a new start

After my last post, I spent quite a bit of time talking to Die_tryin. About us, and where we are, what we need, and how to get there. Our communication has been suffering because of being together. Having him in the house with me, so close, it's wonderful. I enjoy all our time together, even if it's just us sitting at our computers doing our own thing. Unfortunately, the deeper communication that we built our relationship on has fallen to the wayside.

I did give my collar to DT for safekeeping, I just do not feel in that state of mind right now. I have some things to work through, with DT and within myself. During our talk, DT admits to having had some blocks that cause him to hold back. And that has been an injustice to us both. I feel just as responsible for this as I've not been more open in my expectations.

We've agreed that we do want this lifestyle and that we will work to get back where we want to be.

In the days since that last post, I have seen a change in DT and that has brought about a change in me. The kids make spankings and other pain-inducing corrections out of the question. DT has decided that a few well-placed bites on my back that respond to pressure are in order. We've added a couple things to our nightly rituals that have brought me closer to him and my position in this life together.

I've put my whole heart into this, and I only hope that we are able to pull this off. I know it won't be easy, but I'm willing to give it a go...

wish us luck

How to find myself

Recently I have read several submissive bloggers who are struggling with their service and submission outside the bedroom. These blogs drew my attention because frankly, I find myself struggling with this myself. I am a submissive woman, I am a slave at heart. But I am also a mother at home, a manager at work, and a small business owner to boot.

How can I be all these people, the leader, the mentor, the boss...and still be his owned property? What things can I do to continue to serve him, and not feel that I am putting aside who I really am? How do you balance strength and submission?

I've struggled so deeply with this, that I've come to question my own submission. And that kind of internal battle is one I don't bode well it. It's chaotic, and distracting from the rest of my days. Perhaps its because I feel that I'm going it alone. DT doesn't have the same conflicts. No one at work knows who or what I am outside of work. My friends don't know about my lifestyle choices, so here I sit and I search the internet. What do I come up with? The same thoughts, people saying they can't be submissive outside the bedroom because of life. That can't be the answer, there has to be a way.

For now, I just continue to move forward in the bedroom. Waiting patiently for Wed when we have the day alone and we are able to be Master and slave. I know this isn't the end all be all, I know there is a way to balance submission with day to day life. And I am determined to find it.

Just needing a release

Enough of this emotional down in the dumps crap! I'm tired of feeling this way, and tired of feeling like this thing between DT and I will never happen. Now, that's not to say I'm over that feeling because I'm not. I'm drowning right now, but this thought keeps coming to mind and I need to get it out! A release!!

We walk in the room, there's a dim light from the other side, music is playing from the desk. Before I can appraise the rest of the room, he presses me against the door, his strong hands at my shoulders, sliding down my arms taking my hands as he leans in to kiss me. As his lips open and his tongue begins its possessive dance with mine he draws my arms up over my head taking both wrists in his one large hand holding me there at his mercy. It was then that I noticed the handcuffs running through an eye bolt in the door above my head. He gave a little chuckle as he nipped at my lower lip.

My hands were shaking as he pulled me up to secure my wrists in the silver cuffs, leaving me standing with my heels just off the ground balancing on my toes. He softly slid his fingertips down my arms grinning in satisfaction as goosebumps popped up under his touch. He leaned in again kissing me, claiming me in a way that only he can.

SIr Sunday

From My Soapbox in the corner of the Internet...

Sir Sunday

It's been a long time...........


Hello all and welcome back to Sir Sundays.

As most of our regular readers have noticed HBD and I have been more than a little absent for a long stretch of time.
Well I am here to say we are back and stronger than ever, still working through the "evolution" of our relationship and even our D/s dynamic. We had come to a point where we were both feeling a bit "stalled" ... still madly in love with one another but we were not sure how to address our future... HBD had eluded to a change in her and that we had talked it out. I am glad to say I am proud of My Babydoll, the conversation was hard for her and she showed great courage. We have discussed and adjusted our path.
Not many of you know this as I don't recall it ever being in our blog before, the "official" anniversary of HBD becoming my Submissive is 5-9-09 and yes we are nearing it. Our official commitment which was blogged about is 7-22-09, and that brings me to one more date 4-13-10. That is the date HBD was Registered in the SLRN as an Owned and collared slave of Sir Die Tryin and in doing so she has become my slave. This has changed our dynamic in a direction that almost a year ago we had not seen but now openly embrace. HBD is still working on the transition mentally and we both realized when we first started talking and our relationship started we were both novices to the lifestyle, we had read a lot about it and had a lot of pre-conceived ideas and concepts about lifestyle that we have grown past or changed our minds on through the last year.
We will continue to grow in our path and enjoy each other learning as we go. And I have some really exciting news..... HBD is coming to me again for a quick visit and for those of you keeping score it has been since Dec 2 last year since we have touched one another.
She will be in my arms and my bonds in little less than 2 weeks. We are going to have an official collaring ...and of course lots of NSFW fun for us.... stay tuned loyal readers

~DT

SIR SUNDAY - 10 things

Sir Sunday – Ten things-The Dom edition.



