SIr Sunday

From My Soapbox in the corner of the Internet...

Sir Sunday

It's been a long time...........


Hello all and welcome back to Sir Sundays.

As most of our regular readers have noticed HBD and I have been more than a little absent for a long stretch of time.
Well I am here to say we are back and stronger than ever, still working through the "evolution" of our relationship and even our D/s dynamic. We had come to a point where we were both feeling a bit "stalled" ... still madly in love with one another but we were not sure how to address our future... HBD had eluded to a change in her and that we had talked it out. I am glad to say I am proud of My Babydoll, the conversation was hard for her and she showed great courage. We have discussed and adjusted our path.
Not many of you know this as I don't recall it ever being in our blog before, the "official" anniversary of HBD becoming my Submissive is 5-9-09 and yes we are nearing it. Our official commitment which was blogged about is 7-22-09, and that brings me to one more date 4-13-10. That is the date HBD was Registered in the SLRN as an Owned and collared slave of Sir Die Tryin and in doing so she has become my slave. This has changed our dynamic in a direction that almost a year ago we had not seen but now openly embrace. HBD is still working on the transition mentally and we both realized when we first started talking and our relationship started we were both novices to the lifestyle, we had read a lot about it and had a lot of pre-conceived ideas and concepts about lifestyle that we have grown past or changed our minds on through the last year.
We will continue to grow in our path and enjoy each other learning as we go. And I have some really exciting news..... HBD is coming to me again for a quick visit and for those of you keeping score it has been since Dec 2 last year since we have touched one another.
She will be in my arms and my bonds in little less than 2 weeks. We are going to have an official collaring ...and of course lots of NSFW fun for us.... stay tuned loyal readers

~DT

Sir Sunday

Sir Sunday,

Accounting for my Sins against HBD




As you all have read I have wronged the most important person in my world, the one who loves me completely and with every fiber of her being. I have damaged possibly beyond repair the most important aspect of our relationship, trust. I did this by promising, in a cowardly moment to do one thing, knowing for selfish reasons that I was not ready to follow through. In short, I lied. There is no excuse for this behavior and any explanation past “I lied” is a weak excuse, so I am not going to make any other than I lied plain and simple.

The last 10 days have been particularly rough on both of us due to the holidays and visitation of the FX’s. I knew things were bad, but until a few nights ago I didn’t truly know. HBD was ready to call it quits, she has been wounded deeply, and I know I am the cause.

Do I wish I had done things differently? Yes. Do I hope we can go forward? Yes. Do I think HBD is justified in being cautious in regards to my word? Yes.

As you have no doubt read in the post yesterday, HBD has at this point and against her fear, has given me another chance; I know this is based on her love for me. But I also know this is the start of a long cautious journey to return to where we once were. I have completely destroyed the trust of her Brat and even hurt her desire to submit. While these are a part of who we were, and until they return (if they return ever) will be missed they are not solely what define us or our relationship, HBD is my friend, my confidant, my partner, my lover, my sub, my brat, and in my heart my wife. As you can see by that list there is more to us.

HBD, while I know you have no reason to believe me past face value at this moment in our lives, I am making this vow to you, I have the patience to go the distance, I can’t think of a better partner than you for a long journey. I have never stopped loving you and will love you until I breathe my last breath. I treasure you and the gifts you have given me and I will diligently work to earn them back and keep them.

My dearest Brat, while I know you are in deep hiding and may never choose to trust me enough to come out to play, or even to give me a spirited “you can’t catch me, old man”.

I need to speak to you if you will listen. My dearest Brat, you showed yourself to me and we were just getting started, you were in the early stage of trusting me and I betrayed you. I am hoping with time, love and patience you might come back. I also was told to tell you, your friend the animal misses you.

~DT

SIR SUNDAY - 10 things

Sir Sunday – Ten things-The Dom edition.



The List……10 Things I love about His_Baby_Doll and 10 things I despise about my FX


Let me start from “my soapbox in the corner of the internet”


The things I love about HBD in no particular order;

1. Her smile, and not just her smile but how her face and eyes light up when she is happy and truly smiling. I do have photographic evidence of this and no I am not going to share, yes I am a selfish bastard

2. Her complete and utter love for me and the fact my complete love of her is accepted and returned.

3. The complete open and honest relationship we have, it makes the distance at least a little more bearable and it is the core block on which our whole relationship is built, as I often say “without our open and honest we wouldn't work”

4. I know even if we were “vanilla” we would love each other as strongly as we do right now, and it continues to grow every minute of every day.

5. We have very similar and complementing “kinks” and have genuine interests in the same topics and “fetishes”. Our excitement to learn is only limited by our imaginations.

6. Her compassion and ability to show love is the best I have ever had the pleasure of receiving and knowing.

7. Even though she will disagree with me I feel she is the sexiest woman I know and have ever had love me in return.

8. The BEST lover I have ever had!!!! (Enough said).

9. An incredible sense of humor that is always there even when we are being serious a joke or a side topic can pop in and out in full stride at full speed. HBD has a sharp wit and the intelligence to back it up.

10. The complete trust in me in all aspects of our lives.




The 10 things I despise about my FX. In no particular order;

1. Her complete lack of trust in me and my abilities. In every aspect of life.

2. The fact which has been proven time and time again that I am “not enough of a provider for the lifestyle she expects”

3. Her Temper and her “razor tongue” which when we argue and fight has a tendency to cut quick, cut deep and cut often.

4. How after vilifying my EX about taking me for granted for as long as she did is now doing the exact same thing and when confronted justifies the acts with the statement “when your EX did it she didn't love you”, the FX has a strange way of showing love.

5. Her lack of patience with important issues, her constant pushing of issues always causes more hurt than results.

6. When she feels stressed or cornered, whether or not she truly is, verbally she goes off on the people who are closest to her, further alienating and hurting the ones she professes to love.

