Face to Face

I'm looking at this weekend and just know that it will be a horrid time for Die_Tryin and myself. His SO is a basket-case, she's seeing hope where there is none, looking to god for help, and in the next breath, she is ready to kick him out and show him just what it is that she's made of. On top of that, my SO will be home for the weekend. I'd be a liar if I said I'm not afraid. I am, he's been too nice, too "thoughtful", I suspect that his anger is building inside just waiting for the moment he comes home and I make him mad. Time will tell...

So, I thought I would take a moment to talk about SEX. More specifically the sex that took place between DT and me, when we met for the first time. However, as I've written this its turned into something else.



We've known each other since January, been serious about each other since April. But we had never met face to face. Hours of chatting, and phone calls...webcams and hot phone sex...but to stand before each other stripped down and bare under the harsh light of day. How awkward would this moment be? Would we be shy and hesitant? embarrassed? frightened? Would he run away when he saw my C-section scar, the stretch marks from 4 pregnancies, my less than perky breasts? Would he be repulsed by my chubby arms and soft tummy?

Really I've never been a hard body, I'm short and have a fairly large bone structure, my feet are too big, my fingers are long, my breasts are large, my butt a bit too big. I've always been soft and had curves. Hell, my ob/gyn told me at 18 that I had the perfect hips for carrying babies. My image of myself is less than attractive, not ugly or fat. But chubby and plain. How was this going to work? How could I take my clothes off in front of this man I had never met?


From the mind of Sir Die_Tryin.


Today my lover HBD asked me to write some specific thoughts on our first meeting, so without further stalling here it goes, Raw live and uncut (well-edited just a bit for spelling).

It is Monday morning I am headed for my normal daily work routine that consists of a call to HBD on my way to the office. But today is different I am not headed back to the place where I live, instead, I am going to catch a flight to Denver to have my first in-person meeting with HBD. The day was a busy day at work like most before any kind of trip, my employers only know I'll be back Friday it is “personal travel” and none of their business. So the day ends and I have a 7:00 pm flight, good thing the airport is only 15 minutes away. I check my itinerary and realize in a moment of almost panic that I only have a travel agency reservation number and not the airline confirmation number, so no early check-in for me, 30 minutes wasted. I leave work and call HBD, she is in route to the Hotel we talk to the parking service and the shuttle ride and then to the ticket counter, turns out my panic was not needed. Now I am a fairly regular traveler I should have known this, this is the first clue I am getting nervous. I get my boarding pass and head for the security checkpoint, HBD and I say goodbye for a couple of minutes until I clear security and am headed to my gate, I realize I am feeling a little anxious but chalk it up to the plane saying departing on time in 20 minutes but no plane at the gate. I am chatting with HBD we are keeping the conversation light as I am having to pay attention to the announcements. Finally, time to board, I jump in the line and get to my seat, and finish talking with HBD, at this point the flight is leaving 20 minutes late but expecting to be in early by 30 minutes (go figure). I am now alone with my thoughts, I am now thinking about our first meeting, how I want and hope it will go, we both know what the other looks like, so the physical is out of the way, or is it? Now the “what if's” start to invade my mind, What if she doesn't show up, what if she can't stand me, what if we don't “work” in person. The flight is full I try to rest but I can't the jackass next to me is snoring and trying to molest my shoulder so I am having to be on edge for my shoulders virtue. We land at the connector airport, again I call HBD, she is in Denver and getting ready for me, fears are subsiding, I have 20 minutes to boarding and have to go to the end of a different terminal, I call HBD and do my best impression of an Olympic speed walker to get to the next gate, the pace occupies my brain and lets me quiet the fears.

On to the next leg, another full flight, another snoring middle seat passenger the difference is this one prefers to lean to the isle, whew, at least I can be as comfortable as a 6.0' tall big man can be outside of 1st class. I manage to read and listen to the MP3 player for a bit, as we come in on final approach there is a vicious thunderstorm brewing as we fly in. stuck on the ground, all operations suspended due to lightning strikes near the Airport, we are 300 feet from deplaning, and stuck waiting.

Cell phones are allowed, I call HBD, she sounds frantic and in the car, my first thought is she isn't coming to meet me, she is headed home, then she says the roads are bad and she is headed to the airport. So after about 30 minutes they let us off the plane, HBD is just parking, so I am wandering the airport and talking to her,

Now if you go back to the “Sir Sunday” from the Sunday before "Waiting is the hardest part”, you will see my vision of our first touch and kiss, no I will tell you it went similar to that vision, I saw her as she came up the escalator she didn't see me I was awestruck at her beauty, her grace as she walked to the directory sign and instructed her to read some of it to me. As I drew closer I got a whiff of her perfume, it was heavenly, I quietly set my bags down as I wrapped her up in my arms and whispered in her ear “I'm here Babydoll”. I felt her trembling slightly as I held her and enjoyed the feel of our first touch, I kissed her neck and then I spun her to hug her and kiss her properly, and what a kiss it was. I know in reality the Kiss was only a brief moment, but it seemed to last a lifetime, A perfect lifetime, we kissed like familiar lovers with more knowledge than we should have had for a first meeting. After we finished that first kiss we kissed again and again, like two love drunk teenagers. I have to tell you all the first meeting was beyond my wildest dreams and expectations. Eventually, we will get to more of the emotions around our more intimate encounters.


