are no longer enough.  The man who was once happy a new set of golf clubs, now won't be happy without the new clubs, and a pull behind cart, next year that won't be enough either.  Where do they go when the money runs out or they hit the top of the line?

Or maybe you look at your line and its full of jagged jumps apart, explosive collisions,  and dramatic gaps where the lines vanish altogether.  These are the couples that thrive on conflict.  They start out as small tiffs that turn to fights, cheating, separation, or even abuse. Where do these lines end? Where do they go?

All of these couples have one thing in common,  a constant escalation.


I know there are many other lines, some work, some don't.  No two couples have the same lines.

So what does your line look like?

I know what I want mine to look like with die_tryin.....




This line starts out apart and has come together with little steps gradual movement, closer and closer. Until finally the line comes together and runs parallel, slowly lifting, growing, the lines become thicker and closer together, until finally, they are one line, still moving upwards together.

But how do I get there? what is it that brings us slowly closer, that makes us larger and more complete? It's not the new house, the new car, the baby. It's the little things. The text in the middle of the day when he just KNOWS that its been rough even without having heard from me. Its the nightly tuck in, with a kiss to my sweet spot and the kiss on the lips, and the directions to sleep sweet and dream of whatever thought he puts into my head. Its the small gestures, the card at Valentine's, the note that tells me how he feels about me, the poem he wrote because he thought of me. The way he always makes me coffee, how he just KNOWS when I need him to be rough, to beat me into a calmer state, or the way he knows that I need to be tied up and centered. The way he can tell when I simply need to be taken and left feeling used.

Now I'm seeing that my line is flawed because those little things aren't always there. Like the Valentine's Day debacle....he bought me a stuffed dog weeks before, and I was grateful, I love it. I use it as a pillow when I nap after work. Then we went out to dinner two nights before. It was an incredible meal at the Golf club, and I loved it. The food was good, we dressed up, and I felt like a Lady. But, the little things weren't there...no card, no note, no poem. And I was saddened by this.



Call me crazy, but I'd give up all the fancy dinners for the rest of my life, just for those little things.

I'm tired....I'm sick.....

Yes, you could say I'm sick and tired....literally.

I'm not sleeping well, not only because of this killer sore throat, difficulty breathing, and fits of lung crushing coughing. But on top of all that my head is spinning, full of thoughts and troubles that keep me awake no matter how hard I try to shut them down.

The foundation of my life with DT is open and honest communication. There is nothing we can't say to each other even if it hurts, we know that anything said is said with love, and the desire to be a strong and constantly growing couple. Here's the thing, sometimes you can say something raw, open, honest, lay your heart on the ground.....and still find that nothing changes. But it's still an issue, unresolved, and it hurts. A hurt so bad that it crawls inside you and begins to eat away at the one thing that makes you ....you. The only way to make the hurt go away is to talk about it. To tell him again what hurts, and why it hurts, even when you know that it's not going to change. Which hurts worse?? Talking about it and being hurt by the one you love and trust the most, or holding in and letting it eat away at you?

Right now, I've decided to just let it eat away at me...I'd rather hurt myself than be hurt by him.

Now, if I could only sleep........

Wed play time

He tied me to the desk...

a big double desk, circa 1950. Facedown, arms over my head legs spread wide, standing on my toes, vulnerable. And I needed it.

Moreover, I wanted it...I couldn't get enough.

When he pulled out the flogger, I felt a tingle start, when he went to the belt I was on fire. He used me, and there was nothing I could do about it. He humiliated me, I ached for more, and I got it. I got it until I couldn't take any more.

Then we stopped to eat. I love to cook for him, it pleases me to know that he loves my cooking. But enough with that, we were back to the desk. Where once more he tied me down, and proceeded to use me again, and again, face down, face up. With his hands, his cock, with the rabbit, with the Hitachi...oh yes, it was amazing.

And I can't wait for it to happen again.

Been too long... and HNT

I started this blog for my Sir Die_Tryin. As a way to document our journey together, the ups, the downs, and everything in between. I've been horribly remiss in keeping up with it. The thing is, I have had such a rough and ugly time recently that I don't want to be one of THOSE blogs that everyone avoids because it's always about the struggle. But isn't that doing him an injustice? So I'm posting today, and hoping that you all stop by again and keep me motivated to tell our story.