The List……10 Things I love about His_Baby_Doll and 10 things I despise about my FX


Let me start from “my soapbox in the corner of the internet”


The things I love about HBD in no particular order;

1. Her smile, and not just her smile but how her face and eyes light up when she is happy and truly smiling. I do have photographic evidence of this and no I am not going to share, yes I am a selfish bastard

2. Her complete and utter love for me and the fact my complete love of her is accepted and returned.

3. The complete open and honest relationship we have, it makes the distance at least a little more bearable and it is the core block on which our whole relationship is built, as I often say “without our open and honest we wouldn't work”

4. I know even if we were “vanilla” we would love each other as strongly as we do right now, and it continues to grow every minute of every day.

5. We have very similar and complementing “kinks” and have genuine interests in the same topics and “fetishes”. Our excitement to learn is only limited by our imaginations.

6. Her compassion and ability to show love is the best I have ever had the pleasure of receiving and knowing.

7. Even though she will disagree with me I feel she is the sexiest woman I know and have ever had love me in return.

8. The BEST lover I have ever had!!!! (Enough said).

9. An incredible sense of humor that is always there even when we are being serious a joke or a side topic can pop in and out in full stride at full speed. HBD has a sharp wit and the intelligence to back it up.

10. The complete trust in me in all aspects of our lives.




The 10 things I despise about my FX. In no particular order;

1. Her complete lack of trust in me and my abilities. In every aspect of life.

2. The fact which has been proven time and time again that I am “not enough of a provider for the lifestyle she expects”

3. Her Temper and her “razor tongue” which when we argue and fight has a tendency to cut quick, cut deep and cut often.

4. How after vilifying my EX about taking me for granted for as long as she did is now doing the exact same thing and when confronted justifies the acts with the statement “when your EX did it she didn't love you”, the FX has a strange way of showing love.

5. Her lack of patience with important issues, her constant pushing of issues always causes more hurt than results.

6. When she feels stressed or cornered, whether or not she truly is, verbally she goes off on the people who are closest to her, further alienating and hurting the ones she professes to love.

7. Her recent inability to make a decision and stick to it since the boys were born is both frustrating and infuriating.

8. The level of financial ruin I have been pushed into (in the name of love) based on the level of purchases I needed to make to “even the score between her and my ex”

9. How there is no level of communication except “superficial” and “argue”

10. When during the 3rd trimester of her complicated pregnancy I had to stop having sex with her for her own health and safety. She tells me I have destroyed our intimacy and I need to “re court her and woo her back” and I then spent the next 4 months proving to her that I did love her and desire her, to no avail, I was still taken for granted and I told her what she was doing to me and it was met with cold indifference.


So now that that is out of my system let the healing begin, and this can serve as a reminder to me about all the wrongs in my last marriage and keep me and HBD from falling into the same patterns.

I love, cherish and truly desire you Babydoll.
Please marry me and spend the rest of our days together, happy and loved.
I love you, Truly, Madly, Deeply.
~DT

Emotionally exhausted...

I have to apologize for my absence the last few days. I'm just not in a good place mentally right now, and blogging has been so very far from my mind. Which is a very sad thing for me. I love blogging, I love getting my feelings out and sharing them with others, I feel like I've given up a part of me the last few days.


As most of you know Die_Tryin has been moving his SO from his coast home back to her parents in the midwest. Unfortunately, this is also causing me huge amounts of turmoil. I am at battle with myself. I know he loves me, wants me, needs me...as much as I do him. But I can't help but fall back into my doubts and insecurities that she will win this battle.


I can't sleep, so I'm physically exhausted, I can hardly eat I have no appetite, I'm stressed to the max leaving me emotionally exhausted as well. I have a headache that just won't go away and I'm fighting tears every time I hear his voice. I'm not the strong woman he thinks I am. I'm not the strong woman I think I am....I'm weak and emotional.

So, I find myself reaching back to our trip last month. Remembering the feel of his touch, the way his kisses taste....and getting lost again in the feel of his body possessing mine. Is this an odd way to find strength? Drawing his strength into me to get through the next 24 hours?

Bragging rights...A tale from our meeting

You know I adore oral sex. Giving and receiving, so I'll admit I was a bit shocked when my Sir confessed that only two other women had ever managed to suck him off until he came. How could this be? Sure, he's larger than the average man below the belt, and yes I understand that his need to please his partner does cause him to hold back his own pleasure. So, when he said that no one had really wanted to be bothered taking the time I knew that I had to take this as a challenge. I WAS going to give him a mind-blowing blow job, and I was going to make him cum, and on top of that, I WAS going to swallow. Something that no one had ever done for him. Was my poor Dom missing out or what?

This brings us to the next installment in our tale.

Die_Tryin and I were finally back to the hotel. I allowed him to drive because let's be honest I was so absorbed in touching him I'd never have been able to stay on the road! We get to the hotel, he gets the door for me, the elevator door, and the room door. Always the gentleman. Once in the door, he kissed me, arms tightly around each other, lips locked to one another, hands exploring. Minutes tick by and we finally end up completely in the room. I'll be honest I don't remember how my dress left my body, I just remember his lips, his hands, his taste, the feel of his body against me. And let's not forget the fact that I was totally lost in the high of finally being with him and how simply comfortable I was with him.

Finally, it was time, for me to take my bragging rights. I went to put on lipstick, mmm, the goal was to leave a lipstick ring on his cock so we could see just how much I could take. Well, that was forgotten shortly after I came back to the room. While I was gone, DT removed his pants and sat on the loveseat waiting for me.