~DT



Well, let me just say that he didn't run, he took me in his arms, he held me...he loved me. The sex was tender and loving, slow and easy everything I needed and had never had. There wasn't a moment of discomfort, no embarrassment, no awkward moments, I wasn't shy and I never tried to hide my perceived flaws from him. His touch, his kisses, and the way he possessed my body all left me feeling cherished, and yes beautiful. Me??? Beautiful??? How is that possible?

I'm sure you are dying to know how I saw my Sir the first time. I saw his eyes the way they looked at me, and the love that was waiting there. His smile, when he made me laugh. when he leaned in to kiss me. His broad shoulders that were there for me to lean on, and the chest between them where I rested my head...safe....listening to his heartbeat in time with mine. His arms, strong and sure, they held me close and sheltered me. Then his hands, these are the hands of a man that works with them, well worn from days of working, the touch tender, but firm, soft, but possessive, they owned my body. His legs, muscular and able to stand tall in the roughest storm. His sexy ass, the one I couldn't resist touching, grabbing, kissing. And yes his cock, long and hard, thick and throbbing. Wanting me, there was no doubt this man wanted me. Just as there was no doubt that this man loved me, cherished me, and found me beautiful.

HNT - From Denver

Click Click Click!! woohoo I figured out how to click through

This week HNT is a from our recent trip to Denver to meet the first time. It was an amazing trip dressed and not. LOL



Stopover and visit Osbasso and all of the other wonderful folks on HNT this week!!

Bragging rights...A tale from our meeting

You know I adore oral sex. Giving and receiving, so I'll admit I was a bit shocked when my Sir confessed that only two other women had ever managed to suck him off until he came. How could this be? Sure, he's larger than the average man below the belt, and yes I understand that his need to please his partner does cause him to hold back his own pleasure. So, when he said that no one had really wanted to be bothered taking the time I knew that I had to take this as a challenge. I WAS going to give him a mind-blowing blow job, and I was going to make him cum, and on top of that, I WAS going to swallow. Something that no one had ever done for him. Was my poor Dom missing out or what?

This brings us to the next installment in our tale.

Die_Tryin and I were finally back to the hotel. I allowed him to drive because let's be honest I was so absorbed in touching him I'd never have been able to stay on the road! We get to the hotel, he gets the door for me, the elevator door, and the room door. Always the gentleman. Once in the door, he kissed me, arms tightly around each other, lips locked to one another, hands exploring. Minutes tick by and we finally end up completely in the room. I'll be honest I don't remember how my dress left my body, I just remember his lips, his hands, his taste, the feel of his body against me. And let's not forget the fact that I was totally lost in the high of finally being with him and how simply comfortable I was with him.

Finally, it was time, for me to take my bragging rights. I went to put on lipstick, mmm, the goal was to leave a lipstick ring on his cock so we could see just how much I could take. Well, that was forgotten shortly after I came back to the room. While I was gone, DT removed his pants and sat on the loveseat waiting for me.

In a short moment, I was back kissed him softly and proceeded to ask permission to suck his cock. Yes, I was the good little sub at that point. When he assented I slipped down on to the floor on to my knees in front of him, and began to work his cock slowly, with my hands, and then my tongue tasting him. Feeling the throbbing heat of him in my mouth was all that I needed to drive me on, hungrily sucking on his cock, loving it with my tongue. Adding the stroking of my hand on his shaft to meet my lips. But it was him, the sound of his pleasure, the sound of his approval that really turned me on. I wanted him, I wanted to feel him inside me, but I was not about to stop before he came in my mouth.

I have to admit that I was perfectly content there on the floor on my knees in front of the man I call Sir. I've never felt that kneeling was something I had to have to make me feel submissive. But I will not deny that I was very turned on by it. Not just then but at other times as well. I don't know what I'll do with this realization, I know that DT doesn't require it. I think he prefers that I don't. But some times, I think.....anyway back to the topic at hand.

It wasn't long before I felt his sack tighten and his cock begin to twitch, and then he told me it was coming...that he was going to cum. And I didn't pull away, I couldn't I wanted to taste him I wanted his hot cum on my tongue. The ultimate reward for a job done well. It made this subs heart race to know I had succeeded in my goal. Then it happened the first shot hit the back of my throat and I groaned the vibrations of my sighing pleasure running down the length of my tongue as continued to fill my mouth. Swallowing quickly and loving the feel of his hands on me as I took him into me.