Because I love this man, and I want to do right by him....and you my followers.


- HBD

oh did I mention its HNT!!!






don't forget to stop by osbasso's and see all the rest of the HNT goodness!

10 days.....

Friday morning I got up at the crack of dawn...ok several hours before dawn actually. I got up, loaded myself into the car and headed for the airport where I managed to find my way through security and to the gate.

Seat assignment? center. UGH no thanks, what can I do. hmmm, they have one seat open on the isle, but its a bulkhead seat. Oh hell, I have small luggage lets go for it! I took the seat and I tell you it was the best I could have asked for. The bulkhead wall ended just before my seat, so it was almost like sitting in first class, I could stretch my legs out and relax for the flight.

It was a long 4 hours, full of turbulence but every minute that ticked by brought me closer and closer to my sir.

We arrived at the gate and had to sit on the runway waiting for another plane to vacate our gate. This was just the delay that we needed to give DT the time he needed to get a parking spot and into the terminal to pick me and my luggage up.

I can't tell you how amazing it was to see his smiling face when I came downstairs to pick up my luggage. His smile was the only thing I saw. His eyes second, the pure unadulterated love in his face consumed me. I was HOME. With my sir....did I mention, he brought me ROSES!!! No one has ever given me flowers before, and he brought me ROSES!!!

He worries....about me

When I was a little girl I knew exactly what kind of man I was going to marry. He was kind and loving, gentle, but in control, he cherished me, worried about me, a little jealous and possessive and because of this I wanted nothing more than to serve him and make him happy. Now, I look back and see the lifestyle hints back then but never realized just where that came from.



What I've found myself married to. TWICE, are men who are controlling, demeaning, hateful, spiteful, lazy, and abusive. So, with them both I shut down, there was no happiness in my life. I went on day by day, I gave up. To the point of letting myself and my home go to waste. I retreated into the worthless heap of nothingness that they made me believe I was. This month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Not something I came here with the intent of talking about but in reading posts from several wonderful bloggers like Britni I've been forced to look at my life, where I have been and where I am now, and with that came the harsh realization that my current husband is a classic abuser. As was my Ex. Not something you want to have to admit to yourself.





But that's not why I'm here today. That's something I am still working with and dealing with, one day I'll be back to discuss that in more detail. Today I'm here to relish another man in my life. The Man I dreamt of as a child. He's not perfect, no far from it honestly. But he loves me, completely. His kinks match mine. We see our lifestyle in a similar light and only want to watch it grow and shape itself into something just for us. He worries about me if he doesn't hear from me and he should have if he knows my FX is home or close to it. He has said several times that he loves me so much that he cannot imagine our life together being so short-lived. So, he keeps me cautious and warns me of potential dangers, he reminds me to stay safe and securely grounded when the FX is home. He has a green streak, that is cute it reminds me that I am his and only his and that he cares enough about me to give me that little bit of jealousy to make me feel good. He is possessive of me...but not in the abusive controlling way. He claims me as his, he loves me like no other and makes me feel wanted and desired. This man has given me all that I could ask for...right along with his imperfections. He's a geek, he's a kid at heart, he worries and stresses, not to mention married to someone else...sigh.

The funny thing is that he tells me he worries, that he doesn't want anything to happen to me. And I don't know what to say. No one has ever felt that way before about me, or if they have they never felt I needed to hear it. So, what do I do, I get embarrassed, I blush, I tell him not to worry. I tell him to stop doing all those things that I've been looking for, all the things I've always wanted....the things that make him...HIM. What am I thinking????





Thank you, lover, for letting me concede gracefully.

I love you Sir

HNT - teasing me

My Sir loves me and he loves to tease me....with a package like that. He has just what it takes to get my motor running.

Thank you, Sir.



don't forget to stop by osbasso's and see all the rest of the HNT goodness!

as directed....

Last night I was feeling very empty and broken. Just a shell of myself, emotionally exhausted by the roller coaster I call my life and physically worn out by the work I've been doing.