In a short moment, I was back kissed him softly and proceeded to ask permission to suck his cock. Yes, I was the good little sub at that point. When he assented I slipped down on to the floor on to my knees in front of him, and began to work his cock slowly, with my hands, and then my tongue tasting him. Feeling the throbbing heat of him in my mouth was all that I needed to drive me on, hungrily sucking on his cock, loving it with my tongue. Adding the stroking of my hand on his shaft to meet my lips. But it was him, the sound of his pleasure, the sound of his approval that really turned me on. I wanted him, I wanted to feel him inside me, but I was not about to stop before he came in my mouth.

I have to admit that I was perfectly content there on the floor on my knees in front of the man I call Sir. I've never felt that kneeling was something I had to have to make me feel submissive. But I will not deny that I was very turned on by it. Not just then but at other times as well. I don't know what I'll do with this realization, I know that DT doesn't require it. I think he prefers that I don't. But some times, I think.....anyway back to the topic at hand.

It wasn't long before I felt his sack tighten and his cock begin to twitch, and then he told me it was coming...that he was going to cum. And I didn't pull away, I couldn't I wanted to taste him I wanted his hot cum on my tongue. The ultimate reward for a job done well. It made this subs heart race to know I had succeeded in my goal. Then it happened the first shot hit the back of my throat and I groaned the vibrations of my sighing pleasure running down the length of my tongue as continued to fill my mouth. Swallowing quickly and loving the feel of his hands on me as I took him into me.

But what turned me on the most, was that he pulled me up and kissed me, the taste of his cum still on my lips. No man had done that to me before, it was always time to brush my teeth and clean up before they would consider it. Then he held me, we kissed we talked, we laughed, and the rest...well that's another post.

Sir Sunday An analogy of the building blocks of relationships

Hello again, it is Sunday and time for me to step on my soapbox in this little corner of the internet. We apologize for the little interruption of our daily blog Service but HBD was a little “tied up”, who the hell am I kidding she was “a lot tied up”,

After an incredible first “get away” with HBD, I was reflecting on the dynamics of our relationship and the parts that make it work when all the conventional wisdom tells us it shouldn't. We have the very deep trust, (the most important ingredient, more on this later) then we have the friendship, our commitment, our partnership, our confidant roles and last but not least our similar “lifestyle” kinks.

So as I was reflecting on this sitting in a coffee shop I started thinking of relationships as a whole and started likening them to the espresso beverages that people order. Let's start with some drinks, (and if I don't name your favorite I'm sorry). There is the “straight” espresso, the “shot” as it were, then there is the Cappuccino, Latte, Mocha, Macchiato, Ristretto, Americano, and the Lungo. What do all these drinks have in common you ask? They are all a relationship built on a single block of espresso.

What does this have to do with real relationships? Well, the Espresso is the “trust” in a relationship if you start with good, fresh roasted and properly ground espresso beans, then tamp the grounds into the “portafilter” and then use the proper combination of time, temperature and extraction you will have a perfect building block for the rest of your beverage relationship. Does this mean any one of these drinks is better than another? No that is all personal preference, like is a “vanilla” couple better than a “Poly” relationship? Or a D/s or an M/s? again no. They are just different and based on personal preferences. Now back to this building block of trust, trust is the most important part of any relationship. Similar to if you remove the espresso form a Latte you just have steamed milk.

As I watched the customers come and go and order their drinks, I noticed an interesting trend, a handful of people ordered a “cappuccino” and then proceeded to complain to the barista, where is the vanilla syrup, where is the chocolate? This makes me laugh a little bit as people will order things with familiar names even thought it is not what they want, or even desire something else. Very much like people who don't trust their prospective partner to be honest enough with their wants and desires. I too have been guilty of this in the past, but now with HBD we have laid everything out in the open, all wants, desires, fears, and issues as they arise, there is a true trust here. I am hoping that all of my (small group) of readers will get to experience this at least once in their lives.

This trust made for an incredible trip, there was never an awkward moment, we were completely comfortable in all situations, even spending most of the trip naked and in each other's arms. We both slept deeper than we have since we were children safe in the care of our or parents. Yes, we had earth-moving love making and hot and sweaty sex and everything in between. There were a couple of moments where HBD drifted off to “subspace” a feat I had not expected to bring out in our first meeting let alone twice! Again this is possible due to trust. I am quite sure HBD will fill in the details in later posts as I have already gone beyond what a gentleman should tell.


Thank you Babydoll for loving me, trusting me, and the gift of your submission to me.

~DT

Where to start....

Well, I've been back a couple days now. Die_Tryin is back at home, and life should return to normal right???? RIGHT????

WHAT it'll never be normal again? sigh...you're right nothing will ever be "normal" for this sub or her Dom again. Why? well if you've been following us any length of time you know that DT and I had our first (with many more to come) face to face visits this week. That time together has changed us, molded us, and sealed our fates. We cannot continue in the path we were on, the only path is the one towards each other.

DT came in, and a storm blew in just as I had to take off to get him. Of course, the amount of traffic and the vast quantity of water on the roads slowed me down and I was late. I have to tell you I was nearly in tears talking to him on my way to the airport I knew that he had to be disappointed that I wasn't there. Luckily his plane was held on the runway due to lightning and I wasn't very late at all. I found my way to the terminal and found a landmark that he knew he could find. And I waited, feeling silly as I read the directory to him. Then..yes that's when I saw someone behind me, bend over to put down a bag, and I knew it was him. He wrapped his arms around me pulling me back against him. Those strong arms holding me close were all I needed to finally relax. My Dom was there, with me, and he was holding me. I could have cried. He loosened his grip and turned me to face him, and that is where I got the kiss....that first kiss. It was everything I had hoped for and more.