But what turned me on the most, was that he pulled me up and kissed me, the taste of his cum still on my lips. No man had done that to me before, it was always time to brush my teeth and clean up before they would consider it. Then he held me, we kissed we talked, we laughed, and the rest...well that's another post.

Sir Sunday An analogy of the building blocks of relationships

Hello again, it is Sunday and time for me to step on my soapbox in this little corner of the internet. We apologize for the little interruption of our daily blog Service but HBD was a little “tied up”, who the hell am I kidding she was “a lot tied up”,

After an incredible first “get away” with HBD, I was reflecting on the dynamics of our relationship and the parts that make it work when all the conventional wisdom tells us it shouldn't. We have the very deep trust, (the most important ingredient, more on this later) then we have the friendship, our commitment, our partnership, our confidant roles and last but not least our similar “lifestyle” kinks.

So as I was reflecting on this sitting in a coffee shop I started thinking of relationships as a whole and started likening them to the espresso beverages that people order. Let's start with some drinks, (and if I don't name your favorite I'm sorry). There is the “straight” espresso, the “shot” as it were, then there is the Cappuccino, Latte, Mocha, Macchiato, Ristretto, Americano, and the Lungo. What do all these drinks have in common you ask? They are all a relationship built on a single block of espresso.

What does this have to do with real relationships? Well, the Espresso is the “trust” in a relationship if you start with good, fresh roasted and properly ground espresso beans, then tamp the grounds into the “portafilter” and then use the proper combination of time, temperature and extraction you will have a perfect building block for the rest of your beverage relationship. Does this mean any one of these drinks is better than another? No that is all personal preference, like is a “vanilla” couple better than a “Poly” relationship? Or a D/s or an M/s? again no. They are just different and based on personal preferences. Now back to this building block of trust, trust is the most important part of any relationship. Similar to if you remove the espresso form a Latte you just have steamed milk.

As I watched the customers come and go and order their drinks, I noticed an interesting trend, a handful of people ordered a “cappuccino” and then proceeded to complain to the barista, where is the vanilla syrup, where is the chocolate? This makes me laugh a little bit as people will order things with familiar names even thought it is not what they want, or even desire something else. Very much like people who don't trust their prospective partner to be honest enough with their wants and desires. I too have been guilty of this in the past, but now with HBD we have laid everything out in the open, all wants, desires, fears, and issues as they arise, there is a true trust here. I am hoping that all of my (small group) of readers will get to experience this at least once in their lives.

This trust made for an incredible trip, there was never an awkward moment, we were completely comfortable in all situations, even spending most of the trip naked and in each other's arms. We both slept deeper than we have since we were children safe in the care of our or parents. Yes, we had earth-moving love making and hot and sweaty sex and everything in between. There were a couple of moments where HBD drifted off to “subspace” a feat I had not expected to bring out in our first meeting let alone twice! Again this is possible due to trust. I am quite sure HBD will fill in the details in later posts as I have already gone beyond what a gentleman should tell.


Thank you Babydoll for loving me, trusting me, and the gift of your submission to me.

~DT

Where to start....

Well, I've been back a couple days now. Die_Tryin is back at home, and life should return to normal right???? RIGHT????

WHAT it'll never be normal again? sigh...you're right nothing will ever be "normal" for this sub or her Dom again. Why? well if you've been following us any length of time you know that DT and I had our first (with many more to come) face to face visits this week. That time together has changed us, molded us, and sealed our fates. We cannot continue in the path we were on, the only path is the one towards each other.

DT came in, and a storm blew in just as I had to take off to get him. Of course, the amount of traffic and the vast quantity of water on the roads slowed me down and I was late. I have to tell you I was nearly in tears talking to him on my way to the airport I knew that he had to be disappointed that I wasn't there. Luckily his plane was held on the runway due to lightning and I wasn't very late at all. I found my way to the terminal and found a landmark that he knew he could find. And I waited, feeling silly as I read the directory to him. Then..yes that's when I saw someone behind me, bend over to put down a bag, and I knew it was him. He wrapped his arms around me pulling me back against him. Those strong arms holding me close were all I needed to finally relax. My Dom was there, with me, and he was holding me. I could have cried. He loosened his grip and turned me to face him, and that is where I got the kiss....that first kiss. It was everything I had hoped for and more.

When it comes to that kiss I have to tell you all that I warned him beforehand that while I never measure him against the men in my past at this moment I would, because I met my SO at the airport the first time as well. Now, let me tell you all, that the meeting with my SO and that kiss couldn't have been farther from my mind. In fact, it was just as I started writing this that I remembered it. For the record, my Sir has these lips that just beg to be kissed, and does he know how to use them!!!!!!