7. Her recent inability to make a decision and stick to it since the boys were born is both frustrating and infuriating.

8. The level of financial ruin I have been pushed into (in the name of love) based on the level of purchases I needed to make to “even the score between her and my ex”

9. How there is no level of communication except “superficial” and “argue”

10. When during the 3rd trimester of her complicated pregnancy I had to stop having sex with her for her own health and safety. She tells me I have destroyed our intimacy and I need to “re court her and woo her back” and I then spent the next 4 months proving to her that I did love her and desire her, to no avail, I was still taken for granted and I told her what she was doing to me and it was met with cold indifference.


So now that that is out of my system let the healing begin, and this can serve as a reminder to me about all the wrongs in my last marriage and keep me and HBD from falling into the same patterns.

I love, cherish and truly desire you Babydoll.
Please marry me and spend the rest of our days together, happy and loved.
I love you, Truly, Madly, Deeply.
~DT

Sir Sunday - Back to the west

Sir Sunday

Back to the West……..

Ranting, raving, and musing from “my soapbox in the corner of the internet”

As any of you have read the blog lately, you no doubt have noticed the countdown ticker in the top left. Yes, it is time for me to go and visit HBD again! We promise to take pictures and blog about our deviantly fun times.

So with the tickets bought and schedules arranged the discussion has moved to the actual trip. We are discussing our goals for the trip, our needs, and our desires, all to fit in our limited time together. HBD wants to claim her bragging rights again, and who am I to stop that, it is a great start to a visit. We have both expressed in very graphic terms described the more animal desires. Then there is the rope….. HBD is really in for it this time I am feeling a lot more comfortable in tying her up after recapping the first time in Denver and my looking around for more shibari knots to use with her. There are the Showers and snuggling But we have also discussed a few more vanilla pursuits, like an evening out, catching a movie, more mundane everyday life things.

These things are part of the reason I love HBD, we communicate and fit well together, her desires are met and she meets and exceeds my desires on a regular basis.
I am sure this trip will be nothing short of epic, and the stuff blog posts are made of.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and we will be reporting back around the end of October with our exploits.

I love you Babydoll and cannot wait until we are together again, Loving, Touching, Squeezing……each other….. (Sorry to any Journey fans out there).

~DT

Sir Sunday- Back on my "Soap Box"

Sir Sunday


Rants and ravings from my soapbox in the corner of the internet.


I know it has been a while since I have been up here on my soapbox, it has been too long. But as you all know there has been a lot of life-changing events in both my and HBD’s lives. There is no need to recap them all, but it had taken both HBD's and my desire to write for a bit and due to security concerns we have been forced underground and private for now. But now we are slowly coming back to the blog and our e-friends.
I had a different topic in mind when I sat down to write this post but like is usually the case I seem to have abandoned the original topic for whatever seems to come pouring out of my brain.

These last 4 or so weeks have been complete and utter hell for HBD and me, between her FX being home for 3 weekends in a row and his unpredictable moods, (which I swear he is on drugs) and my FX and her incessant crying and whining about how bad her life is. Her FX has taken to calling me on the phone and trying to “get to know the man that makes his wife happy”.(wtf) A lame attempt at trying to control the situation, as we are trying to convince him that we are working on a “poly” relationship, this is just to try and keep him calm and HBD safe. He is constantly flip-flopping back and forth about making it work to calling me and texting me to tell me HBD is all mine and he hopes we are happy. (How many times does he have to do that before I can say “dude are you serious this time?”) This has to stop eventually …right?

Well, I know this is a short recap and gripe fest, but I have to start somewhere to get back on the blogging track and this seemed like as good a place as any.




Now I would like to put a couple of Poems I recently wrote for HBD here, for her and your reading pleasure.



With you...

When I'm with you,
Eternity is a step away,
My love continues to grow,
With each passing day.

This treasure of love,
I cherish within my soul,
How much I love you...
You’ll never really know.

You bring joy to my heart,
I've never felt before,
With each touch of your hand,
I love you more and more.

Whenever we say goodbye,
Whenever we part,
Know I hold you dearly,
Deep inside my heart.

So these seven words,
I pray you hold true,
"Forever and Always,
I Will Love You."


Need you

I love you more than all the stars in the sky.
I love you more as each moment passes us by.
I love you more with every breath I take.
I love you more with each promise we make.

I need you like a flower needs the rain.
I need you for you can wash away my pain.
I need you more each day
I need you for you are so wonderful, in every single way.

I miss you more than ever now.
I miss you because I really need you somehow.
I miss you and your touch.
I miss you for to me, you mean so much.

I want you to caress my lips the way you always do.
I want you to look into my eyes and see my love for you.
I want you to hold me close to your heart.
I want you to know that I love you, need you, miss you and want you
And I have for every single moment, right from the start.


Thank you for taking the time to read my post from my soapbox in this corner of the internet.
HBD you know I love you, I NEED you, and desire only you, you are my one and only for the rest of my life, you are truly my better half.
~DT

His touch....HNT

Right now, all I can think about is his touch. The way his hand feels brushing against my skin. The gentle way he has of caressing me while I sleep, Does he even realize that he does it? His fingers brush against my body and it soothes me. And I sleep, better than I ever have before.

Then there is the urgent touch of his fingers on my nipples, as they tease and torment my body, slipping to play with my clit, its this touch that bends me, breaks me, and gives me life. I want him, I need him...and with this touch, the hunger in me burns hot and urgent.

Its the way his arms wrap around me, protecting me from all that is dark in the world. The past that haunts me, the future that terrifies me. They all slip away and they leave me only peace. Nothing can harm me enveloped in his arms, his strong chest holding me up, his heart beating against my cheek as I sleep.

Countered by the sting of his hand as it falls against my ass repetitively, bringing me to newer heights of pleasure. There is a soothing sense of calm that comes over me as it falls again, and again against my tender flesh. Heated and red, the sting stays with me when he is finished.

But it's his kiss that I miss the most, soft, tender, loving, hungry, needy, tasting me, drawing me into him....there are millions of feelings, and unlimited emotions wrapped up in those seemingly simple touches.