When it comes to that kiss I have to tell you all that I warned him beforehand that while I never measure him against the men in my past at this moment I would, because I met my SO at the airport the first time as well. Now, let me tell you all, that the meeting with my SO and that kiss couldn't have been farther from my mind. In fact, it was just as I started writing this that I remembered it. For the record, my Sir has these lips that just beg to be kissed, and does he know how to use them!!!!!!

I had to find a bathroom at this point and he led me off to the restrooms. Kissing, touching, laughing, talking....loving being together. I came back out, kissed him for all I thought I was worth, and we headed back off to the car. It was several minutes of us laughing, kissing, and just being amazed that we were together finally. We got to the car and I handed him my keys, we put his bags in the car and it started to rain. He opened my door for me - Ladies this is a true gentleman - and we stood there, neither one of us caring about the rain kissing again, feeling the others touch not wanting to part but knowing what awaited us.

Yes, I let him drive us back to the hotel. This was no small feat for me. I do not trust people to drive with me in the car, even my SO who is an over the road truck driver, I panic I back seat drive, I panic! But with my Sir, I was relaxed and gave up control of the car freely. That was one of many moments that clarified my trust for this man. The one I have given my heart, soul, and now body to.

I have so many things to say about this trip, I'm sure they'll keep me writing for WEEKS!!

Sir Sunday 7-19-09 Waiting is the Hardest Part

Sir Sunday

7-19-09

Waiting is the Hardest Part



To all the music lovers I apologize to you I do not have the voice of our friend Pure Epiphany (be sure to visit her at The Fallacy of Epiphany, unfortunately, you will need to read German) So I will spare you the rendition of me singing “Waiting is the hardest part” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
.
Tom Petty - The Waiting Lyrics @ LyricsTime.com

Originally I was going to post about what I was going to do when I first meet HBD at the airport, but that has fallen away from my thoughts and I will touch on that later. I have moved to thinking about the future and where we are headed, our situations and circumstances are moving faster than we ever imagined when we first started “playing” as a pair of good friends. She has a roller coaster ride of emotions from her SO and I do too, there is at least one if not 2 moves on the horizon for us in the next 45 days. So with reality looming and life-changing, we are meeting each other for the first time in person, I have no doubts this will be the largest event in either of our lives. When the trip was booked we were so ecstatic and wondering if we could survive the wait, and now in the last 24 hours the waiting is almost unbearable, truly the waiting is the hardest part.

Now I am sure HBD has been fixating on our first meeting with all the usual thoughts and fears, she has shared them with me and I have shared mine with her, as regular readers know there are no secrets between us, it is a truly liberating feeling. So at her request, I am going to share my “vision” of our first meeting at the Airport. We have agreed to meet at a central “landmark” to facilitate ease of finding each other. So here it goes from the vision and mind of Die_Tryin.

As I debark the plane I power up my cell phone and dial the familiar phone number for HBD,. She answers in her sultry tones “Hello Lover, I am waiting for you”, I reply “Hello Love, I am headed to you now”, small talk continues as I clear the security checkpoint and take the escalator to get to the agreed meeting location, “I am going to hide and make you look for me” HBD taunts, showing her bratty side. “are you asking for a spanking later?” I ask, “Yes Sir” she replies. I have been scanning the crowd which is pretty thin due to the late hour. I know what she is wearing, we have discussed it for weeks now and even though I have never seen it I can still see it. I spot her, she has her back to me, arm across her stomach, and cell phone to her ear, I start walking a little quicker and start her talking on a topic that she can talk for a bit on. I approach quietly and as she finishes and asks “so where are you?” A whisper in her ear as I wrap her up in a hug from behind “right here lover”. I loosen my hug to allow her to spin in my arms and face me, we look into each other's eyes and with a smile, we kiss a long, slow, leave the world, kiss. Then we hug harder, then as we separate continue to hold hands, facing each other, speechless and smiling. After a couple of minutes we kiss again, and after we finish she says “ I thought you would never get here”.......... The rest is for later posts

~DT

A bet...

I wasn't sure what I wanted to blog tonight, but I finally came across an idea. One that has been at the height of my plans with Die_Tryin. It started nearly 3 months ago, when he threw out a comment, no a bet - and I took him up on it.

He bet me that he could make me cum and never touch my pussy, now I thought for sure that he would take the same route my SO would have taken. But then again my SO knows that I can come just from playing with my nipples. DT didn't know that so instead I let him run with it....here is how it went.





Die_Tryin says: I'll bet I could make you cum without even touching your pussy
His_Baby_Doll says: I know you could......lol.....I have a weakness. Now the question is how would you do it? and is it the same thing?.............intrigued here.
Die_Tryin says: I would have you sit naked ....on the edge of the bed....
Die_Tryin says: hands at your side
His_Baby_Doll says: k
Die_Tryin says: legs together...as to keep it proper... ;)
His_Baby_Doll says: lol, always
Die_Tryin says: I would start by blindfolding you