I had to find a bathroom at this point and he led me off to the restrooms. Kissing, touching, laughing, talking....loving being together. I came back out, kissed him for all I thought I was worth, and we headed back off to the car. It was several minutes of us laughing, kissing, and just being amazed that we were together finally. We got to the car and I handed him my keys, we put his bags in the car and it started to rain. He opened my door for me - Ladies this is a true gentleman - and we stood there, neither one of us caring about the rain kissing again, feeling the others touch not wanting to part but knowing what awaited us.

Yes, I let him drive us back to the hotel. This was no small feat for me. I do not trust people to drive with me in the car, even my SO who is an over the road truck driver, I panic I back seat drive, I panic! But with my Sir, I was relaxed and gave up control of the car freely. That was one of many moments that clarified my trust for this man. The one I have given my heart, soul, and now body to.

I have so many things to say about this trip, I'm sure they'll keep me writing for WEEKS!!

Sir Sunday 7-19-09 Waiting is the Hardest Part

Sir Sunday

7-19-09

Waiting is the Hardest Part



To all the music lovers I apologize to you I do not have the voice of our friend Pure Epiphany (be sure to visit her at The Fallacy of Epiphany, unfortunately, you will need to read German) So I will spare you the rendition of me singing “Waiting is the hardest part” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
.
Tom Petty - The Waiting Lyrics @ LyricsTime.com

Originally I was going to post about what I was going to do when I first meet HBD at the airport, but that has fallen away from my thoughts and I will touch on that later. I have moved to thinking about the future and where we are headed, our situations and circumstances are moving faster than we ever imagined when we first started “playing” as a pair of good friends. She has a roller coaster ride of emotions from her SO and I do too, there is at least one if not 2 moves on the horizon for us in the next 45 days. So with reality looming and life-changing, we are meeting each other for the first time in person, I have no doubts this will be the largest event in either of our lives. When the trip was booked we were so ecstatic and wondering if we could survive the wait, and now in the last 24 hours the waiting is almost unbearable, truly the waiting is the hardest part.

Now I am sure HBD has been fixating on our first meeting with all the usual thoughts and fears, she has shared them with me and I have shared mine with her, as regular readers know there are no secrets between us, it is a truly liberating feeling. So at her request, I am going to share my “vision” of our first meeting at the Airport. We have agreed to meet at a central “landmark” to facilitate ease of finding each other. So here it goes from the vision and mind of Die_Tryin.

As I debark the plane I power up my cell phone and dial the familiar phone number for HBD,. She answers in her sultry tones “Hello Lover, I am waiting for you”, I reply “Hello Love, I am headed to you now”, small talk continues as I clear the security checkpoint and take the escalator to get to the agreed meeting location, “I am going to hide and make you look for me” HBD taunts, showing her bratty side. “are you asking for a spanking later?” I ask, “Yes Sir” she replies. I have been scanning the crowd which is pretty thin due to the late hour. I know what she is wearing, we have discussed it for weeks now and even though I have never seen it I can still see it. I spot her, she has her back to me, arm across her stomach, and cell phone to her ear, I start walking a little quicker and start her talking on a topic that she can talk for a bit on. I approach quietly and as she finishes and asks “so where are you?” A whisper in her ear as I wrap her up in a hug from behind “right here lover”. I loosen my hug to allow her to spin in my arms and face me, we look into each other's eyes and with a smile, we kiss a long, slow, leave the world, kiss. Then we hug harder, then as we separate continue to hold hands, facing each other, speechless and smiling. After a couple of minutes we kiss again, and after we finish she says “ I thought you would never get here”.......... The rest is for later posts

~DT

I'm broken...

Its become abundantly clear the last few months that I am broken. Not physically, but mentally, and emotionally.

I was the only child of an overprotective mother. She had 4 miscarriages before I finally came along. A year later she came home to find my father dressed in her clothes...6 months later they were divorced. I didn't find out until I was 18 that he was no longer a man, but a woman. Yes, post-op. I do not fault him for this. I do get a bit confused about what to call him, er her, "My Dad" doesn't seem right. I do not have any contact with her, not because of her gender reassignment. But because of the blame she placed on me for her decision.  At 18 I received a letter from her telling me that the PTSD from Nam, added to the stress of being an unprepared father led to the choice to leave the past behind and become the woman she was supposed to be.

Back to my life as a child, for the first 5 years of my life, my aunt and uncle were my daycare providers, they became a second family for me. Along with their two boys. I loved my uncle, he was an incredible man, kind and loving until the day he passed. A great example of what a father and husband should be. To me growing up he was the knight in shining armor that every woman should strive to find. He worked hard to support his family, my Aunt was a stay at home mom and housewife. They would do anything for each other. With such amazing role models, why did I go down the road I did?

I'd like to blame someone but I can't. It's all on me.

So, my mother remarried when I was 6, and divorced when I was 8. A horrible man, verbally and emotionally abusive. Controlling, and honestly, he scared me. I created a hideout in my closet so that I didn't have to deal with him. It was the longest 2 years of my life. I was physically assaulted by two of his three children, and sexually molested by his third, I buried it away inside me and prayed it would end. And it did, but not before the damage was done.