There is nothing simple about all the ways we touch. There is nothing simple about him, or me, but there is one pure and simple thing that is us....and that is our love.

Thank you, Sir,






and now......don't forget to stop by osbasso's and see all the rest of the HNT goodness!

all the drama...

I know my blog posts have been few and far between recently. There are several reasons, my job of course, and then there is the drama of my future ex (FX). Added to that there is the stress that DT has been going through by moving his family halfway across the country.

Just an update that things in my camp have gone from bad to worse. My husband knows about DT and I being in love, for now, we are telling him that we are all pursuing a poly life. So, much of my venting and ranting in the next few weeks will be all about trying to work through his issues at being poly. I have to do something or he will cut off my communication with DT and that is something that neither of us could stand.

For now, things are this way...DT and I are working to get him to Denver, where we can get him settled and then move me and my girls out to him once I'm out of my situation. Let's just pray this all falls together soon for all of our sake.

Struggling...

I'm struggling right now...




As many of you know DT and I have a completely open and honest relationship. There are no secrets, and we are not afraid to tell each other EXACTLY how we feel. Normally this is a very calming and refreshing feeling for me. But tonight, I'm struggling with it.

I'm mad at him. Honestly MAD, this is a first for us. I have never been mad at him, and while I can't speak for him I do not believe he has ever been truly mad at me either. The bad part is that I find myself in a position of having to put open and honest aside in order to keep this added stress off him while he's getting his SO moved out. He did something that made me mad, and it can't be undone now. So, why even let it fester until he's home? Because I can't NOT tell him.

Now to top this off, I have all these major emotions going right now, we hardly talked yesterday because of packing, we hardly spoke today because of loading the truck. Then he had to go to a neighbors house to clean up and sleep because the AC at their house froze up and it's too hot to stay home. This is two nights that I was counting on having him to help me through this. Now I'm going into the worst few days of my life with him to date, and I'm floundering because I wasn't able to have the time I needed to be open and honest with him today. This is NOT a trend that I want to see starting with us.

I will admit that having to repress this open honesty is like telling me to stop breathing, it's crushing me.

We Interrupt this story with a reality break !!!..... AGAIN!!!!!!!!

Sir Sunday

We interrupt this story with a reality break !!!..... AGAIN!!!!!!!!

Hello again, it must be Sunday again because here I am “on my soapbox in this corner of the internet”. I know today is to a much smaller audience as we recently had to go “underground” and “private” for a bit as we regroup from a bit of a “Reality check”. As you all read in the last post, HBD's FX found the blog,. And luckily for us, the combination of his confrontational nature and his low IQ kept HBD a little safe from him finding out the WHOLE story. (He couldn't get past HBD's sexy pictures from the last HNT). This has truly confirmed in my mind that he is truly just a walking penis, with no cares for HBD except for the express use of her body for his own pleasure. As HBD and I have full disclosure about all things past and present, I am at least familiar with his “shortcomings” in the role of the lover. This latest tirade from the FX is another in a long line of episodes that have me apologizing for Men as a whole.

I had asked HBD earlier if things in her marriage had ever been “good” at one point, (from being married twice myself I know at one point both of my marriages had been good, then through life and personal growth and atrophy things fell into disrepair). Here is a little transcript:

HBD:.....when things were "good" between us, well let's face it he never was really in one place long enough to make connections

DT: true enough, how long did things stay good?

HBD: honestly? good, or just my perception of good?

DT: honestly
.
HBD: My perception of good, mmmm, until about a year and a half ago.........truly good......never

DT: I am sorry that your marriage was never "good"...

HBD: Don't be. I didn't realize it wasn't, in my mind it was great.

HBD: I just didn't see the wrongs in it

DT: I know but on discovery, there has to be some regret

HBD: Yeah, there is. But on the other hand, I realize I had to go through that to be where I am now. Some times the reward outweighs the regret. And if I dwell on that regret I mentally put myself back into being beat down.

DT: well I won't let you go back there, lover...

HBD: I know, and I Thank You for that. You've pulled me back out of that hole, its kinda funny to say that I'm not leaving this marriage and the hell I live in for you, I am leaving it for me. But then to turn around and say that I never would have done it without you. It seems to be a contradiction of terms.




DT: All I did was shine the light and show you the "rope' (I know metaphor overload) you had to be willing to climb it for your self, I cannot make you climb it

HBD: Exactly...some days I feel like I just need to clarify that again. I'm not leaving my current because of us, I would do it anyway.

DT: I know lover, I wouldn't have it any other way

HBD: you and us, are just the icing on the cake

DT: Exactly Babydoll...







Now looking at this exchange between us, this is a common occurrence, we are always helping each other, not just in lifestyle but in life. I am proud to say I am completely in love with the whole person that is HBD, not just the sexy part ( well that is a great bonus). I want to thank you HBD for allowing me to love you, help you and nurture you. I am so very proud of the strides you are making and I will be here for you every step of the way, forever and a day!

~DT

PAIN

Sir Sunday

From the Mind of Sir Die_Tryin.

PAIN







The topic today is pain, unfortunately not the good ecstasy kind of pain derived from a good and vigorous “play” session. The kind of pain I am referring to is the deep pain in a situation that has gone beyond your control and you feel helpless to protect or help the other party involved.

This weekend was one of those long painful sessions when HBD's SO was home, as the regular readers know his job keeps him on the road for extended periods of time, not long enough by either of our likings. A little background about HBD's SO, he is EX military, an abuser, mental and emotional at this point but has a distinct potential for the physical abuse, it has surfaced in little manifestations up until now. He is a large man over 6' tall and weighing in over 280 lbs while HBD is a petite thing at just over 5' and less than 140 lbs. She is defiantly fighting out of her weight class. He is a bully by nature and uses his size to intimidate HBD and others as a means to get his way, and like all bullies when you show indifference or defiance it pushes them to the physical.