Die_Tryin says: then I would lean in and ever so gently kiss your left ear..... exhaling softly
His_Baby_Doll says: that's goosebumps right there
Die_Tryin says: then I would run the tip of my tongue along the outside of your ear
Die_Tryin says: and when I got to the lobe a gentle nibble
Die_Tryin says: then I would kiss down your shoulder to your elbow and to your hand
Die_Tryin says: I would kiss every finger and give a nibble to the tip of each one
His_Baby_Doll says: total tactile teasing, I like
Die_Tryin says: after I finished the left side ....I would repeat for the Right side from the fingertips to your Ear...ending with a warm exhale
Die_Tryin says: then I would take your hair and gather it up.... like a brush and sweep it around your neck and shoulders....telling you to leave your hands at your sides....
His_Baby_Doll says: at which time I've melted into a puddle already, gonna have to sit on my hands to behave.
Die_Tryin says: then I would let your hairbrush across the top of your breasts and if it reaches without too much hard pulling brushing your nipples ....first the left then the right
Die_Tryin says: *feel free to "play" if you want to or can*
] Die_Tryin says: then the hair is brushed back over your shoulder..... I am standing in front of you fully clothed... I lean in and gently touch the tip of my tongue to your lips...gently tracing them
His_Baby_Doll says: oh my
Die_Tryin says: then I kiss your chin....and I go down lower exhaling and place my tongue on your nipple.......the right one....it is already stiff from the brushing..... I take the nipple in my lips and suck gently at first ...then a little harder...my lips on your nipple the only point of contact between us...
Die_Tryin says: I roll the nipple between my upper lip and my lower teeth ...side to side slowly
Die_Tryin says: gripping a little tighter with each transit....
Die_Tryin says: then I capture your nipple with my teeth and work the tip with my tongue..like a little punching bag....
His_Baby_Doll says: don't let me forget to breathe
Die_Tryin says: I release your nipple and stand up
Die_Tryin says: I take your hand and place it on the still slick nipple and tell you to pinch and hold it ....as hard as you can stand



His_Baby_Doll says: mmmmm, found my weak spot
Die_Tryin says: I take your other hand and bring it up to the bulge in my pants and let you feel my clothed fully engorged cock
Die_Tryin says: then put the hand back down......
His_Baby_Doll says: very nice
Die_Tryin says: now I sit on the bed next to you on your left side....I put an arm around your shoulder and turn you towards me so I can kiss you .....deeply and passionately......my other hand finds your left breast and roughly grabs the whole breast.....
Die_Tryin says: as I start to squeeze I notice you have stopped playing with your nipple.....I instruct you to squeeze it harder...
His_Baby_Doll says: good lord, very good point, whew, yeah you have the knack.
Die_Tryin says: as you comply........ I start to work the left nipple like you are working the right one....

Long Distance Relationships, and 24/7 D/s

I will have to admit now that over the last few days I've been thinking a lot about how my relationship with Die_tryin has changed and grown from friends to playmates, to potential D/s, to long-distance loves.

I've found myself evaluating this relationship and trying to define it in conventional and lifestyle terms. But I've had a hard time doing this and have had to do a lot of soul searching.

This is what I have decided....it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, the only thing that matters is how we define ourselves. And we have decided that we are a long-distance couple. We are D/s 24/7, friends, lovers, confidants, and partners.

What I struggled with the most is the D/s 24/7. This is a concept I had preconceptions about, and they revolved around our lifestyle kink, but in time I've come to see that this is not what our D/s is all about. Our D/s is about him having my best interest in mind at ALL times, his looking out for my well being and giving me direction as needed. In addition, it means that I live my life 24/7 to please him, to show my respect for him, and to always keep in mind what he would wish for me to do to be safe and happy. Simple right? Just not the box I expected us to fit into....instead it's our box. One made just for us, and it fits us perfectly!

City lights....

It came from a harmless comment from TheBsideofme on twitter and ended up creeping into my mind over the next few hours.

The room is small, there's a desk that also serves as a TV stand, a recliner, a small table and two chairs, and of course the typical hotel room bed with its cheesy bedspread. But none of that matters, the only thing in this room right now that I care about is you.

Sitting in the chair closest to our 6th story window with its open drapes, I can't take my eyes off yours, there is a hunger in them that can only be satisfied by one thing, and I know exactly what that is. I cross the room slowly, enjoying the way your eyes wander over my body, pausing at this curve and that. That look, the utter appreciation for what you see reminds me exactly why I love being a woman. Even more so, why I love being your woman.

I give a little smirk, roll my shoulders back, and sway my hips as I slowly cross the room to stand in front of you in my black heels and a pink nightie. A slow sweeping gaze over your body and I can see the rise in your briefs, knowing what waits for me there. I lick my lips teasingly as I lean in to kiss your waiting lips. The soft moan from you is all I need to know you're ready for me. You shift your left leg between mine spreading them slightly.

Your left-hand slides up my body, finding my already hard nipples and takes turns teasing, pinching, twisting, pulling them through the cool satin. And your right...mmm yes your right slips up the back of my legs coming to rest for a moment on my ass, up over my hip, down my stomach and coming to rest cupping my pussy. Your touch is like sparks against my flesh. I rock my hips against your hand urging you to part my lips with your fingers.

I glance behind you noting the open shades and can't be bothered to try and close them, you lean forward and take my nipple in your mouth the fabric of my nightie still between us. The slick satin, the heat of your breath, the feel of your teeth. Making my knees weak, you sense the urgency in my breathing and gently spread my pussy lips, slipping two fingers between them and gliding along the length of my wet lips, coming back to squeeze my clit between your fingers. I can feel my knees trembling and lean forward to put my hands on your shoulders, bracing myself against you. Lost in the sensations your touch brings in me.