At 10 my mother remarried, a great man. He was kind and caring, her white knight. At 12 he adopted me. I wanted so badly to be a daddies girl, I vividly remember dreaming about it. but it wasn't to be. I didn't realize what a great man he was until he was gone. How long ago was that? 2 years. My dad died and I blame myself. It was my electric fence, it was me fighting with him, it was me chasing my parents away from my home.

What did my dad do wrong? He loved me, he tried to make me a better person, but he took things from me that I resented him for. Like my time with my mother. I fought him long and hard. Over everything, from the color of the sky to who should be President.  My young teenage mind knew everything, and I wasn't afraid to tell him how little he knew.

In high school, I dated an amazing guy. I broke up with him because I didn't want to be in a military relationship. That was it, nothing went bad between us, he treated me like a queen. Some days I miss him. But I found my first Ex husband. A man that was abusive in so many ways. Every way. I stayed because I was afraid to leave. Afraid I couldn't do it on my own. I was beaten down, I was belittled, when he left me all I could think was I was the reason I was the problem. What had I done? What could I do differently?  I cried myself into oblivion and then realized that I had to pull myself together for our - no, my children.  I called my in-laws the night he left, begging them to buy me a gallon of milk for my kids.  They refused.  I have not seen my ex, or his parents since, they have not asked to see my kids, they have not returned phone calls or responded to letters sent to them. In fact, the one time we saw them at the store, the turned and walked away like they didn't recognize us. I will forever be grateful that my kids were too young to understand.

Then I met my second husband. He was tall and good looking, he wanted me, he said he loved me. And he accepted my demons. Too bad he would turn out to be just as bad if not worse than my first. This is where I am now. In a relationship that has beaten me down to feeling worthless, stupid, ugly, and flat out a failure. I second guess everything I do, I doubt my decisions even after I've followed through with them. Honestly....I'm afraid of myself.

Yet through this all...one person has come to see me. The real me. And well, I'll let you all know how that goes.



For more information on verbal abuse check out this great site... THIRTY-FOUR EXAMPLES OF VERBAL ABUSE BEHAVIOR

HNT....kinda maybe

a late day entry....but it's ME ME ME.

Stopover and visit Osbasso and all of the other wonderful folks on HNT this week!!

A bet...

I wasn't sure what I wanted to blog tonight, but I finally came across an idea. One that has been at the height of my plans with Die_Tryin. It started nearly 3 months ago, when he threw out a comment, no a bet - and I took him up on it.

He bet me that he could make me cum and never touch my pussy, now I thought for sure that he would take the same route my SO would have taken. But then again my SO knows that I can come just from playing with my nipples. DT didn't know that so instead I let him run with it....here is how it went.





Die_Tryin says: I'll bet I could make you cum without even touching your pussy
His_Baby_Doll says: I know you could......lol.....I have a weakness. Now the question is how would you do it? and is it the same thing?.............intrigued here.
Die_Tryin says: I would have you sit naked ....on the edge of the bed....
Die_Tryin says: hands at your side
His_Baby_Doll says: k
Die_Tryin says: legs together...as to keep it proper... ;)
His_Baby_Doll says: lol, always
Die_Tryin says: I would start by blindfolding you




Die_Tryin says: then I would lean in and ever so gently kiss your left ear..... exhaling softly
His_Baby_Doll says: that's goosebumps right there
Die_Tryin says: then I would run the tip of my tongue along the outside of your ear
Die_Tryin says: and when I got to the lobe a gentle nibble
Die_Tryin says: then I would kiss down your shoulder to your elbow and to your hand
Die_Tryin says: I would kiss every finger and give a nibble to the tip of each one
His_Baby_Doll says: total tactile teasing, I like
Die_Tryin says: after I finished the left side ....I would repeat for the Right side from the fingertips to your Ear...ending with a warm exhale
Die_Tryin says: then I would take your hair and gather it up.... like a brush and sweep it around your neck and shoulders....telling you to leave your hands at your sides....
His_Baby_Doll says: at which time I've melted into a puddle already, gonna have to sit on my hands to behave.
Die_Tryin says: then I would let your hairbrush across the top of your breasts and if it reaches without too much hard pulling brushing your nipples ....first the left then the right
Die_Tryin says: *feel free to "play" if you want to or can*
] Die_Tryin says: then the hair is brushed back over your shoulder..... I am standing in front of you fully clothed... I lean in and gently touch the tip of my tongue to your lips...gently tracing them
His_Baby_Doll says: oh my
Die_Tryin says: then I kiss your chin....and I go down lower exhaling and place my tongue on your nipple.......the right one....it is already stiff from the brushing..... I take the nipple in my lips and suck gently at first ...then a little harder...my lips on your nipple the only point of contact between us...
Die_Tryin says: I roll the nipple between my upper lip and my lower teeth ...side to side slowly
Die_Tryin says: gripping a little tighter with each transit....
Die_Tryin says: then I capture your nipple with my teeth and work the tip with my tongue..like a little punching bag....
His_Baby_Doll says: don't let me forget to breathe
Die_Tryin says: I release your nipple and stand up
Die_Tryin says: I take your hand and place it on the still slick nipple and tell you to pinch and hold it ....as hard as you can stand