The last two days have been unbearable for me, they were going to discuss the plans for their impending divorce and separation, the details of who gets what and who pays for what. All their phone calls on this topic have always ended with him screaming and threatening to turn off all the utilities and services to the house. You can see where my helplessness has kicked in, being 1600 miles away doesn't help. So now where the pain begins.

He came home Friday late and interrupted our normal evening chatting and communication, he was in a foul mood and already starting shit. His whole focus was to get a sexual "release" and attempted everything he could to get HBD to comply. HBD has told him in no uncertain terms that there will never be any kind of intimate contact between them ever again. She has told him this on many occasions since her intent to divorce has been made open. He continually runs the gambit from the light and joking “friends with benefits” to actual threats of “rape” and he even started the actions once hoping to scare her into it. Now we move forward a bit, to the last two weeks when he has been talking to a woman we all know who herself is in a lie of a marriage - forced into what she thinks is an “open marriage” in order to keep her husband (I might touch more on her in a later rant) We will call her Iris the whore, she is a actually a self-professed “swinger” along with her husband and has a personal beef with HBD and myself over some Internet drama on a web site we all frequent, (this would be how I know about Iris' proclivities? At one time she had made moves on me prior to HBD and I becoming a couple, this is just some of the internet drama) Now Iris the whore has taken an interest in HBD's SO and started him down the path of attempting to “force” HBD into an “Open marriage” like her own. HBD has no desire to participate in this with him and has told him he is free to do whatever or whoever he wants she does not care what he does and do not care to know anything about it. He is intent on going out to Iris the whore on his way through her town this week, in fact, the bulk of today was spent with him talking to Iris the whore while HBD was sitting a mere foot away and he the whole time he was alluding to his plans with Iris the whore. When the topic of if or when HBD finds someone to be intimate with, he interjects that she cannot have anyone unless she gives him a piece of herself first and he will continue to “have her until the divorce is final”. WTF this guy is a fucking tool, he then goes on to whine to HBD that he wants her to help him find lovers for him, (OMG is this asshole for real?) Now before I get sounding all holier than thou and like a sanctimonious prick. He really thinks he is going to make it impossible for HBD to leave by his actions as well as by mentally and emotionally beating her into thinking she can't survive without him, then go on the road and fuck anything he wants and come home to have her service him and she is supposed to just accept it? All he seems to want at this point from HBD is a hole to get off in. Again WTF!!!!! When will this jackass get a clue and realize that Don't touch me means just that DON'T TOUCH ME! And that he will never have intimate relations with her again. Separated means they are done. Even if he does want to work things out like he still says he wants to, you don't go OPENLY flaunting your plans to bed a whore in front of the woman you claim to want to fix things with.

I've gotten a bit off topic so now will touch a bit more on the pain, knowing his potential for violence and that his one driving focus is his penis, as well as his mental instability, every moment there is no contact with HBD sends me to dark places, is she OK, mentally, physically, emotionally. Has he beat her self esteem down to the point that she has given up her resolve to end things between them, has she withdrawn from thinking about leaving him, is she contemplating ending us. This thought is almost too much to bear, too much for my soul to take, I have made a vow to her to always protect her and nurture her and be her partner. I feel bad for feeling so weak, for allowing myself to be overtaken by these emotions, I know that HBD is devoted to me, I know she loves me, and I know she wants us. I pray he gets a clue soon and gives up before it gets ugly.

Until then all I can do is continue to be here for HBD and untangle my own situation, to work on getting us together, forever and a day

I love you Babydoll, and can't imagine a life without you, just be strong.

~DT (with edits from HBD)

A brief note from HBD
I have read this blog post more than once and edited it slightly for content. DT speaks for me, my thoughts, my fears, my feelings, my wants, and desires. These are things he is fully aware of, we have no secrets and are completely honest with each other. So, when he said that I have told my SO there will be no intimate contact, he has heard this straight from me, and it is the pure and simple truth.

I love this man Die_Tryin, he is everything that I have ever looked for in a man, things I didn't know I needed to feel complete. We are a perfect fit, made from complementary molds. I will be with him, forever...and a day.

OH, and don't forget to run over to my Tumblr page!!

Face to Face

I'm looking at this weekend and just know that it will be a horrid time for Die_Tryin and myself. His SO is a basket-case, she's seeing hope where there is none, looking to god for help, and in the next breath, she is ready to kick him out and show him just what it is that she's made of. On top of that, my SO will be home for the weekend. I'd be a liar if I said I'm not afraid. I am, he's been too nice, too "thoughtful", I suspect that his anger is building inside just waiting for the moment he comes home and I make him mad. Time will tell...

So, I thought I would take a moment to talk about SEX. More specifically the sex that took place between DT and me, when we met for the first time. However, as I've written this its turned into something else.



We've known each other since January, been serious about each other since April. But we had never met face to face. Hours of chatting, and phone calls...webcams and hot phone sex...but to stand before each other stripped down and bare under the harsh light of day. How awkward would this moment be? Would we be shy and hesitant? embarrassed? frightened? Would he run away when he saw my C-section scar, the stretch marks from 4 pregnancies, my less than perky breasts? Would he be repulsed by my chubby arms and soft tummy?

Really I've never been a hard body, I'm short and have a fairly large bone structure, my feet are too big, my fingers are long, my breasts are large, my butt a bit too big. I've always been soft and had curves. Hell, my ob/gyn told me at 18 that I had the perfect hips for carrying babies. My image of myself is less than attractive, not ugly or fat. But chubby and plain. How was this going to work? How could I take my clothes off in front of this man I had never met?


From the mind of Sir Die_Tryin.


Today my lover HBD asked me to write some specific thoughts on our first meeting, so without further stalling here it goes, Raw live and uncut (well-edited just a bit for spelling).