Right now my communication time with DT has been limited by my FX, discretion is his buzz word so he asks that I don't talk to DT when the kids are up or around. Which sounds reasonable right? Until you realize that he keeps the phone tied up himself after the girls are out for the night, or while I'm in the car and away from them, further cutting into my time with DT. But I digress...

Last night...I was so tired that DT sent me to bed early. It hurt me to hang up, to shut down and go to sleep. In essence, I was taking away my time with him myself. And it bothered me. Knowing this to be true DT put on his Dom cap and sent me to bed with instructions to sleep well, dream of him, and to come back this morning and write about one of those dreamed of moments when we are together and things are good.


So, here goes.

The moment was quiet, peaceful, loving...

The sun was coming in the windows of a bedroom I've never seen before, the bed was HUGE piled high with pillows and warm down blankets. And burrowed deep in its depths was DT, and me. Curled up around each other, talking about our lives, how we got to this place. Where we wanted to go from there, and just enjoying the feeling of being together.

We kissed and cuddled, talked and laughed. It was comfortable, easy, and so very very right.

Its flashes and images like this that pull me through the days, toward my goal. Thank you, Sir, for making me look at them more closely when I needed it most.

The Demons you don't know

I keep looking at my current situation, its a train wreck.

I love Die_tryin, with all my heart, but what it is he sees in me I'll never know. I don't really want to know either, those things those mysteries are his to keep. They make me love myself, simply out of respect for his love for me. Is that odd? Does that mean I'm too dependent on him?

Moreover, how did I get to be like this? How is it that I have allowed myself to become so weak that anyone who comes along can see that flaw and beat me into submission (and not the submission I crave). Looking at my FX and my EX I see that they both have beaten and abused me, mentally, emotionally, and yes to a point physically. I have crawled into a shell and retreated from the woman I should be. What about me has made this possible? Was it just a bad choice in men? Or is it a deep-seated flaw in my personality that makes me the eternal victim. I feel weak, broken, and substandard.

How will I move on? Divorce is in my future, not because of DT, but because I need to salvage what little is left of me. DT is a wonderful man, who loves me, and who I love completely. What happens between us is separate from me leaving my FX. But how do I find the strength and security I need to leave the one place I know, the one place where everything is predictable. How do I walk away from that into a world I don't know, one that is full of change and unknown demons? Sometimes the demons you know are worse than the ones you don't.


I'm scared, that I'm not ready..........that I can't do this.

Its just that deep...

The move is upon us. That means that my time with DT is very limited right now, and I have to say I'm not sure which one of us is struggling more. It's been months since he has slept with her, in the same room much less the same bed. Knowing that he is sleeping in a separate room, in a bed alone has helped me to get past the fact that he goes home to her every night.

Its been almost a month since I got to sleep in the same bed with my Sir, and now I know that he will be forced to sleep in the same hotel room with her Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday night in the same room at her parent's house. And this thought is ripping my heart out. But DT knows me and knows my insecurities, so he has reserved a room with not one bed, but TWO! Because he knows this would make me feel more comfortable with the situation. This man is amazing and has done so much to keep me sane. But I never feel like I do enough for him.

Because of that, I don't ask him for things, but today I found myself in the position of asking him for something. Something small, and petty, but that I needed to feel better about us. To be more secure in our path. I asked him to leave his wedding ring at his in-law's house with his SO. A little background, when his SO found out about us, he quit wearing his ring. She has told people that he isn't wearing it because of weight gain, that it's uncomfortable. I guess this helps her get through the day knowing people don't know the truth behind it. She had asked him to wear the ring at her parent's house, to put on a show for her parents so they don't think she failed. The thought of him putting that ring back on has me feeling caged, unable to breathe and ready to run. Why? I'm still working that through my mind.



Today she has been almost bi-polar in her attitudes towards the ring. Wear it please, never mind it means more to me than to you, then oh I'm sorry I was just upset. I can't stand this. I do NOT want that ring back on him. Damn it he is MINE. So, where does it stand? I don't know I suspect that he'll wear it back there. But I also believe that he will do what I asked and leave it there. He is saying he'll leave it as a last-minute thing just to avoid her slipping it back in his bag before he leaves. And there I struggle again because I know him and I'm afraid that things will be rushed and crazy before he leaves, thus leaving and flying back home wearing HER ring.