His_Baby_Doll says: mmmmm, found my weak spot
Die_Tryin says: I take your other hand and bring it up to the bulge in my pants and let you feel my clothed fully engorged cock
Die_Tryin says: then put the hand back down......
His_Baby_Doll says: very nice
Die_Tryin says: now I sit on the bed next to you on your left side....I put an arm around your shoulder and turn you towards me so I can kiss you .....deeply and passionately......my other hand finds your left breast and roughly grabs the whole breast.....
Die_Tryin says: as I start to squeeze I notice you have stopped playing with your nipple.....I instruct you to squeeze it harder...
His_Baby_Doll says: good lord, very good point, whew, yeah you have the knack.
Die_Tryin says: as you comply........ I start to work the left nipple like you are working the right one....

A Dom with OCD?

Sir Sunday 7-12-09

From the mind of Die_Tryin


Today I am starting with a question.
“Have you ever gotten fixated on a new idea or pastime that has consumed your thoughts to almost the point of not functioning?”

Well for me it is not too far of a trip, I have a mild form of OCD toward new experiences and “hobbies” couple that with a Virgo birth-sign...well now you know why I have “geek” tendencies.

So the OCD makes all new things a heavy focus and the Virgo in me makes me research it until I am a “book” master of the subject or task at hand. HBD mentioned in her blog post "Everyone should love a geek". I quote HBD "A Geek will study anything and everything from anatomy to physics, to the pure science of sex itself with an un-dying passion. " so that is part of what makes me a “Geek”.

So as you have been reading HBD and I are on a journey of mutual as well as self discovery, in our lives and our lifestyle. In these discoveries the latest one to surface is a mutual appreciation and interest, in rope play of all types, we are both novices, yet when I look at it my OCD kicks in and I am already trying to figure out Shibari a very advanced form of Japanese rope bondage, now that is just like me Run before I am even walking, so I have to remind myself to learn the basics before going to the advanced. Who knows Someday HBD will “Fly” by my rope work, but until then I have to remember to practice and take it slow, It is a good thing I have a great loving and trusting partner in my HBD.

~DT

Long Distance Relationships, and 24/7 D/s

I will have to admit now that over the last few days I've been thinking a lot about how my relationship with Die_tryin has changed and grown from friends to playmates, to potential D/s, to long-distance loves.

I've found myself evaluating this relationship and trying to define it in conventional and lifestyle terms. But I've had a hard time doing this and have had to do a lot of soul searching.

This is what I have decided....it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, the only thing that matters is how we define ourselves. And we have decided that we are a long-distance couple. We are D/s 24/7, friends, lovers, confidants, and partners.

What I struggled with the most is the D/s 24/7. This is a concept I had preconceptions about, and they revolved around our lifestyle kink, but in time I've come to see that this is not what our D/s is all about. Our D/s is about him having my best interest in mind at ALL times, his looking out for my well being and giving me direction as needed. In addition, it means that I live my life 24/7 to please him, to show my respect for him, and to always keep in mind what he would wish for me to do to be safe and happy. Simple right? Just not the box I expected us to fit into....instead it's our box. One made just for us, and it fits us perfectly!

HNT.....

Well, I had planned to put up my DT for HNT today, but the images I have are all so small I decided to wait until I get a hold of him in a couple weeks...




Stopover and visit Osbasso and all of the other wonderful folks on HNT this week!!

Everyone should love a Geek...

If you've never met my Sir Die_Tryin, you'd never know that he is a Geek. With a capital G, and I have to tell you that there is nothing sexier than a Geek. I was once told that a nerd thinks they know it all, and a Geek knows it. Well, let me assure you all that this is true, DT knows it all, but he's just too modest to admit it. Oh sure he'll admit to having a vast quantity of useless knowledge, but that is selling himself short.

Thinking about all the Geeks I know I find most of them a little awkward, quiet, and shy. Very modest and unassuming. But do any of them realize they run the world as we know it? Of course, they do, deep down. But you won't find them bragging it up.

Why am I drawn to my Geek? Is it his love of Kink? No, that's a bonus. However, I will not deny that his mind and the way he uses it to learn and absorb all things D/s is extremely sexy. Smart is the new sexy after all. I fully expect to find that we have incredible sex the first time we are together, let's think about this. A Geek will study anything and everything from anatomy to physics, to the pure science of sex itself with an undying passion. Not to mention how thoughtful, and sensitive the average Geek is. hmmm, a thoughtful and caring lover can't be a bad thing, can it.

