Its always in the bedroom....

I know I've mentioned numerous times my desire to have more of the lifestyle in our daily life. That hasn't changed. I still want and need that quite desperately. I do realize I may never have that. And that is something I will continue to work through both with DT and within myself.

But let me tell you about the bedroom....oh yes, in the bedroom lifestyle is very much with us. I am his, and his alone. To be used, and abused as he sees fit. When he wants it, any time he wants it. Like a couple nights ago, I was having a poor me pity party day and went to bed feeling alone. Then he rolled me over and told me. "Make love to me." It wasn't a request, it was a direction. I couldn't have said no if I wanted to. And let me tell you, at that moment...I wanted to. I was tired, I was grumpy, and I just wanted to be left alone.

At that moment I had the decision, I could have said no. I could have fought it, and he probably would have let me. But deep down in my soul, that side of me that drives my submission reached up and took hold. I couldn't say no to him. My body was his. His touch started gently, drawing me out. I tried to fight, I tried to resist the pleasure of his touch. He was having none of it, he continued on, ...

I felt his touch, his fingers, his mouth, his tongue....he played with my breast, twisting and pinching my nipples. The pain was focused and intense, bringing my pussy to instant wetness. He probed my cunt with his hands, his fingers pinching my clit before he gave it a good slap. And again, he brought his hand down upon my tender pussy. It was what I needed, the pleasure of it was too much. I came hard, gushing against his hand. Trying not to scream and wake the children. And then, oh yes then he fucked me. Hard and demanding, drawing out orgasm after orgasm. I didn't exist any longer, all that lay beneath him was a wet hole for him to take his pleasure from. A tight wet cunt for him to fuck, and he did. Several times, each one more intense. After he used me to his liking he let me sleep....and I was satisfied, happy. Knowing that in the bedroom, its always there. I will always be his slave in the bedroom.

Even when I've given up all hope of having this thing outside our sex life. I know that naked under his weight I will submit to his whims, whenever he desires. And I will feel used, and degraded....and cherished.....but only in the bedroom.

Sir Sunday - Back to the west

Sir Sunday

Back to the West……..

Ranting, raving, and musing from “my soapbox in the corner of the internet”

As any of you have read the blog lately, you no doubt have noticed the countdown ticker in the top left. Yes, it is time for me to go and visit HBD again! We promise to take pictures and blog about our deviantly fun times.

So with the tickets bought and schedules arranged the discussion has moved to the actual trip. We are discussing our goals for the trip, our needs, and our desires, all to fit in our limited time together. HBD wants to claim her bragging rights again, and who am I to stop that, it is a great start to a visit. We have both expressed in very graphic terms described the more animal desires. Then there is the rope….. HBD is really in for it this time I am feeling a lot more comfortable in tying her up after recapping the first time in Denver and my looking around for more shibari knots to use with her. There are the Showers and snuggling But we have also discussed a few more vanilla pursuits, like an evening out, catching a movie, more mundane everyday life things.

These things are part of the reason I love HBD, we communicate and fit well together, her desires are met and she meets and exceeds my desires on a regular basis.
I am sure this trip will be nothing short of epic, and the stuff blog posts are made of.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and we will be reporting back around the end of October with our exploits.

I love you Babydoll and cannot wait until we are together again, Loving, Touching, Squeezing……each other….. (Sorry to any Journey fans out there).

~DT

Everyone should love a Geek...

If you've never met my Sir Die_Tryin, you'd never know that he is a Geek. With a capital G, and I have to tell you that there is nothing sexier than a Geek. I was once told that a nerd thinks they know it all, and a Geek knows it. Well, let me assure you all that this is true, DT knows it all, but he's just too modest to admit it. Oh sure he'll admit to having a vast quantity of useless knowledge, but that is selling himself short.

Thinking about all the Geeks I know I find most of them a little awkward, quiet, and shy. Very modest and unassuming. But do any of them realize they run the world as we know it? Of course, they do, deep down. But you won't find them bragging it up.

Why am I drawn to my Geek? Is it his love of Kink? No, that's a bonus. However, I will not deny that his mind and the way he uses it to learn and absorb all things D/s is extremely sexy. Smart is the new sexy after all. I fully expect to find that we have incredible sex the first time we are together, let's think about this. A Geek will study anything and everything from anatomy to physics, to the pure science of sex itself with an undying passion. Not to mention how thoughtful, and sensitive the average Geek is. hmmm, a thoughtful and caring lover can't be a bad thing, can it.

Yes, I will admit like all Geeks he is prone to rambling on about his past, present, and future projects. And I love it!!! The gusto and problem solving he shows is simply intoxicating, and I'll gladly sit and listen because he's intelligent and funny, he can have a conversation that isn't filled with slang and "ghetto" talk. Don't forget that he's the first one there to help me understand things that would escape the average man.