This is petty and childish, but it means more to me than even I'm willing to admit.

Face to Face

I'm looking at this weekend and just know that it will be a horrid time for Die_Tryin and myself. His SO is a basket-case, she's seeing hope where there is none, looking to god for help, and in the next breath, she is ready to kick him out and show him just what it is that she's made of. On top of that, my SO will be home for the weekend. I'd be a liar if I said I'm not afraid. I am, he's been too nice, too "thoughtful", I suspect that his anger is building inside just waiting for the moment he comes home and I make him mad. Time will tell...

So, I thought I would take a moment to talk about SEX. More specifically the sex that took place between DT and me, when we met for the first time. However, as I've written this its turned into something else.



We've known each other since January, been serious about each other since April. But we had never met face to face. Hours of chatting, and phone calls...webcams and hot phone sex...but to stand before each other stripped down and bare under the harsh light of day. How awkward would this moment be? Would we be shy and hesitant? embarrassed? frightened? Would he run away when he saw my C-section scar, the stretch marks from 4 pregnancies, my less than perky breasts? Would he be repulsed by my chubby arms and soft tummy?

Really I've never been a hard body, I'm short and have a fairly large bone structure, my feet are too big, my fingers are long, my breasts are large, my butt a bit too big. I've always been soft and had curves. Hell, my ob/gyn told me at 18 that I had the perfect hips for carrying babies. My image of myself is less than attractive, not ugly or fat. But chubby and plain. How was this going to work? How could I take my clothes off in front of this man I had never met?


From the mind of Sir Die_Tryin.


Today my lover HBD asked me to write some specific thoughts on our first meeting, so without further stalling here it goes, Raw live and uncut (well-edited just a bit for spelling).

It is Monday morning I am headed for my normal daily work routine that consists of a call to HBD on my way to the office. But today is different I am not headed back to the place where I live, instead, I am going to catch a flight to Denver to have my first in-person meeting with HBD. The day was a busy day at work like most before any kind of trip, my employers only know I'll be back Friday it is “personal travel” and none of their business. So the day ends and I have a 7:00 pm flight, good thing the airport is only 15 minutes away. I check my itinerary and realize in a moment of almost panic that I only have a travel agency reservation number and not the airline confirmation number, so no early check-in for me, 30 minutes wasted. I leave work and call HBD, she is in route to the Hotel we talk to the parking service and the shuttle ride and then to the ticket counter, turns out my panic was not needed. Now I am a fairly regular traveler I should have known this, this is the first clue I am getting nervous. I get my boarding pass and head for the security checkpoint, HBD and I say goodbye for a couple of minutes until I clear security and am headed to my gate, I realize I am feeling a little anxious but chalk it up to the plane saying departing on time in 20 minutes but no plane at the gate. I am chatting with HBD we are keeping the conversation light as I am having to pay attention to the announcements. Finally, time to board, I jump in the line and get to my seat, and finish talking with HBD, at this point the flight is leaving 20 minutes late but expecting to be in early by 30 minutes (go figure). I am now alone with my thoughts, I am now thinking about our first meeting, how I want and hope it will go, we both know what the other looks like, so the physical is out of the way, or is it? Now the “what if's” start to invade my mind, What if she doesn't show up, what if she can't stand me, what if we don't “work” in person. The flight is full I try to rest but I can't the jackass next to me is snoring and trying to molest my shoulder so I am having to be on edge for my shoulders virtue. We land at the connector airport, again I call HBD, she is in Denver and getting ready for me, fears are subsiding, I have 20 minutes to boarding and have to go to the end of a different terminal, I call HBD and do my best impression of an Olympic speed walker to get to the next gate, the pace occupies my brain and lets me quiet the fears.

On to the next leg, another full flight, another snoring middle seat passenger the difference is this one prefers to lean to the isle, whew, at least I can be as comfortable as a 6.0' tall big man can be outside of 1st class. I manage to read and listen to the MP3 player for a bit, as we come in on final approach there is a vicious thunderstorm brewing as we fly in. stuck on the ground, all operations suspended due to lightning strikes near the Airport, we are 300 feet from deplaning, and stuck waiting.

