I will have to admit now that over the last few days I've been thinking a lot about how my relationship with Die_tryin has changed and grown from friends to playmates, to potential D/s, to long-distance loves.
I've found myself evaluating this relationship and trying to define it in conventional and lifestyle terms. But I've had a hard time doing this and have had to do a lot of soul searching.
This is what I have decided....it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, the only thing that matters is how we define ourselves. And we have decided that we are a long-distance couple. We are D/s 24/7, friends, lovers, confidants, and partners.
What I struggled with the most is the D/s 24/7. This is a concept I had preconceptions about, and they revolved around our lifestyle kink, but in time I've come to see that this is not what our D/s is all about. Our D/s is about him having my best interest in mind at ALL times, his looking out for my well being and giving me direction as needed. In addition, it means that I live my life 24/7 to please him, to show my respect for him, and to always keep in mind what he would wish for me to do to be safe and happy. Simple right? Just not the box I expected us to fit into....instead it's our box. One made just for us, and it fits us perfectly!
HBD.. I surfed onto your blog 2 days ago, read one post and had to know more, so I went through and read every post because the story you two have is similar in many ways to mine, minus the children. In that, I don't envy the decisions and emotions you both have to deal with and I wish you both the best. While I don't understand the hardship of the involvement of children, the feeling of having to win your happiness at the cost of another's is a hard thing to handle. Disentangling things is difficult at best, so in your endeavors to be together and fully share in your love, I hope for nothing but all the happiness in the world for you both.
ReplyDelete(sorry for repost, had to edit a spelling error)
I too have been down this road. I met my 2nd husband in an internet chatroom. It was not a happy ending, we are divorced. To live with the man was something completely different from what he was on the internet. It progressed too fast and I had not divorced my 1st hubby. I don't want to be the negative nelly here either but having not met yet, you hope the feelings you have carry through to the real life thing. Children were involved, and it was a mess to disentangle. I wished I had divorced first before moving on, as it was heartache for many for a long time. My 2nd husband never trusted me as I met him while I was still married. The foundation for that relationship was not good. He came to see me a month after we started talking online and moved to live near me within 3 months. It was too fast and made things very difficult for me here and he was very demanding. I look back now and realize how insecure he was and how much he projected that into our relationship. We had agreed on a amicable divorce, but he changed fast and it was full of anger, bitterness, strife and he turned into a person full of revenge. I am not saying that is how it will be for the 2 of you, I just wanted to share my experiences. I do have a happy ending with someone else I had met online.
ReplyDeleteI went down that road again with my Daddy, it was definitely a different journey, I was still married to my 2nd husband but I had already determined it was over and I wanted out and told him so. Daddy & I didn't meet face to face until 9 months after talking online and on the phone, I was gunshy from my past relationship. I actually wasn't even interested in a relationship, we talked, flirted and he became my best friend and it slowly progressed into something more where we wanted to meet. He asked me and I set the date to meet about 5 months from that time. I wanted to make sure we both wanted it and it wasn't just a "fling" kind of thing. We took our time seeing each other for over 2 yrs long distance before we made it permanent, that was actually his idea and I am glad we took our time. This route was better I must say, it wasn't rushed, our relationship blossomed and grew into what it is today and became stronger. We have lived together now going on 2 yrs. Not saying we haven't had our bumps in the road, all relationships have that. Trust has been one thing for me obtain. Every relationship has things to work on.
My very best to you both.
Im glad you came to a definition!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in a D/s relationship, it was unable to be 24/7. I had a child through someone else and he was still just a newborn. I had too much on my plate to allow myself to give over all that control. I wanted to but was unable to at the time.
Any hoo... Big hugs. Glad you worked it out, can now define your relationship ... and you're right; who cares what everyone else thinks? Its you and him in this relationship.