As we all know, life is complicated for me and DT. Not to belittle his complications, because they are HUGE. Today I just need to vent, rant and whine about my own complications.
I've said before that I'm married, and the SO well we have a very volatile relationship. When we fight...we fight. Last night was one of those nights. It started with his feelings being hurt because he felt he wasn't getting enough attention. Then turned into a fight about money, cleaning the house, parenting, and let's face it....sex. Nothing is off-limits when we fight, its angry name-calling, screaming, hurtful comments, throwing things, and sometimes its physical violence.
This time was probably the worst its been in years, after what felt like hours of screaming, he'd taken my laptop and locked it in the car, he'd taken my cell phone, and I'd finally just had enough. At 2:30 in the morning I'm walking the streets alone, just wanting to run away, and never look back. But there is a problem. The car is locked with my keys in it, the kids are asleep, and my money is stashed in the house out of his sight.
A short walk brought me back to the house, just to find that all the doors were...locked. I wasn't really surprised though. As I was coming out of the yard I hear a sound from the front of the house. And there he is, crying, he's sorry he didn't mean it, don't leave, etc.
What am I thinking as I accept his apology and go back into the house? I really don't know. Other than, it's just too soon. I need time.