It is Monday morning I am headed for my normal daily work routine that consists of a call to HBD on my way to the office. But today is different I am not headed back to the place where I live, instead, I am going to catch a flight to Denver to have my first in-person meeting with HBD. The day was a busy day at work like most before any kind of trip, my employers only know I'll be back Friday it is “personal travel” and none of their business. So the day ends and I have a 7:00 pm flight, good thing the airport is only 15 minutes away. I check my itinerary and realize in a moment of almost panic that I only have a travel agency reservation number and not the airline confirmation number, so no early check-in for me, 30 minutes wasted. I leave work and call HBD, she is in route to the Hotel we talk to the parking service and the shuttle ride and then to the ticket counter, turns out my panic was not needed. Now I am a fairly regular traveler I should have known this, this is the first clue I am getting nervous. I get my boarding pass and head for the security checkpoint, HBD and I say goodbye for a couple of minutes until I clear security and am headed to my gate, I realize I am feeling a little anxious but chalk it up to the plane saying departing on time in 20 minutes but no plane at the gate. I am chatting with HBD we are keeping the conversation light as I am having to pay attention to the announcements. Finally, time to board, I jump in the line and get to my seat, and finish talking with HBD, at this point the flight is leaving 20 minutes late but expecting to be in early by 30 minutes (go figure). I am now alone with my thoughts, I am now thinking about our first meeting, how I want and hope it will go, we both know what the other looks like, so the physical is out of the way, or is it? Now the “what if's” start to invade my mind, What if she doesn't show up, what if she can't stand me, what if we don't “work” in person. The flight is full I try to rest but I can't the jackass next to me is snoring and trying to molest my shoulder so I am having to be on edge for my shoulders virtue. We land at the connector airport, again I call HBD, she is in Denver and getting ready for me, fears are subsiding, I have 20 minutes to boarding and have to go to the end of a different terminal, I call HBD and do my best impression of an Olympic speed walker to get to the next gate, the pace occupies my brain and lets me quiet the fears.

On to the next leg, another full flight, another snoring middle seat passenger the difference is this one prefers to lean to the isle, whew, at least I can be as comfortable as a 6.0' tall big man can be outside of 1st class. I manage to read and listen to the MP3 player for a bit, as we come in on final approach there is a vicious thunderstorm brewing as we fly in. stuck on the ground, all operations suspended due to lightning strikes near the Airport, we are 300 feet from deplaning, and stuck waiting.

Cell phones are allowed, I call HBD, she sounds frantic and in the car, my first thought is she isn't coming to meet me, she is headed home, then she says the roads are bad and she is headed to the airport. So after about 30 minutes they let us off the plane, HBD is just parking, so I am wandering the airport and talking to her,

Now if you go back to the “Sir Sunday” from the Sunday before "Waiting is the hardest part”, you will see my vision of our first touch and kiss, no I will tell you it went similar to that vision, I saw her as she came up the escalator she didn't see me I was awestruck at her beauty, her grace as she walked to the directory sign and instructed her to read some of it to me. As I drew closer I got a whiff of her perfume, it was heavenly, I quietly set my bags down as I wrapped her up in my arms and whispered in her ear “I'm here Babydoll”. I felt her trembling slightly as I held her and enjoyed the feel of our first touch, I kissed her neck and then I spun her to hug her and kiss her properly, and what a kiss it was. I know in reality the Kiss was only a brief moment, but it seemed to last a lifetime, A perfect lifetime, we kissed like familiar lovers with more knowledge than we should have had for a first meeting. After we finished that first kiss we kissed again and again, like two love drunk teenagers. I have to tell you all the first meeting was beyond my wildest dreams and expectations. Eventually, we will get to more of the emotions around our more intimate encounters.


~DT



Well, let me just say that he didn't run, he took me in his arms, he held me...he loved me. The sex was tender and loving, slow and easy everything I needed and had never had. There wasn't a moment of discomfort, no embarrassment, no awkward moments, I wasn't shy and I never tried to hide my perceived flaws from him. His touch, his kisses, and the way he possessed my body all left me feeling cherished, and yes beautiful. Me??? Beautiful??? How is that possible?

I'm sure you are dying to know how I saw my Sir the first time. I saw his eyes the way they looked at me, and the love that was waiting there. His smile, when he made me laugh. when he leaned in to kiss me. His broad shoulders that were there for me to lean on, and the chest between them where I rested my head...safe....listening to his heartbeat in time with mine. His arms, strong and sure, they held me close and sheltered me. Then his hands, these are the hands of a man that works with them, well worn from days of working, the touch tender, but firm, soft, but possessive, they owned my body. His legs, muscular and able to stand tall in the roughest storm. His sexy ass, the one I couldn't resist touching, grabbing, kissing. And yes his cock, long and hard, thick and throbbing. Wanting me, there was no doubt this man wanted me. Just as there was no doubt that this man loved me, cherished me, and found me beautiful.

Sir Sunday An analogy of the building blocks of relationships

Hello again, it is Sunday and time for me to step on my soapbox in this little corner of the internet. We apologize for the little interruption of our daily blog Service but HBD was a little “tied up”, who the hell am I kidding she was “a lot tied up”,

After an incredible first “get away” with HBD, I was reflecting on the dynamics of our relationship and the parts that make it work when all the conventional wisdom tells us it shouldn't. We have the very deep trust, (the most important ingredient, more on this later) then we have the friendship, our commitment, our partnership, our confidant roles and last but not least our similar “lifestyle” kinks.

So as I was reflecting on this sitting in a coffee shop I started thinking of relationships as a whole and started likening them to the espresso beverages that people order. Let's start with some drinks, (and if I don't name your favorite I'm sorry). There is the “straight” espresso, the “shot” as it were, then there is the Cappuccino, Latte, Mocha, Macchiato, Ristretto, Americano, and the Lungo. What do all these drinks have in common you ask? They are all a relationship built on a single block of espresso.

What does this have to do with real relationships? Well, the Espresso is the “trust” in a relationship if you start with good, fresh roasted and properly ground espresso beans, then tamp the grounds into the “portafilter” and then use the proper combination of time, temperature and extraction you will have a perfect building block for the rest of your beverage relationship. Does this mean any one of these drinks is better than another? No that is all personal preference, like is a “vanilla” couple better than a “Poly” relationship? Or a D/s or an M/s? again no. They are just different and based on personal preferences. Now back to this building block of trust, trust is the most important part of any relationship. Similar to if you remove the espresso form a Latte you just have steamed milk.