Cell phones are allowed, I call HBD, she sounds frantic and in the car, my first thought is she isn't coming to meet me, she is headed home, then she says the roads are bad and she is headed to the airport. So after about 30 minutes they let us off the plane, HBD is just parking, so I am wandering the airport and talking to her,

Now if you go back to the “Sir Sunday” from the Sunday before "Waiting is the hardest part”, you will see my vision of our first touch and kiss, no I will tell you it went similar to that vision, I saw her as she came up the escalator she didn't see me I was awestruck at her beauty, her grace as she walked to the directory sign and instructed her to read some of it to me. As I drew closer I got a whiff of her perfume, it was heavenly, I quietly set my bags down as I wrapped her up in my arms and whispered in her ear “I'm here Babydoll”. I felt her trembling slightly as I held her and enjoyed the feel of our first touch, I kissed her neck and then I spun her to hug her and kiss her properly, and what a kiss it was. I know in reality the Kiss was only a brief moment, but it seemed to last a lifetime, A perfect lifetime, we kissed like familiar lovers with more knowledge than we should have had for a first meeting. After we finished that first kiss we kissed again and again, like two love drunk teenagers. I have to tell you all the first meeting was beyond my wildest dreams and expectations. Eventually, we will get to more of the emotions around our more intimate encounters.


~DT



Well, let me just say that he didn't run, he took me in his arms, he held me...he loved me. The sex was tender and loving, slow and easy everything I needed and had never had. There wasn't a moment of discomfort, no embarrassment, no awkward moments, I wasn't shy and I never tried to hide my perceived flaws from him. His touch, his kisses, and the way he possessed my body all left me feeling cherished, and yes beautiful. Me??? Beautiful??? How is that possible?

I'm sure you are dying to know how I saw my Sir the first time. I saw his eyes the way they looked at me, and the love that was waiting there. His smile, when he made me laugh. when he leaned in to kiss me. His broad shoulders that were there for me to lean on, and the chest between them where I rested my head...safe....listening to his heartbeat in time with mine. His arms, strong and sure, they held me close and sheltered me. Then his hands, these are the hands of a man that works with them, well worn from days of working, the touch tender, but firm, soft, but possessive, they owned my body. His legs, muscular and able to stand tall in the roughest storm. His sexy ass, the one I couldn't resist touching, grabbing, kissing. And yes his cock, long and hard, thick and throbbing. Wanting me, there was no doubt this man wanted me. Just as there was no doubt that this man loved me, cherished me, and found me beautiful.

Bragging rights...A tale from our meeting

You know I adore oral sex. Giving and receiving, so I'll admit I was a bit shocked when my Sir confessed that only two other women had ever managed to suck him off until he came. How could this be? Sure, he's larger than the average man below the belt, and yes I understand that his need to please his partner does cause him to hold back his own pleasure. So, when he said that no one had really wanted to be bothered taking the time I knew that I had to take this as a challenge. I WAS going to give him a mind-blowing blow job, and I was going to make him cum, and on top of that, I WAS going to swallow. Something that no one had ever done for him. Was my poor Dom missing out or what?

This brings us to the next installment in our tale.

Die_Tryin and I were finally back to the hotel. I allowed him to drive because let's be honest I was so absorbed in touching him I'd never have been able to stay on the road! We get to the hotel, he gets the door for me, the elevator door, and the room door. Always the gentleman. Once in the door, he kissed me, arms tightly around each other, lips locked to one another, hands exploring. Minutes tick by and we finally end up completely in the room. I'll be honest I don't remember how my dress left my body, I just remember his lips, his hands, his taste, the feel of his body against me. And let's not forget the fact that I was totally lost in the high of finally being with him and how simply comfortable I was with him.

Finally, it was time, for me to take my bragging rights. I went to put on lipstick, mmm, the goal was to leave a lipstick ring on his cock so we could see just how much I could take. Well, that was forgotten shortly after I came back to the room. While I was gone, DT removed his pants and sat on the loveseat waiting for me.

