I'm not sleeping well, not only because of this killer sore throat, difficulty breathing, and fits of lung crushing coughing. But on top of all that my head is spinning, full of thoughts and troubles that keep me awake no matter how hard I try to shut them down.
The foundation of my life with DT is open and honest communication. There is nothing we can't say to each other even if it hurts, we know that anything said is said with love, and the desire to be a strong and constantly growing couple. Here's the thing, sometimes you can say something raw, open, honest, lay your heart on the ground.....and still find that nothing changes. But it's still an issue, unresolved, and it hurts. A hurt so bad that it crawls inside you and begins to eat away at the one thing that makes you ....you. The only way to make the hurt go away is to talk about it. To tell him again what hurts, and why it hurts, even when you know that it's not going to change. Which hurts worse?? Talking about it and being hurt by the one you love and trust the most, or holding in and letting it eat away at you?
Right now, I've decided to just let it eat away at me...I'd rather hurt myself than be hurt by him.
Now, if I could only sleep........
