Finally Friday...

Where did the week go? I look back at this week and wonder where did the days go? What was I doing during all the minutes since last weekend? On the other hand, I'm looking forward to our meeting and it seems like it will NEVER get here.

The heat isn't helping, I can't get motivated to do anything that will pass the time. And I want to, after so many years of not caring and letting things fall apart around me, now I want to do them, I want to improve my life and make things better for me and my kids. What changed, I don't want to do it for DT, I don't want to do it for SO, I want to do it for ME! I've always known that you can't change for another person. But I have found that another person can have a profound effect on your desire to improve yourself. Just by showing you that you are worth it.

I've been married twice and both times I was with men that were angry, violent, and controlling. Both kept me in a mental state of worthlessness, I had no desire to do anything to take care of myself much less improve myself. I gave up, I became a shell of the person I had once been. In essence, I had lost my own identity. But then my Sir DT came into my life and turned that around. He saw the real me and has allowed me to come out of my shell to be the person I SHOULD be. He once said to me that in helping me find myself he only hoped that it didn't change who I am. It was then that I realized there wasn't any chance of it changing me. Because the me I was finding was the one I always was inside, the one he saw and cared enough to nurture and allow to shine.

For that I will always be grateful.....but more importantly I will ALWAYS be grateful for his love, he has loved me unconditionally and continues to do so more and more every day.