In a short moment, I was back kissed him softly and proceeded to ask permission to suck his cock. Yes, I was the good little sub at that point. When he assented I slipped down on to the floor on to my knees in front of him, and began to work his cock slowly, with my hands, and then my tongue tasting him. Feeling the throbbing heat of him in my mouth was all that I needed to drive me on, hungrily sucking on his cock, loving it with my tongue. Adding the stroking of my hand on his shaft to meet my lips. But it was him, the sound of his pleasure, the sound of his approval that really turned me on. I wanted him, I wanted to feel him inside me, but I was not about to stop before he came in my mouth.

I have to admit that I was perfectly content there on the floor on my knees in front of the man I call Sir. I've never felt that kneeling was something I had to have to make me feel submissive. But I will not deny that I was very turned on by it. Not just then but at other times as well. I don't know what I'll do with this realization, I know that DT doesn't require it. I think he prefers that I don't. But some times, I think.....anyway back to the topic at hand.

It wasn't long before I felt his sack tighten and his cock begin to twitch, and then he told me it was coming...that he was going to cum. And I didn't pull away, I couldn't I wanted to taste him I wanted his hot cum on my tongue. The ultimate reward for a job done well. It made this subs heart race to know I had succeeded in my goal. Then it happened the first shot hit the back of my throat and I groaned the vibrations of my sighing pleasure running down the length of my tongue as continued to fill my mouth. Swallowing quickly and loving the feel of his hands on me as I took him into me.

But what turned me on the most, was that he pulled me up and kissed me, the taste of his cum still on my lips. No man had done that to me before, it was always time to brush my teeth and clean up before they would consider it. Then he held me, we kissed we talked, we laughed, and the rest...well that's another post.

Where to start....

Well, I've been back a couple days now. Die_Tryin is back at home, and life should return to normal right???? RIGHT????

WHAT it'll never be normal again? sigh...you're right nothing will ever be "normal" for this sub or her Dom again. Why? well if you've been following us any length of time you know that DT and I had our first (with many more to come) face to face visits this week. That time together has changed us, molded us, and sealed our fates. We cannot continue in the path we were on, the only path is the one towards each other.

DT came in, and a storm blew in just as I had to take off to get him. Of course, the amount of traffic and the vast quantity of water on the roads slowed me down and I was late. I have to tell you I was nearly in tears talking to him on my way to the airport I knew that he had to be disappointed that I wasn't there. Luckily his plane was held on the runway due to lightning and I wasn't very late at all. I found my way to the terminal and found a landmark that he knew he could find. And I waited, feeling silly as I read the directory to him. Then..yes that's when I saw someone behind me, bend over to put down a bag, and I knew it was him. He wrapped his arms around me pulling me back against him. Those strong arms holding me close were all I needed to finally relax. My Dom was there, with me, and he was holding me. I could have cried. He loosened his grip and turned me to face him, and that is where I got the kiss....that first kiss. It was everything I had hoped for and more.

When it comes to that kiss I have to tell you all that I warned him beforehand that while I never measure him against the men in my past at this moment I would, because I met my SO at the airport the first time as well. Now, let me tell you all, that the meeting with my SO and that kiss couldn't have been farther from my mind. In fact, it was just as I started writing this that I remembered it. For the record, my Sir has these lips that just beg to be kissed, and does he know how to use them!!!!!!

I had to find a bathroom at this point and he led me off to the restrooms. Kissing, touching, laughing, talking....loving being together. I came back out, kissed him for all I thought I was worth, and we headed back off to the car. It was several minutes of us laughing, kissing, and just being amazed that we were together finally. We got to the car and I handed him my keys, we put his bags in the car and it started to rain. He opened my door for me - Ladies this is a true gentleman - and we stood there, neither one of us caring about the rain kissing again, feeling the others touch not wanting to part but knowing what awaited us.

Yes, I let him drive us back to the hotel. This was no small feat for me. I do not trust people to drive with me in the car, even my SO who is an over the road truck driver, I panic I back seat drive, I panic! But with my Sir, I was relaxed and gave up control of the car freely. That was one of many moments that clarified my trust for this man. The one I have given my heart, soul, and now body to.

I have so many things to say about this trip, I'm sure they'll keep me writing for WEEKS!!