In a quick shift of your arms, you've turned me away from you, pulling you down in your lap, keeping one hand on my breasts playing with my nipples bringing me to the edge of wanting while your other hand slips back between my legs where you find my throbbing clit once more. Flicking it gently with your thumb before sliding two fingers up into my wet pussy. Curving into me to press against my G-spot while the palm of your hand is left to rub hard against my clit. Squeezing firmly, then pumping in and out of me harder, and faster while I rock my hips breathing harder, leaning back against your solid chest holding me in your arms as I feel my orgasm brimming, and know it's going to happen, that spot that feeling, I'm about to let go when you whisper in my ear.

"Cum for me, BabyDoll," and that's all it takes to have me gushing in your hand, screaming your name and leaving a wet patch of my cum on your briefs. Your fingers never stop moving as I cum again quickly and just as intensely. You bring your fingers to my lips letting me taste myself on you, I'm not sure who it turns on more.

"Stand up," You order me off your lap with a little shove, you stand yourself turning the chair so the back faces the window. Then placing me up in the chair so I can look out the open window at the night lights of the city around us. My ass up in the air, begging you to fuck me.





You lean over me whispering in my ear. "You know if anyone were to look up here they could see you." I couldn't help but moan, and push my ass back against you. My eagerness should have brought you to the edge of wanting me, wanting your cock inside me. But no of course not yet, you lean back and give a firm slap to my left ass cheek. I gasp at the shock and pleasure of the sting. Before I have a chance to recover your hand falls sharply against the right cheek, this time the sting is enough to soak my pussy once again. You pull my nightie up over my waist grabbing my hips and pulling me back against your rock hard cock, your grey boxer briefs damp from the pre-cum leaking from the head of your cock.

"What do you want babydoll?" you growl from behind me.

"Please, Sir, I want you to fuck me." I plead begging for your cock, wanting you buried deep in my pussy.

"Not yet lover," and with that, you kneel on the floor, your face even with my dripping pussy. You grab my hips and steady me in the chair before planting your face against my pussy. Your tongue probing my aching lips, your thumb rubbing against my clit, every little bit your lips come down to suck on my clit, nibbling it with your teeth then back to my waiting pussy lips. In seconds I'm a blubbering idiot completely lost in the feel of your magical tongue probing into me.

Your incredible oral work has me gasping for breath nearly collapsing in the chair from the pure pleasure of it. My orgasm comes on quickly my legs shaking, pussy clenching hard, and a scream of pure release coming from my lips.

You stand up slapping my pussy as you do making my knees weak, you lean forward and grab a handful of my hair pulling me up and pushing me toward the floor to ceiling window in front of me. Pressing my breasts against the cool glass, "Look around little one, the entire city can see your beautiful body if they just looked"
With that said you press me hard against the glass once more this time positioning my body in a way to give you full access to my pussy with your rock hard cock. Pulling the waistband of your boxer briefs down to free your cock, your hand comes between my legs to spread my lips one last time before slipping the head of your cock between my lips, slowly at first just the head. Then further, and further until the entire length is filling me, I can feel the throbbing inside me, and when you begin to stroke in and out of me I cum hard. Your left hand tangled in my hair, your right reaching forward to torture my nipples, pinching them hard between your finger and thumb.

As the town light twinkle and glow below and around us, the city alive and unaware of the passion in its midst, we come together, screaming your name as you moan mine deeply against my shoulder. You pull back away from me, reaching out you take me in your arms carrying me to the bed where we collapse in each other's arms....exhausted

Sir Sunday - Strength

Time again for Sir Sunday,


Tonight I am going to be a little somber today, not too much on the lifestyle or on the sex. (I know I am totally risking my readership) I just wanted to comment on HBD and her incredible strength through the trials of the last couple of days. She is standing on the edge of the end of her marriage to a physically abusive man, and a definitely mentally abusive man. The weekend has gone from good to bad to worse and through it all HBD has held her conviction even in the face of the threat of physical bodily harm. (This gets me hot under the collar, A topic for another day and another venue)
I know this sounds like I have a vested interest in this situation. On some levels I do, and on others, I am totally happy to see her grow and regain her life that has been repressed for so long by a series of men who felt it necessary to keep her feeling worthless to keep her “under their thumb”. I know to some of you it sounds crazy for a “Dom” to say that they are proud of a sub and for a sub to show conviction or self-esteem. Those people are wrong, and don't know what it means to be a sub or Dom for that matter.

Well that is where my interest comes in, I am interested in the long future with HBD, I want her as my partner as well as my sub. I am starting the separation and untangling of my situation here as well and finding my inspiration in the strength of HBD.

Thank you HBD for loving me, and accepting me with all my flaws and faults. Just remember I will always love you, always NEED you and always Desire you. You are worth it lover never forget it and we will be together.

~DT

Belts....

Out of all the implements out there for spanking, hands, paddles, whips, crops, floggers, etc. None of them turn me on as quickly as the sound of a belt being unbuckled, pulled through the loops and SNAPPED!

I don't know if its the smell of leather, the feel of its subtle texture, the incredible sound, or the exquisite sting of leather striking my flesh, that makes my knees weak and my pussy wet. And honestly, I don't care. It's the thought that consumes me since last night when I got to see THE belt. The one that will have a very exciting introduction to my ass in Denver.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Wanting it, hoping it's all it's cracked up to be...LOL yeah, pun intended. I fully expect to come back from that trip with a new lease on life and a new appreciation for the belt.

