SIR SUNDAY - 10 things

Sir Sunday – Ten things-The Dom edition.



The List……10 Things I love about His_Baby_Doll and 10 things I despise about my FX


Let me start from “my soapbox in the corner of the internet”


The things I love about HBD in no particular order;

1. Her smile, and not just her smile but how her face and eyes light up when she is happy and truly smiling. I do have photographic evidence of this and no I am not going to share, yes I am a selfish bastard

2. Her complete and utter love for me and the fact my complete love of her is accepted and returned.

3. The complete open and honest relationship we have, it makes the distance at least a little more bearable and it is the core block on which our whole relationship is built, as I often say “without our open and honest we wouldn't work”

4. I know even if we were “vanilla” we would love each other as strongly as we do right now, and it continues to grow every minute of every day.

5. We have very similar and complementing “kinks” and have genuine interests in the same topics and “fetishes”. Our excitement to learn is only limited by our imaginations.

6. Her compassion and ability to show love is the best I have ever had the pleasure of receiving and knowing.

7. Even though she will disagree with me I feel she is the sexiest woman I know and have ever had love me in return.

8. The BEST lover I have ever had!!!! (Enough said).

9. An incredible sense of humor that is always there even when we are being serious a joke or a side topic can pop in and out in full stride at full speed. HBD has a sharp wit and the intelligence to back it up.

10. The complete trust in me in all aspects of our lives.




The 10 things I despise about my FX. In no particular order;

1. Her complete lack of trust in me and my abilities. In every aspect of life.

2. The fact which has been proven time and time again that I am “not enough of a provider for the lifestyle she expects”

3. Her Temper and her “razor tongue” which when we argue and fight has a tendency to cut quick, cut deep and cut often.

4. How after vilifying my EX about taking me for granted for as long as she did is now doing the exact same thing and when confronted justifies the acts with the statement “when your EX did it she didn't love you”, the FX has a strange way of showing love.

5. Her lack of patience with important issues, her constant pushing of issues always causes more hurt than results.

6. When she feels stressed or cornered, whether or not she truly is, verbally she goes off on the people who are closest to her, further alienating and hurting the ones she professes to love.

7. Her recent inability to make a decision and stick to it since the boys were born is both frustrating and infuriating.

8. The level of financial ruin I have been pushed into (in the name of love) based on the level of purchases I needed to make to “even the score between her and my ex”

9. How there is no level of communication except “superficial” and “argue”

10. When during the 3rd trimester of her complicated pregnancy I had to stop having sex with her for her own health and safety. She tells me I have destroyed our intimacy and I need to “re court her and woo her back” and I then spent the next 4 months proving to her that I did love her and desire her, to no avail, I was still taken for granted and I told her what she was doing to me and it was met with cold indifference.


So now that that is out of my system let the healing begin, and this can serve as a reminder to me about all the wrongs in my last marriage and keep me and HBD from falling into the same patterns.

I love, cherish and truly desire you Babydoll.
Please marry me and spend the rest of our days together, happy and loved.
I love you, Truly, Madly, Deeply.
~DT

Feeling Helpless....

Things seem to be just spinning in crazy circles, and I can't keep my head above water right now. I'm drowning in a sea of emotions, happy, joy, excitement, dread, panic, apprehension, fear, anger, pain, and most of all right now helplessness.

DTs SO is a member of a social site that I belong to as well, it seems that she is using this site to create an alternate reality for herself. In addition to bouncing around like a rubber ball of love and dislike, she cycles from being angry and almost hateful about DT, to how he's the most wonderful man in the world. All her posts and thoughts seem to revolve around getting attention from others. Validation of her feelings. No matter what the current emotion is. It's frustrating for me to see, knowing there are so many lies. Its harder knowing that now DT sees these things and is hurt by the realization that his marriage is revolving around her lies. (Yes, I know he will read this, and no I'm not worried we share EVERYTHING)

Now for the heart of the matter, let's face it DT is still married, as am I. Which means, that we will have to share a bed with the SO's in our lives until we can extract ourselves. How do we do this without hurting each other? Well, try not to give too many details to start with. Think about each other while we're with the SO's, and then, of course, lean on each other after the fact because the mere act of being with the SO's hurts. Not just hurting each other, but it hurts on a personal level as well. I know, I was in that position this past weekend. And it HURT to be with my SO when I wanted so badly to be with DT. I thankfully can avoid this as my SO is away from home 2 or more weeks at a time. DT is not so lucky, he is with a woman that doesn't realize there is a problem and is grasping at everything she has to try and fix it. Which means "connecting" in a sexual manner.

I knew it happened tonight, I knew it before I talked to him. He wasn't here at the usual time. And no word that he would be away, that was the only possibility. When he did get back online I knew, from the way he typed that he was either not alone, or was concerned that I wasn't alone. Finally, it slipped out, without him saying the words he told me. And while I hurt for me, I ached for him, I felt his pain, regret...shame. There is nothing I can do to help him. I can assure him that I love him, I can be there for him to talk to. But nothing will take it away until we are together....eventually.

The thing is that she has started to draw on his/our kink, in a very vanilla way. A little hair pulling, a spank on the ass. But wait, what about the first time she ASKED him to spank her. And when he followed through because he thought it might fix them, she waited a couple days and threw it back in his face that he HIT her. Now again, she's asking for him to spank her, pull her hair etc. Where is this coming from? besides desperation?

We talked briefly, and that was very limited, and interrupted by her coming down for a baby bottle. He covered well, talking to his brother he said, he's tired he said. He tells his brother He loves him, and to call back when he's not so tired they'll talk later. I'm 2nd again...but I'm not I know I'm first in his heart and the one he loves.

Now for confession time....I'm scared. I'm afraid that she's going to win. What right do I have to come between them? What if she does have it in her to be a sub? What if what if what if? So, its been over an hour now, she's been feeding the baby. I know this takes time. But well, I know in my heart he won't be back tonight, and tomorrow I won't get my wake up call, so I'm off to cry myself to sleep.









Who said nothing could kill the high I've been flying since buying those tickets last night?

Marriage, sex, and this submissive's heart...

As you may...or may not know, Die_tryin and I, are married - but not to each other. He has been married to a very vanilla for a little over 2 years (a light swat on the butt and she's whining about why do you want to huuuuurt me), and I am married to a narcissistic abuser what I'm sure would say he wants to be a dominant if I would let him in on my desires. (The danger beacons are flashing)

This past week Die_Tryin was out of town for a couple days because of a training session for work. We had amazing nights on the phone lasting into the wee hours. Falling asleep to each others voices, sharing our hopes, dreams, and expectations. Then, he had to return home. Thursday night to be exact, so it was a short night for us a little chatting online but nothing like the nights we had just had. The nights that we couldn't get enough of. It was a painful thing for us both, his SO was angry and demanding as he drove home, but when he returned to the house she pretended that nothing had happened. How she thought that was going to improve things between them, neither of us can say.

Friday, he returned to work and found himself the recipient of several calls from her alluding to the fact she had a "reconnect" night planned for them. To say that this was a futile effort on her part is an understatement. But alas she tried. And he, well he had to play along - and will continue until he can remove himself from this complication in a manner that relieves some of his sense of responsibility.

Where did this leave me? Well, it left me alone last night, knowing that he was with her and that yes he is married to her, and yes he would have sex with her. And that is very painful for this submissive's heart.