Showing posts with label complications. Show all posts
Showing posts with label complications. Show all posts

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Sir Sunday 7-19-09 Waiting is the Hardest Part


Sir Sunday

7-19-09

Waiting is the Hardest Part



To all the music lovers I apologize to you I do not have the voice of our friend Pure Epiphany (be sure to visit her at The Fallacy of Epiphany, unfortunately, you will need to read German) So I will spare you the rendition of me singing “Waiting is the hardest part” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
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Tom Petty - The Waiting Lyrics @ LyricsTime.com

Originally I was going to post about what I was going to do when I first meet HBD at the airport, but that has fallen away from my thoughts and I will touch on that later. I have moved to thinking about the future and where we are headed, our situations and circumstances are moving faster than we ever imagined when we first started “playing” as a pair of good friends. She has a roller coaster ride of emotions from her SO and I do too, there is at least one if not 2 moves on the horizon for us in the next 45 days. So with reality looming and life-changing, we are meeting each other for the first time in person, I have no doubts this will be the largest event in either of our lives. When the trip was booked we were so ecstatic and wondering if we could survive the wait, and now in the last 24 hours the waiting is almost unbearable, truly the waiting is the hardest part.

Now I am sure HBD has been fixating on our first meeting with all the usual thoughts and fears, she has shared them with me and I have shared mine with her, as regular readers know there are no secrets between us, it is a truly liberating feeling. So at her request, I am going to share my “vision” of our first meeting at the Airport. We have agreed to meet at a central “landmark” to facilitate ease of finding each other. So here it goes from the vision and mind of Die_Tryin.

As I debark the plane I power up my cell phone and dial the familiar phone number for HBD,. She answers in her sultry tones “Hello Lover, I am waiting for you”, I reply “Hello Love, I am headed to you now”, small talk continues as I clear the security checkpoint and take the escalator to get to the agreed meeting location, “I am going to hide and make you look for me” HBD taunts, showing her bratty side. “are you asking for a spanking later?” I ask, “Yes Sir” she replies. I have been scanning the crowd which is pretty thin due to the late hour. I know what she is wearing, we have discussed it for weeks now and even though I have never seen it I can still see it. I spot her, she has her back to me, arm across her stomach, and cell phone to her ear, I start walking a little quicker and start her talking on a topic that she can talk for a bit on. I approach quietly and as she finishes and asks “so where are you?” A whisper in her ear as I wrap her up in a hug from behind “right here lover”. I loosen my hug to allow her to spin in my arms and face me, we look into each other's eyes and with a smile, we kiss a long, slow, leave the world, kiss. Then we hug harder, then as we separate continue to hold hands, facing each other, speechless and smiling. After a couple of minutes we kiss again, and after we finish she says “ I thought you would never get here”.......... The rest is for later posts

~DT

Monday, May 25, 2009

Ranting and rambling....







As we all know, life is complicated for me and DT. Not to belittle his complications, because they are HUGE.  Today I just need to vent, rant and whine about my own complications.

I've said before that I'm married, and the SO well we have a very volatile relationship. When we fight...we fight. Last night was one of those nights. It started with his feelings being hurt because he felt he wasn't getting enough attention. Then turned into a fight about money, cleaning the house, parenting, and let's face it....sex. Nothing is off-limits when we fight, its angry name-calling, screaming, hurtful comments, throwing things, and sometimes its physical violence.

This time was probably the worst its been in years, after what felt like hours of screaming, he'd taken my laptop and locked it in the car, he'd taken my cell phone, and I'd finally just had enough. At 2:30 in the morning I'm walking the streets alone, just wanting to run away, and never look back. But there is a problem. The car is locked with my keys in it, the kids are asleep, and my money is stashed in the house out of his sight.

A short walk brought me back to the house, just to find that all the doors were...locked. I wasn't really surprised though. As I was coming out of the yard I hear a sound from the front of the house. And there he is, crying, he's sorry he didn't mean it, don't leave, etc.

What am I thinking as I accept his apology and go back into the house? I really don't know. Other than, it's just too soon. I need time.