As I watched the customers come and go and order their drinks, I noticed an interesting trend, a handful of people ordered a “cappuccino” and then proceeded to complain to the barista, where is the vanilla syrup, where is the chocolate? This makes me laugh a little bit as people will order things with familiar names even thought it is not what they want, or even desire something else. Very much like people who don't trust their prospective partner to be honest enough with their wants and desires. I too have been guilty of this in the past, but now with HBD we have laid everything out in the open, all wants, desires, fears, and issues as they arise, there is a true trust here. I am hoping that all of my (small group) of readers will get to experience this at least once in their lives.

This trust made for an incredible trip, there was never an awkward moment, we were completely comfortable in all situations, even spending most of the trip naked and in each other's arms. We both slept deeper than we have since we were children safe in the care of our or parents. Yes, we had earth-moving love making and hot and sweaty sex and everything in between. There were a couple of moments where HBD drifted off to “subspace” a feat I had not expected to bring out in our first meeting let alone twice! Again this is possible due to trust. I am quite sure HBD will fill in the details in later posts as I have already gone beyond what a gentleman should tell.


Thank you Babydoll for loving me, trusting me, and the gift of your submission to me.

~DT

Where to start....

Well, I've been back a couple days now. Die_Tryin is back at home, and life should return to normal right???? RIGHT????

WHAT it'll never be normal again? sigh...you're right nothing will ever be "normal" for this sub or her Dom again. Why? well if you've been following us any length of time you know that DT and I had our first (with many more to come) face to face visits this week. That time together has changed us, molded us, and sealed our fates. We cannot continue in the path we were on, the only path is the one towards each other.

DT came in, and a storm blew in just as I had to take off to get him. Of course, the amount of traffic and the vast quantity of water on the roads slowed me down and I was late. I have to tell you I was nearly in tears talking to him on my way to the airport I knew that he had to be disappointed that I wasn't there. Luckily his plane was held on the runway due to lightning and I wasn't very late at all. I found my way to the terminal and found a landmark that he knew he could find. And I waited, feeling silly as I read the directory to him. Then..yes that's when I saw someone behind me, bend over to put down a bag, and I knew it was him. He wrapped his arms around me pulling me back against him. Those strong arms holding me close were all I needed to finally relax. My Dom was there, with me, and he was holding me. I could have cried. He loosened his grip and turned me to face him, and that is where I got the kiss....that first kiss. It was everything I had hoped for and more.

When it comes to that kiss I have to tell you all that I warned him beforehand that while I never measure him against the men in my past at this moment I would, because I met my SO at the airport the first time as well. Now, let me tell you all, that the meeting with my SO and that kiss couldn't have been farther from my mind. In fact, it was just as I started writing this that I remembered it. For the record, my Sir has these lips that just beg to be kissed, and does he know how to use them!!!!!!

I had to find a bathroom at this point and he led me off to the restrooms. Kissing, touching, laughing, talking....loving being together. I came back out, kissed him for all I thought I was worth, and we headed back off to the car. It was several minutes of us laughing, kissing, and just being amazed that we were together finally. We got to the car and I handed him my keys, we put his bags in the car and it started to rain. He opened my door for me - Ladies this is a true gentleman - and we stood there, neither one of us caring about the rain kissing again, feeling the others touch not wanting to part but knowing what awaited us.

Yes, I let him drive us back to the hotel. This was no small feat for me. I do not trust people to drive with me in the car, even my SO who is an over the road truck driver, I panic I back seat drive, I panic! But with my Sir, I was relaxed and gave up control of the car freely. That was one of many moments that clarified my trust for this man. The one I have given my heart, soul, and now body to.

I have so many things to say about this trip, I'm sure they'll keep me writing for WEEKS!!

Sir Sunday 7-19-09 Waiting is the Hardest Part

Sir Sunday

7-19-09

Waiting is the Hardest Part



To all the music lovers I apologize to you I do not have the voice of our friend Pure Epiphany (be sure to visit her at The Fallacy of Epiphany, unfortunately, you will need to read German) So I will spare you the rendition of me singing “Waiting is the hardest part” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
.
Tom Petty - The Waiting Lyrics @ LyricsTime.com

Originally I was going to post about what I was going to do when I first meet HBD at the airport, but that has fallen away from my thoughts and I will touch on that later. I have moved to thinking about the future and where we are headed, our situations and circumstances are moving faster than we ever imagined when we first started “playing” as a pair of good friends. She has a roller coaster ride of emotions from her SO and I do too, there is at least one if not 2 moves on the horizon for us in the next 45 days. So with reality looming and life-changing, we are meeting each other for the first time in person, I have no doubts this will be the largest event in either of our lives. When the trip was booked we were so ecstatic and wondering if we could survive the wait, and now in the last 24 hours the waiting is almost unbearable, truly the waiting is the hardest part.

Now I am sure HBD has been fixating on our first meeting with all the usual thoughts and fears, she has shared them with me and I have shared mine with her, as regular readers know there are no secrets between us, it is a truly liberating feeling. So at her request, I am going to share my “vision” of our first meeting at the Airport. We have agreed to meet at a central “landmark” to facilitate ease of finding each other. So here it goes from the vision and mind of Die_Tryin.