Anyone have any great belt stories to share? I'm all ears

another shower

It's so hot and you're not expected home for a couple hours I've been cleaning all day and I decide to sneak in a quick shower before starting dinner. I strip down and enter the warm water letting it run over my body washing the day's stress away.



Reaching for the soap I lather up my hands enjoying the slick suds on my fingers, quickly soaping my body knowing time is short if I want to get supper on the table before you get home. Most nights wouldn't be an issue, but I have plans for tonight. Arms, legs, hips, shoulders, stomach, ... breasts oh... yeah, my soapy fingers glide over my breasts bringing a gasp to my lips. I couldn't stop myself now, caressing both breasts in earnest. running my hands over my hardening nipples closing my eyes as the hard nubs slide between my fingers.



Caught up in the moment pushing my breasts together squeezing the nipples and twisting them with a pinch for good measure, rolling them through my finger tips feeling my pussy getting wet and dripping down my leg. But not daring to touch it, I want to be ready for you when dinner is done. To show you the results of having left me alone for the day - wanting and needing you. But my breasts and nipples are fair game.



Then I hear the distinct sound of the bathroom door opening and realize you're home early. CRAP, there's no way to hide what I've been doing, my cheeks are flushed, my nipples erect and my breathing is quickened



"Babydoll? What's this? you couldn't wait for me?" I can hear the displeasure in your voice.



'No, Sir, I . . . " you cut me off with a finger on my lips, then pulled your shirt off.



"I am very disappointed, little one, I thought tonight would be ours." your pants were dropped in a heap on the floor, socks and boxer briefs quickly following. Your erection brought a deep yearning feeling to my groin, I couldn't help but groan softly at the site of your naked body before me. I wanted you, now, here, I wanted to touch you, taste you, feel you inside my body. But the look on your face caused me to step back from you as you came into the shower and reached for me. You were upset, I'd let you down. I didn't know what to expect.



Without a word, you grabbed my wrist twisting me away from you with a gentle push. With my free hand, I catch myself against the cool tile wall and hold my body against it with my other hand still caught behind me. Your free hand came down hard on my ass cheek, causing me to gasp in surprise and groan deeply wanting all at the same time. Your hand slipped down between my waiting lips to feel the hot wetness of my eager pussy. You chuckled softly knowing I was more than ready to serve your desires, without a second thought you leaned over, bit my shoulder gently then slipped the head of your cock between my legs, and deeply into my waiting hole. Screaming your name as my first orgasm rocked my body...



Who says a little misbehaving doesn't have its rewards.

From DT to HBD A story of love and submission.

A day late I know, but I did feel that Father Day had to be addressed. So, for your viewing pleasure, Sir Sunday...on Monday. LOL






I have walked in on you at your desk at our office working late for the 3rd night this week. "Babydoll what are you doing? The workday ended 2 hours ago,"

“I'm not caught up” you protest “just a few more things left to do”.

“Come over here now” I say, standing in the doorway to the R& D lab. You give me a look of “but” and again I say “come to me”, you comply. At this point I notice the attractive skirt suit you wore to work today and that your hair is a bit disheveled from your frustration with your project.

“Yes Sir” you say with a hint of question in your voice as you arrive in front of me.

“lets get those projects off of your mind for a bit”,

“yes Sir” you reply.

“Good” now get into the shower, you start to turn to protest as you walk by, I plant a firm spank on your ass as you pass, “don't question me” I say with a sly grin on my face. “undress in here, I want to watch you” I instruct, you comply, giving me a slow and sensual teasing undressing.


I nod in approval, as you start the shower, I move to the room you are in as you step into the shower. I watch you as you step into the warm water, and start to soap up, by this time I have undressed as well and am now entering the shower.

“I was hoping you would join me Sir”. I gather you up in my arms and kiss you deeply the warm water cascading off of our bodies from all sides. Our hands rubbing, caressing and exploring each others body.

You look at me longingly and I ask you “what is it Babydoll?” you reply “ I love you Sir” I smile and say “ I love you too Babydoll”.

I roll you against the cool tile of the shower wall as I continue to touch you all over, I raise your hands above your head and it is then you notice the ring on the wall and the nylon restraints, as I put them on your wrists, leaving you back against the wall and facing me.

“Babydoll how many times have I told you work is for office hours?” I see your lower lip quiver in anticipation of my reaction to your reply.

“A couple” you reply,

“turn around”, as you do the water is now running down your back from your shoulders, I give you another swat on your ass firm, but more sound than pain, I then run my hand between your legs and feel the warm juices from your pussy, you groan and try to encourage me to keep playing there. I swat your ass again a little harder this time, I catch you looking back at me, at my throbbing erection and I see the longing in your eyes.

“How do I get you to learn this lesson?” I muse to myself, another smack on your ass a little harder this time. I check your pussy again, it is even wetter than before.