Sir Sunday 7-19-09 Waiting is the Hardest Part

Sir Sunday

7-19-09

Waiting is the Hardest Part



To all the music lovers I apologize to you I do not have the voice of our friend Pure Epiphany (be sure to visit her at The Fallacy of Epiphany, unfortunately, you will need to read German) So I will spare you the rendition of me singing “Waiting is the hardest part” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
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Tom Petty - The Waiting Lyrics @ LyricsTime.com

Originally I was going to post about what I was going to do when I first meet HBD at the airport, but that has fallen away from my thoughts and I will touch on that later. I have moved to thinking about the future and where we are headed, our situations and circumstances are moving faster than we ever imagined when we first started “playing” as a pair of good friends. She has a roller coaster ride of emotions from her SO and I do too, there is at least one if not 2 moves on the horizon for us in the next 45 days. So with reality looming and life-changing, we are meeting each other for the first time in person, I have no doubts this will be the largest event in either of our lives. When the trip was booked we were so ecstatic and wondering if we could survive the wait, and now in the last 24 hours the waiting is almost unbearable, truly the waiting is the hardest part.

Now I am sure HBD has been fixating on our first meeting with all the usual thoughts and fears, she has shared them with me and I have shared mine with her, as regular readers know there are no secrets between us, it is a truly liberating feeling. So at her request, I am going to share my “vision” of our first meeting at the Airport. We have agreed to meet at a central “landmark” to facilitate ease of finding each other. So here it goes from the vision and mind of Die_Tryin.

As I debark the plane I power up my cell phone and dial the familiar phone number for HBD,. She answers in her sultry tones “Hello Lover, I am waiting for you”, I reply “Hello Love, I am headed to you now”, small talk continues as I clear the security checkpoint and take the escalator to get to the agreed meeting location, “I am going to hide and make you look for me” HBD taunts, showing her bratty side. “are you asking for a spanking later?” I ask, “Yes Sir” she replies. I have been scanning the crowd which is pretty thin due to the late hour. I know what she is wearing, we have discussed it for weeks now and even though I have never seen it I can still see it. I spot her, she has her back to me, arm across her stomach, and cell phone to her ear, I start walking a little quicker and start her talking on a topic that she can talk for a bit on. I approach quietly and as she finishes and asks “so where are you?” A whisper in her ear as I wrap her up in a hug from behind “right here lover”. I loosen my hug to allow her to spin in my arms and face me, we look into each other's eyes and with a smile, we kiss a long, slow, leave the world, kiss. Then we hug harder, then as we separate continue to hold hands, facing each other, speechless and smiling. After a couple of minutes we kiss again, and after we finish she says “ I thought you would never get here”.......... The rest is for later posts

~DT

A bet...

I wasn't sure what I wanted to blog tonight, but I finally came across an idea. One that has been at the height of my plans with Die_Tryin. It started nearly 3 months ago, when he threw out a comment, no a bet - and I took him up on it.

He bet me that he could make me cum and never touch my pussy, now I thought for sure that he would take the same route my SO would have taken. But then again my SO knows that I can come just from playing with my nipples. DT didn't know that so instead I let him run with it....here is how it went.





Die_Tryin says: I'll bet I could make you cum without even touching your pussy
His_Baby_Doll says: I know you could......lol.....I have a weakness. Now the question is how would you do it? and is it the same thing?.............intrigued here.
Die_Tryin says: I would have you sit naked ....on the edge of the bed....
Die_Tryin says: hands at your side
His_Baby_Doll says: k
Die_Tryin says: legs together...as to keep it proper... ;)
His_Baby_Doll says: lol, always
Die_Tryin says: I would start by blindfolding you