As I debark the plane I power up my cell phone and dial the familiar phone number for HBD,. She answers in her sultry tones “Hello Lover, I am waiting for you”, I reply “Hello Love, I am headed to you now”, small talk continues as I clear the security checkpoint and take the escalator to get to the agreed meeting location, “I am going to hide and make you look for me” HBD taunts, showing her bratty side. “are you asking for a spanking later?” I ask, “Yes Sir” she replies. I have been scanning the crowd which is pretty thin due to the late hour. I know what she is wearing, we have discussed it for weeks now and even though I have never seen it I can still see it. I spot her, she has her back to me, arm across her stomach, and cell phone to her ear, I start walking a little quicker and start her talking on a topic that she can talk for a bit on. I approach quietly and as she finishes and asks “so where are you?” A whisper in her ear as I wrap her up in a hug from behind “right here lover”. I loosen my hug to allow her to spin in my arms and face me, we look into each other's eyes and with a smile, we kiss a long, slow, leave the world, kiss. Then we hug harder, then as we separate continue to hold hands, facing each other, speechless and smiling. After a couple of minutes we kiss again, and after we finish she says “ I thought you would never get here”.......... The rest is for later posts

~DT

A Dom with OCD?

Sir Sunday 7-12-09

From the mind of Die_Tryin


Today I am starting with a question.
“Have you ever gotten fixated on a new idea or pastime that has consumed your thoughts to almost the point of not functioning?”

Well for me it is not too far of a trip, I have a mild form of OCD toward new experiences and “hobbies” couple that with a Virgo birth-sign...well now you know why I have “geek” tendencies.

So the OCD makes all new things a heavy focus and the Virgo in me makes me research it until I am a “book” master of the subject or task at hand. HBD mentioned in her blog post "Everyone should love a geek". I quote HBD "A Geek will study anything and everything from anatomy to physics, to the pure science of sex itself with an un-dying passion. " so that is part of what makes me a “Geek”.

So as you have been reading HBD and I are on a journey of mutual as well as self discovery, in our lives and our lifestyle. In these discoveries the latest one to surface is a mutual appreciation and interest, in rope play of all types, we are both novices, yet when I look at it my OCD kicks in and I am already trying to figure out Shibari a very advanced form of Japanese rope bondage, now that is just like me Run before I am even walking, so I have to remind myself to learn the basics before going to the advanced. Who knows Someday HBD will “Fly” by my rope work, but until then I have to remember to practice and take it slow, It is a good thing I have a great loving and trusting partner in my HBD.

~DT

Everyone should love a Geek...

If you've never met my Sir Die_Tryin, you'd never know that he is a Geek. With a capital G, and I have to tell you that there is nothing sexier than a Geek. I was once told that a nerd thinks they know it all, and a Geek knows it. Well, let me assure you all that this is true, DT knows it all, but he's just too modest to admit it. Oh sure he'll admit to having a vast quantity of useless knowledge, but that is selling himself short.

Thinking about all the Geeks I know I find most of them a little awkward, quiet, and shy. Very modest and unassuming. But do any of them realize they run the world as we know it? Of course, they do, deep down. But you won't find them bragging it up.

Why am I drawn to my Geek? Is it his love of Kink? No, that's a bonus. However, I will not deny that his mind and the way he uses it to learn and absorb all things D/s is extremely sexy. Smart is the new sexy after all. I fully expect to find that we have incredible sex the first time we are together, let's think about this. A Geek will study anything and everything from anatomy to physics, to the pure science of sex itself with an undying passion. Not to mention how thoughtful, and sensitive the average Geek is. hmmm, a thoughtful and caring lover can't be a bad thing, can it.

Yes, I will admit like all Geeks he is prone to rambling on about his past, present, and future projects. And I love it!!! The gusto and problem solving he shows is simply intoxicating, and I'll gladly sit and listen because he's intelligent and funny, he can have a conversation that isn't filled with slang and "ghetto" talk. Don't forget that he's the first one there to help me understand things that would escape the average man.

In the end, I see this man, full of honesty, loyal to himself, and his love's. He's sweet, and respectful, a true gentleman. How can you NOT love someone like that? This man that looks at me and loves ME, for ME, not for what I look like, not for the size I wear, or how fit my body is. But for me, my heart, my mind, and my soul.

So, if you don't already love a geek...and can stand to have sex with a laptop in the bed...FIND ONE!

Sir Sunday - Strength

Time again for Sir Sunday,


Tonight I am going to be a little somber today, not too much on the lifestyle or on the sex. (I know I am totally risking my readership) I just wanted to comment on HBD and her incredible strength through the trials of the last couple of days. She is standing on the edge of the end of her marriage to a physically abusive man, and a definitely mentally abusive man. The weekend has gone from good to bad to worse and through it all HBD has held her conviction even in the face of the threat of physical bodily harm. (This gets me hot under the collar, A topic for another day and another venue)
I know this sounds like I have a vested interest in this situation. On some levels I do, and on others, I am totally happy to see her grow and regain her life that has been repressed for so long by a series of men who felt it necessary to keep her feeling worthless to keep her “under their thumb”. I know to some of you it sounds crazy for a “Dom” to say that they are proud of a sub and for a sub to show conviction or self-esteem. Those people are wrong, and don't know what it means to be a sub or Dom for that matter.

Well that is where my interest comes in, I am interested in the long future with HBD, I want her as my partner as well as my sub. I am starting the separation and untangling of my situation here as well and finding my inspiration in the strength of HBD.

Thank you HBD for loving me, and accepting me with all my flaws and faults. Just remember I will always love you, always NEED you and always Desire you. You are worth it lover never forget it and we will be together.

~DT

Trust,or the value of the lives we lead vs. the lives we show

Hello All, it is me Sir Die_Tryin

Let me start by saying tonight I had a much different take on this topic in my head just a few short hours ago, Let me tell you first please go over to My Baby Doll's tumbler page http://hisbabygirl-blog.tumblr.com/ as a weekly opposite to my “Sir Sundays” she deserves some love for keeping the dirty thoughts flowing.

Now on to the meat of my topic....................

“Trust”

To those of you who have been following our tale, you are familiar with the fact that my SO found out about His_Baby_Doll and is clinging to me to try to “save” our marriage.

In the subsequent discussions with the SO, it has come out that she never trusted me from our courtship even to that day she found out. She has professed to have complete trust in me now and has even taken complete responsibility and “forgiven” me for my almost “sin” saying she could forgive me anything. In light of her never fully trusting me you can see my reason for being leery.