I stand behind you and let you feel my cock as I lay it in the crack of your ass, you are pushing back against me , urging me to take you, I reach around and grab your nipples, you gasp as I hold them hard. I let them go and then focus in rubbing your clit and working your pussy with my fingers. I feel you cum once, twice and a third time. I stop and turn you around to face me, I see the flush in your cheeks from the orgasms I kiss you hard and deep, the warm water still cascading around us I hike you up on my waist your hands still tied and I slide my cock into you. I start to pump you, firmly and with a steady pace as I continue to work you against the wall. And occasionally stop to nibble , or bite a nipple, you are in sheer ecstasy I feel you cumming I have lost count at 4 as I am starting to to build myself and I am going a bit harder and faster now. I stop and put your feet back on the ground and then turn you back around to take you from behind, I re-enter you and proceed to fuck you harder and faster, as I grab your hair and pull you moan and continue to cum, another slap across your ass , hard and I am ready to cum, I thrust in hard one last time with a loud grunt and release my load. I stand there and hold you, spent and happy. I kiss you, untie you and we finish getting cleaned up, then head to the lab for “Round 2”.

DT

cumming on command...

After thinking long and hard about DT's Sir Sunday post I figure its time to put my two cents in. After all I'm the guinea pig in this little experiment.

First off, do I even think it's possible to orgasm without being touched? hmmm, you know with the right mindset I do. I think you have to be highly reactive, and open to suggestion, not to mention having a very vivid imagination.

Now, when I look at all that and I think about myself I know I'm a prime candidate for attempting this. I can be sitting in the car minding my own business and hear a memory of DT telling me I WILL cum for him, and its right there on the verge so very close. My heart races, my breathing gets faster, my stomach gets those exquisite butterflies going, my pussy gets wet, and I am thisclose to cumming right then and there.

So, I have to say that I'm very excited about this prospect, I know it will be a thrilling exercise!

Feeling Helpless....

Things seem to be just spinning in crazy circles, and I can't keep my head above water right now. I'm drowning in a sea of emotions, happy, joy, excitement, dread, panic, apprehension, fear, anger, pain, and most of all right now helplessness.

DTs SO is a member of a social site that I belong to as well, it seems that she is using this site to create an alternate reality for herself. In addition to bouncing around like a rubber ball of love and dislike, she cycles from being angry and almost hateful about DT, to how he's the most wonderful man in the world. All her posts and thoughts seem to revolve around getting attention from others. Validation of her feelings. No matter what the current emotion is. It's frustrating for me to see, knowing there are so many lies. Its harder knowing that now DT sees these things and is hurt by the realization that his marriage is revolving around her lies. (Yes, I know he will read this, and no I'm not worried we share EVERYTHING)

Now for the heart of the matter, let's face it DT is still married, as am I. Which means, that we will have to share a bed with the SO's in our lives until we can extract ourselves. How do we do this without hurting each other? Well, try not to give too many details to start with. Think about each other while we're with the SO's, and then, of course, lean on each other after the fact because the mere act of being with the SO's hurts. Not just hurting each other, but it hurts on a personal level as well. I know, I was in that position this past weekend. And it HURT to be with my SO when I wanted so badly to be with DT. I thankfully can avoid this as my SO is away from home 2 or more weeks at a time. DT is not so lucky, he is with a woman that doesn't realize there is a problem and is grasping at everything she has to try and fix it. Which means "connecting" in a sexual manner.

I knew it happened tonight, I knew it before I talked to him. He wasn't here at the usual time. And no word that he would be away, that was the only possibility. When he did get back online I knew, from the way he typed that he was either not alone, or was concerned that I wasn't alone. Finally, it slipped out, without him saying the words he told me. And while I hurt for me, I ached for him, I felt his pain, regret...shame. There is nothing I can do to help him. I can assure him that I love him, I can be there for him to talk to. But nothing will take it away until we are together....eventually.

The thing is that she has started to draw on his/our kink, in a very vanilla way. A little hair pulling, a spank on the ass. But wait, what about the first time she ASKED him to spank her. And when he followed through because he thought it might fix them, she waited a couple days and threw it back in his face that he HIT her. Now again, she's asking for him to spank her, pull her hair etc. Where is this coming from? besides desperation?

We talked briefly, and that was very limited, and interrupted by her coming down for a baby bottle. He covered well, talking to his brother he said, he's tired he said. He tells his brother He loves him, and to call back when he's not so tired they'll talk later. I'm 2nd again...but I'm not I know I'm first in his heart and the one he loves.

Now for confession time....I'm scared. I'm afraid that she's going to win. What right do I have to come between them? What if she does have it in her to be a sub? What if what if what if? So, its been over an hour now, she's been feeding the baby. I know this takes time. But well, I know in my heart he won't be back tonight, and tomorrow I won't get my wake up call, so I'm off to cry myself to sleep.









Who said nothing could kill the high I've been flying since buying those tickets last night?

explain this....

Love....and lust....over a long distance.

How is it that I can be so completely in love with someone that is so far away? add to that the fact that I've never met him. I mean face to face meeting. I've seen pictures, talked to him for hours online, and not to mention HOURS on the phone. But he's never touched me, never kissed me, never looked in my eyes. How can I be this devoted to him?

Not only that, but how can he return those feelings? His love for me, is so deep that I can hear it in his voice and see it in his actions towards me. But, then again HOW?!

I don't know the answer, and honestly I'm not sure that it matters. I know that I love him, I know that he loves me, and I know that no matter what we will be together. I can only hope that everyone else that finds themselves in this position, of loving so completely lets that love grow and doesn't shun it just because of a few miles of separation.


One last thought, again over these long distances. How is it that I can feel his touch? taste his kiss? how can I know that making love to him, submitting to him, will be amazing? I don't know!! But I know that the mere thought of him is enough to make my pussy wet, the thought of his touch will drive me to orgasm. I want him.....No I need him. And all this with oh so many miles between us.