Die_Tryin says: then I would lean in and ever so gently kiss your left ear..... exhaling softly
His_Baby_Doll says: that's goosebumps right there
Die_Tryin says: then I would run the tip of my tongue along the outside of your ear
Die_Tryin says: and when I got to the lobe a gentle nibble
Die_Tryin says: then I would kiss down your shoulder to your elbow and to your hand
Die_Tryin says: I would kiss every finger and give a nibble to the tip of each one
His_Baby_Doll says: total tactile teasing, I like
Die_Tryin says: after I finished the left side ....I would repeat for the Right side from the fingertips to your Ear...ending with a warm exhale
Die_Tryin says: then I would take your hair and gather it up.... like a brush and sweep it around your neck and shoulders....telling you to leave your hands at your sides....
His_Baby_Doll says: at which time I've melted into a puddle already, gonna have to sit on my hands to behave.
Die_Tryin says: then I would let your hairbrush across the top of your breasts and if it reaches without too much hard pulling brushing your nipples ....first the left then the right
Die_Tryin says: *feel free to "play" if you want to or can*
] Die_Tryin says: then the hair is brushed back over your shoulder..... I am standing in front of you fully clothed... I lean in and gently touch the tip of my tongue to your lips...gently tracing them
His_Baby_Doll says: oh my
Die_Tryin says: then I kiss your chin....and I go down lower exhaling and place my tongue on your nipple.......the right one....it is already stiff from the brushing..... I take the nipple in my lips and suck gently at first ...then a little harder...my lips on your nipple the only point of contact between us...
Die_Tryin says: I roll the nipple between my upper lip and my lower teeth ...side to side slowly
Die_Tryin says: gripping a little tighter with each transit....
Die_Tryin says: then I capture your nipple with my teeth and work the tip with my tongue..like a little punching bag....
His_Baby_Doll says: don't let me forget to breathe
Die_Tryin says: I release your nipple and stand up
Die_Tryin says: I take your hand and place it on the still slick nipple and tell you to pinch and hold it ....as hard as you can stand



His_Baby_Doll says: mmmmm, found my weak spot
Die_Tryin says: I take your other hand and bring it up to the bulge in my pants and let you feel my clothed fully engorged cock
Die_Tryin says: then put the hand back down......
His_Baby_Doll says: very nice
Die_Tryin says: now I sit on the bed next to you on your left side....I put an arm around your shoulder and turn you towards me so I can kiss you .....deeply and passionately......my other hand finds your left breast and roughly grabs the whole breast.....
Die_Tryin says: as I start to squeeze I notice you have stopped playing with your nipple.....I instruct you to squeeze it harder...
His_Baby_Doll says: good lord, very good point, whew, yeah you have the knack.
Die_Tryin says: as you comply........ I start to work the left nipple like you are working the right one....

Everyone should love a Geek...

If you've never met my Sir Die_Tryin, you'd never know that he is a Geek. With a capital G, and I have to tell you that there is nothing sexier than a Geek. I was once told that a nerd thinks they know it all, and a Geek knows it. Well, let me assure you all that this is true, DT knows it all, but he's just too modest to admit it. Oh sure he'll admit to having a vast quantity of useless knowledge, but that is selling himself short.

Thinking about all the Geeks I know I find most of them a little awkward, quiet, and shy. Very modest and unassuming. But do any of them realize they run the world as we know it? Of course, they do, deep down. But you won't find them bragging it up.

Why am I drawn to my Geek? Is it his love of Kink? No, that's a bonus. However, I will not deny that his mind and the way he uses it to learn and absorb all things D/s is extremely sexy. Smart is the new sexy after all. I fully expect to find that we have incredible sex the first time we are together, let's think about this. A Geek will study anything and everything from anatomy to physics, to the pure science of sex itself with an undying passion. Not to mention how thoughtful, and sensitive the average Geek is. hmmm, a thoughtful and caring lover can't be a bad thing, can it.

Yes, I will admit like all Geeks he is prone to rambling on about his past, present, and future projects. And I love it!!! The gusto and problem solving he shows is simply intoxicating, and I'll gladly sit and listen because he's intelligent and funny, he can have a conversation that isn't filled with slang and "ghetto" talk. Don't forget that he's the first one there to help me understand things that would escape the average man.

In the end, I see this man, full of honesty, loyal to himself, and his love's. He's sweet, and respectful, a true gentleman. How can you NOT love someone like that? This man that looks at me and loves ME, for ME, not for what I look like, not for the size I wear, or how fit my body is. But for me, my heart, my mind, and my soul.

So, if you don't already love a geek...and can stand to have sex with a laptop in the bed...FIND ONE!