I am going to give a little insight into the dynamic of the SO and me, we had been fairly happy, but pretty mundane the sex was there but “vanilla”. On the day after the “discovery” of My leanings in the “lifestyle”, she comes forth with a confession that she was interested in the lifestyle all along after reading the “Claiming of Sleeping Beauty” series years ago. Convenient confession, she just 5 days before had chided me and told me “during sex it seems like you always want to hurt me” in response to 2 slaps on her ass during sex (it was open hand and didn't even leave a red mark). So how can I trust her....... the answer is I can't. This is just the most recent example of the lack of trust from a person who was supposed to trust me completely. She has apologized to me for how horrible she has treated me and driving me into HBD's arms. Again how can I trust the apology? The subsequent days she has been running the “gauntlet” of emotions on me trying to use every angle she can against me, from pity to anger to her being suicidal, Again how can I trust her? So enough about the SO and her flailing.

In closing trust is something earned and given in return, it is not to be taken for granted and when given, it should be given completely without reservation or it is not trust. This is the Trust that HBD and I have discovered and given to one another, it is liberating and a truly blissful feeling, I hope all of you that have this can hang on to it and those who don't have it can find it someday.





Thank you to HBD for loving and trusting me completely.


~DT

Finally Friday...

Where did the week go? I look back at this week and wonder where did the days go? What was I doing during all the minutes since last weekend? On the other hand, I'm looking forward to our meeting and it seems like it will NEVER get here.

The heat isn't helping, I can't get motivated to do anything that will pass the time. And I want to, after so many years of not caring and letting things fall apart around me, now I want to do them, I want to improve my life and make things better for me and my kids. What changed, I don't want to do it for DT, I don't want to do it for SO, I want to do it for ME! I've always known that you can't change for another person. But I have found that another person can have a profound effect on your desire to improve yourself. Just by showing you that you are worth it.

I've been married twice and both times I was with men that were angry, violent, and controlling. Both kept me in a mental state of worthlessness, I had no desire to do anything to take care of myself much less improve myself. I gave up, I became a shell of the person I had once been. In essence, I had lost my own identity. But then my Sir DT came into my life and turned that around. He saw the real me and has allowed me to come out of my shell to be the person I SHOULD be. He once said to me that in helping me find myself he only hoped that it didn't change who I am. It was then that I realized there wasn't any chance of it changing me. Because the me I was finding was the one I always was inside, the one he saw and cared enough to nurture and allow to shine.

For that I will always be grateful.....but more importantly I will ALWAYS be grateful for his love, he has loved me unconditionally and continues to do so more and more every day.

From DT to HBD A story of love and submission.

A day late I know, but I did feel that Father Day had to be addressed. So, for your viewing pleasure, Sir Sunday...on Monday. LOL






I have walked in on you at your desk at our office working late for the 3rd night this week. "Babydoll what are you doing? The workday ended 2 hours ago,"

“I'm not caught up” you protest “just a few more things left to do”.

“Come over here now” I say, standing in the doorway to the R& D lab. You give me a look of “but” and again I say “come to me”, you comply. At this point I notice the attractive skirt suit you wore to work today and that your hair is a bit disheveled from your frustration with your project.

“Yes Sir” you say with a hint of question in your voice as you arrive in front of me.

“lets get those projects off of your mind for a bit”,

“yes Sir” you reply.

“Good” now get into the shower, you start to turn to protest as you walk by, I plant a firm spank on your ass as you pass, “don't question me” I say with a sly grin on my face. “undress in here, I want to watch you” I instruct, you comply, giving me a slow and sensual teasing undressing.


I nod in approval, as you start the shower, I move to the room you are in as you step into the shower. I watch you as you step into the warm water, and start to soap up, by this time I have undressed as well and am now entering the shower.

“I was hoping you would join me Sir”. I gather you up in my arms and kiss you deeply the warm water cascading off of our bodies from all sides. Our hands rubbing, caressing and exploring each others body.

You look at me longingly and I ask you “what is it Babydoll?” you reply “ I love you Sir” I smile and say “ I love you too Babydoll”.

I roll you against the cool tile of the shower wall as I continue to touch you all over, I raise your hands above your head and it is then you notice the ring on the wall and the nylon restraints, as I put them on your wrists, leaving you back against the wall and facing me.

“Babydoll how many times have I told you work is for office hours?” I see your lower lip quiver in anticipation of my reaction to your reply.

“A couple” you reply,

“turn around”, as you do the water is now running down your back from your shoulders, I give you another swat on your ass firm, but more sound than pain, I then run my hand between your legs and feel the warm juices from your pussy, you groan and try to encourage me to keep playing there. I swat your ass again a little harder this time, I catch you looking back at me, at my throbbing erection and I see the longing in your eyes.

“How do I get you to learn this lesson?” I muse to myself, another smack on your ass a little harder this time. I check your pussy again, it is even wetter than before.

I stand behind you and let you feel my cock as I lay it in the crack of your ass, you are pushing back against me , urging me to take you, I reach around and grab your nipples, you gasp as I hold them hard. I let them go and then focus in rubbing your clit and working your pussy with my fingers. I feel you cum once, twice and a third time. I stop and turn you around to face me, I see the flush in your cheeks from the orgasms I kiss you hard and deep, the warm water still cascading around us I hike you up on my waist your hands still tied and I slide my cock into you. I start to pump you, firmly and with a steady pace as I continue to work you against the wall. And occasionally stop to nibble , or bite a nipple, you are in sheer ecstasy I feel you cumming I have lost count at 4 as I am starting to to build myself and I am going a bit harder and faster now. I stop and put your feet back on the ground and then turn you back around to take you from behind, I re-enter you and proceed to fuck you harder and faster, as I grab your hair and pull you moan and continue to cum, another slap across your ass , hard and I am ready to cum, I thrust in hard one last time with a loud grunt and release my load. I stand there and hold you, spent and happy. I kiss you, untie you and we finish getting cleaned up, then head to the lab for “Round 2”.

DT