Yes, I will admit like all Geeks he is prone to rambling on about his past, present, and future projects. And I love it!!! The gusto and problem solving he shows is simply intoxicating, and I'll gladly sit and listen because he's intelligent and funny, he can have a conversation that isn't filled with slang and "ghetto" talk. Don't forget that he's the first one there to help me understand things that would escape the average man.

In the end, I see this man, full of honesty, loyal to himself, and his love's. He's sweet, and respectful, a true gentleman. How can you NOT love someone like that? This man that looks at me and loves ME, for ME, not for what I look like, not for the size I wear, or how fit my body is. But for me, my heart, my mind, and my soul.

So, if you don't already love a geek...and can stand to have sex with a laptop in the bed...FIND ONE!

City lights....

It came from a harmless comment from TheBsideofme on twitter and ended up creeping into my mind over the next few hours.

The room is small, there's a desk that also serves as a TV stand, a recliner, a small table and two chairs, and of course the typical hotel room bed with its cheesy bedspread. But none of that matters, the only thing in this room right now that I care about is you.

Sitting in the chair closest to our 6th story window with its open drapes, I can't take my eyes off yours, there is a hunger in them that can only be satisfied by one thing, and I know exactly what that is. I cross the room slowly, enjoying the way your eyes wander over my body, pausing at this curve and that. That look, the utter appreciation for what you see reminds me exactly why I love being a woman. Even more so, why I love being your woman.

I give a little smirk, roll my shoulders back, and sway my hips as I slowly cross the room to stand in front of you in my black heels and a pink nightie. A slow sweeping gaze over your body and I can see the rise in your briefs, knowing what waits for me there. I lick my lips teasingly as I lean in to kiss your waiting lips. The soft moan from you is all I need to know you're ready for me. You shift your left leg between mine spreading them slightly.

Your left-hand slides up my body, finding my already hard nipples and takes turns teasing, pinching, twisting, pulling them through the cool satin. And your right...mmm yes your right slips up the back of my legs coming to rest for a moment on my ass, up over my hip, down my stomach and coming to rest cupping my pussy. Your touch is like sparks against my flesh. I rock my hips against your hand urging you to part my lips with your fingers.

I glance behind you noting the open shades and can't be bothered to try and close them, you lean forward and take my nipple in your mouth the fabric of my nightie still between us. The slick satin, the heat of your breath, the feel of your teeth. Making my knees weak, you sense the urgency in my breathing and gently spread my pussy lips, slipping two fingers between them and gliding along the length of my wet lips, coming back to squeeze my clit between your fingers. I can feel my knees trembling and lean forward to put my hands on your shoulders, bracing myself against you. Lost in the sensations your touch brings in me.

In a quick shift of your arms, you've turned me away from you, pulling you down in your lap, keeping one hand on my breasts playing with my nipples bringing me to the edge of wanting while your other hand slips back between my legs where you find my throbbing clit once more. Flicking it gently with your thumb before sliding two fingers up into my wet pussy. Curving into me to press against my G-spot while the palm of your hand is left to rub hard against my clit. Squeezing firmly, then pumping in and out of me harder, and faster while I rock my hips breathing harder, leaning back against your solid chest holding me in your arms as I feel my orgasm brimming, and know it's going to happen, that spot that feeling, I'm about to let go when you whisper in my ear.

"Cum for me, BabyDoll," and that's all it takes to have me gushing in your hand, screaming your name and leaving a wet patch of my cum on your briefs. Your fingers never stop moving as I cum again quickly and just as intensely. You bring your fingers to my lips letting me taste myself on you, I'm not sure who it turns on more.

"Stand up," You order me off your lap with a little shove, you stand yourself turning the chair so the back faces the window. Then placing me up in the chair so I can look out the open window at the night lights of the city around us. My ass up in the air, begging you to fuck me.





You lean over me whispering in my ear. "You know if anyone were to look up here they could see you." I couldn't help but moan, and push my ass back against you. My eagerness should have brought you to the edge of wanting me, wanting your cock inside me. But no of course not yet, you lean back and give a firm slap to my left ass cheek. I gasp at the shock and pleasure of the sting. Before I have a chance to recover your hand falls sharply against the right cheek, this time the sting is enough to soak my pussy once again. You pull my nightie up over my waist grabbing my hips and pulling me back against your rock hard cock, your grey boxer briefs damp from the pre-cum leaking from the head of your cock.

"What do you want babydoll?" you growl from behind me.

"Please, Sir, I want you to fuck me." I plead begging for your cock, wanting you buried deep in my pussy.

