Where to start....

Well, I've been back a couple days now. Die_Tryin is back at home, and life should return to normal right???? RIGHT????

WHAT it'll never be normal again? sigh...you're right nothing will ever be "normal" for this sub or her Dom again. Why? well if you've been following us any length of time you know that DT and I had our first (with many more to come) face to face visits this week. That time together has changed us, molded us, and sealed our fates. We cannot continue in the path we were on, the only path is the one towards each other.

DT came in, and a storm blew in just as I had to take off to get him. Of course, the amount of traffic and the vast quantity of water on the roads slowed me down and I was late. I have to tell you I was nearly in tears talking to him on my way to the airport I knew that he had to be disappointed that I wasn't there. Luckily his plane was held on the runway due to lightning and I wasn't very late at all. I found my way to the terminal and found a landmark that he knew he could find. And I waited, feeling silly as I read the directory to him. Then..yes that's when I saw someone behind me, bend over to put down a bag, and I knew it was him. He wrapped his arms around me pulling me back against him. Those strong arms holding me close were all I needed to finally relax. My Dom was there, with me, and he was holding me. I could have cried. He loosened his grip and turned me to face him, and that is where I got the kiss....that first kiss. It was everything I had hoped for and more.

When it comes to that kiss I have to tell you all that I warned him beforehand that while I never measure him against the men in my past at this moment I would, because I met my SO at the airport the first time as well. Now, let me tell you all, that the meeting with my SO and that kiss couldn't have been farther from my mind. In fact, it was just as I started writing this that I remembered it. For the record, my Sir has these lips that just beg to be kissed, and does he know how to use them!!!!!!

I had to find a bathroom at this point and he led me off to the restrooms. Kissing, touching, laughing, talking....loving being together. I came back out, kissed him for all I thought I was worth, and we headed back off to the car. It was several minutes of us laughing, kissing, and just being amazed that we were together finally. We got to the car and I handed him my keys, we put his bags in the car and it started to rain. He opened my door for me - Ladies this is a true gentleman - and we stood there, neither one of us caring about the rain kissing again, feeling the others touch not wanting to part but knowing what awaited us.

Yes, I let him drive us back to the hotel. This was no small feat for me. I do not trust people to drive with me in the car, even my SO who is an over the road truck driver, I panic I back seat drive, I panic! But with my Sir, I was relaxed and gave up control of the car freely. That was one of many moments that clarified my trust for this man. The one I have given my heart, soul, and now body to.

I have so many things to say about this trip, I'm sure they'll keep me writing for WEEKS!!

Trust,or the value of the lives we lead vs. the lives we show

Hello All, it is me Sir Die_Tryin

Let me start by saying tonight I had a much different take on this topic in my head just a few short hours ago, Let me tell you first please go over to My Baby Doll's tumbler page http://hisbabygirl-blog.tumblr.com/ as a weekly opposite to my “Sir Sundays” she deserves some love for keeping the dirty thoughts flowing.

Now on to the meat of my topic....................

“Trust”

To those of you who have been following our tale, you are familiar with the fact that my SO found out about His_Baby_Doll and is clinging to me to try to “save” our marriage.

In the subsequent discussions with the SO, it has come out that she never trusted me from our courtship even to that day she found out. She has professed to have complete trust in me now and has even taken complete responsibility and “forgiven” me for my almost “sin” saying she could forgive me anything. In light of her never fully trusting me you can see my reason for being leery.

I am going to give a little insight into the dynamic of the SO and me, we had been fairly happy, but pretty mundane the sex was there but “vanilla”. On the day after the “discovery” of My leanings in the “lifestyle”, she comes forth with a confession that she was interested in the lifestyle all along after reading the “Claiming of Sleeping Beauty” series years ago. Convenient confession, she just 5 days before had chided me and told me “during sex it seems like you always want to hurt me” in response to 2 slaps on her ass during sex (it was open hand and didn't even leave a red mark). So how can I trust her....... the answer is I can't. This is just the most recent example of the lack of trust from a person who was supposed to trust me completely. She has apologized to me for how horrible she has treated me and driving me into HBD's arms. Again how can I trust the apology? The subsequent days she has been running the “gauntlet” of emotions on me trying to use every angle she can against me, from pity to anger to her being suicidal, Again how can I trust her? So enough about the SO and her flailing.

In closing trust is something earned and given in return, it is not to be taken for granted and when given, it should be given completely without reservation or it is not trust. This is the Trust that HBD and I have discovered and given to one another, it is liberating and a truly blissful feeling, I hope all of you that have this can hang on to it and those who don't have it can find it someday.





Thank you to HBD for loving and trusting me completely.


~DT