"Not yet lover," and with that, you kneel on the floor, your face even with my dripping pussy. You grab my hips and steady me in the chair before planting your face against my pussy. Your tongue probing my aching lips, your thumb rubbing against my clit, every little bit your lips come down to suck on my clit, nibbling it with your teeth then back to my waiting pussy lips. In seconds I'm a blubbering idiot completely lost in the feel of your magical tongue probing into me.

Your incredible oral work has me gasping for breath nearly collapsing in the chair from the pure pleasure of it. My orgasm comes on quickly my legs shaking, pussy clenching hard, and a scream of pure release coming from my lips.

You stand up slapping my pussy as you do making my knees weak, you lean forward and grab a handful of my hair pulling me up and pushing me toward the floor to ceiling window in front of me. Pressing my breasts against the cool glass, "Look around little one, the entire city can see your beautiful body if they just looked"
With that said you press me hard against the glass once more this time positioning my body in a way to give you full access to my pussy with your rock hard cock. Pulling the waistband of your boxer briefs down to free your cock, your hand comes between my legs to spread my lips one last time before slipping the head of your cock between my lips, slowly at first just the head. Then further, and further until the entire length is filling me, I can feel the throbbing inside me, and when you begin to stroke in and out of me I cum hard. Your left hand tangled in my hair, your right reaching forward to torture my nipples, pinching them hard between your finger and thumb.

As the town light twinkle and glow below and around us, the city alive and unaware of the passion in its midst, we come together, screaming your name as you moan mine deeply against my shoulder. You pull back away from me, reaching out you take me in your arms carrying me to the bed where we collapse in each other's arms....exhausted

Micorfantasy Monday - sleep

Its been a restless night, the storm rolling outside keeps me awake, for all that he's tried to ease my fears I just can't let them go. I curl up against his warm body and as my flesh touches his, he reaches for me. One strong arm wrapped around my back holding me against him.

He knows how much I hate storms and even now he's comforting me, making me feel safe once more. Settling in against his chest the sound of his heart beating is the thing I need, feeling his chest rise and fall in steady counterpoint I begin to drift, the world falling away the rolling thunder has no effect on me now. Closing my eyes I hear him murmur in his sleep

"I love you babydoll" and with that, I join him in his slumber.

Sir Sunday - Strength

Time again for Sir Sunday,


Tonight I am going to be a little somber today, not too much on the lifestyle or on the sex. (I know I am totally risking my readership) I just wanted to comment on HBD and her incredible strength through the trials of the last couple of days. She is standing on the edge of the end of her marriage to a physically abusive man, and a definitely mentally abusive man. The weekend has gone from good to bad to worse and through it all HBD has held her conviction even in the face of the threat of physical bodily harm. (This gets me hot under the collar, A topic for another day and another venue)
I know this sounds like I have a vested interest in this situation. On some levels I do, and on others, I am totally happy to see her grow and regain her life that has been repressed for so long by a series of men who felt it necessary to keep her feeling worthless to keep her “under their thumb”. I know to some of you it sounds crazy for a “Dom” to say that they are proud of a sub and for a sub to show conviction or self-esteem. Those people are wrong, and don't know what it means to be a sub or Dom for that matter.

Well that is where my interest comes in, I am interested in the long future with HBD, I want her as my partner as well as my sub. I am starting the separation and untangling of my situation here as well and finding my inspiration in the strength of HBD.

Thank you HBD for loving me, and accepting me with all my flaws and faults. Just remember I will always love you, always NEED you and always Desire you. You are worth it lover never forget it and we will be together.

~DT

Happy Independence Day USA

Just dropping in from a horrible weekend to say Happy 4th to all my American friends and followers. Here's hoping you have a hot night full of FIREWORKS!!

HNT at request....

So, last week I had several requests to have an HNT with the boots, and without the rest of the apparel....so here goes








Stopover and visit Osbasso and all of the other wonderful folks on HNT this week!!

Holy WOW.....

Oh, what a night! I had this great plan, to put together a post based on a fantasy, a dream...wishful thinking for my trip to be with Die_Tryin. And then somethings happened a conversation overheard between him and his wife that brought up some emotions and feelings I had to get out. And then the strangest thing happened, and here I am to tell you all about it.

It started out with one of my normal conversations with my husband and ended with me telling him that I need a divorce. I want a divorce. I asked for it to be friendly, easy, for us to do this thing without being ugly and nasty like we do so often.

Strangely enough, he didn't fight and argue, he didn't turn on me hateful and trying to cut me deep. It was sad, it was painful...and it broke my heart but it was amazingly calming. We have agreed that when he comes home this weekend we'll sit down and decide what we each want and try and put this together in an amicable way. We'll see how that goes.

I won't deny that I'm terrified. I have never been truly alone ever. I lived at home until I married at 18, lived with my EX until I was with my current husband, and now I'm in my 30s and I'm looking at the prospect of being completely alone. The kids and me...how am I going to do this? What am I going to do with myself? I'm terrified, I'm alone, and I'm completely unsure about what to do next.