In the end, I see this man, full of honesty, loyal to himself, and his love's. He's sweet, and respectful, a true gentleman. How can you NOT love someone like that? This man that looks at me and loves ME, for ME, not for what I look like, not for the size I wear, or how fit my body is. But for me, my heart, my mind, and my soul.

So, if you don't already love a geek...and can stand to have sex with a laptop in the bed...FIND ONE!

City lights....

It came from a harmless comment from TheBsideofme on twitter and ended up creeping into my mind over the next few hours.

The room is small, there's a desk that also serves as a TV stand, a recliner, a small table and two chairs, and of course the typical hotel room bed with its cheesy bedspread. But none of that matters, the only thing in this room right now that I care about is you.

Sitting in the chair closest to our 6th story window with its open drapes, I can't take my eyes off yours, there is a hunger in them that can only be satisfied by one thing, and I know exactly what that is. I cross the room slowly, enjoying the way your eyes wander over my body, pausing at this curve and that. That look, the utter appreciation for what you see reminds me exactly why I love being a woman. Even more so, why I love being your woman.

I give a little smirk, roll my shoulders back, and sway my hips as I slowly cross the room to stand in front of you in my black heels and a pink nightie. A slow sweeping gaze over your body and I can see the rise in your briefs, knowing what waits for me there. I lick my lips teasingly as I lean in to kiss your waiting lips. The soft moan from you is all I need to know you're ready for me. You shift your left leg between mine spreading them slightly.

Your left-hand slides up my body, finding my already hard nipples and takes turns teasing, pinching, twisting, pulling them through the cool satin. And your right...mmm yes your right slips up the back of my legs coming to rest for a moment on my ass, up over my hip, down my stomach and coming to rest cupping my pussy. Your touch is like sparks against my flesh. I rock my hips against your hand urging you to part my lips with your fingers.

I glance behind you noting the open shades and can't be bothered to try and close them, you lean forward and take my nipple in your mouth the fabric of my nightie still between us. The slick satin, the heat of your breath, the feel of your teeth. Making my knees weak, you sense the urgency in my breathing and gently spread my pussy lips, slipping two fingers between them and gliding along the length of my wet lips, coming back to squeeze my clit between your fingers. I can feel my knees trembling and lean forward to put my hands on your shoulders, bracing myself against you. Lost in the sensations your touch brings in me.

In a quick shift of your arms, you've turned me away from you, pulling you down in your lap, keeping one hand on my breasts playing with my nipples bringing me to the edge of wanting while your other hand slips back between my legs where you find my throbbing clit once more. Flicking it gently with your thumb before sliding two fingers up into my wet pussy. Curving into me to press against my G-spot while the palm of your hand is left to rub hard against my clit. Squeezing firmly, then pumping in and out of me harder, and faster while I rock my hips breathing harder, leaning back against your solid chest holding me in your arms as I feel my orgasm brimming, and know it's going to happen, that spot that feeling, I'm about to let go when you whisper in my ear.

"Cum for me, BabyDoll," and that's all it takes to have me gushing in your hand, screaming your name and leaving a wet patch of my cum on your briefs. Your fingers never stop moving as I cum again quickly and just as intensely. You bring your fingers to my lips letting me taste myself on you, I'm not sure who it turns on more.

"Stand up," You order me off your lap with a little shove, you stand yourself turning the chair so the back faces the window. Then placing me up in the chair so I can look out the open window at the night lights of the city around us. My ass up in the air, begging you to fuck me.





You lean over me whispering in my ear. "You know if anyone were to look up here they could see you." I couldn't help but moan, and push my ass back against you. My eagerness should have brought you to the edge of wanting me, wanting your cock inside me. But no of course not yet, you lean back and give a firm slap to my left ass cheek. I gasp at the shock and pleasure of the sting. Before I have a chance to recover your hand falls sharply against the right cheek, this time the sting is enough to soak my pussy once again. You pull my nightie up over my waist grabbing my hips and pulling me back against your rock hard cock, your grey boxer briefs damp from the pre-cum leaking from the head of your cock.

"What do you want babydoll?" you growl from behind me.

"Please, Sir, I want you to fuck me." I plead begging for your cock, wanting you buried deep in my pussy.

"Not yet lover," and with that, you kneel on the floor, your face even with my dripping pussy. You grab my hips and steady me in the chair before planting your face against my pussy. Your tongue probing my aching lips, your thumb rubbing against my clit, every little bit your lips come down to suck on my clit, nibbling it with your teeth then back to my waiting pussy lips. In seconds I'm a blubbering idiot completely lost in the feel of your magical tongue probing into me.

Your incredible oral work has me gasping for breath nearly collapsing in the chair from the pure pleasure of it. My orgasm comes on quickly my legs shaking, pussy clenching hard, and a scream of pure release coming from my lips.

You stand up slapping my pussy as you do making my knees weak, you lean forward and grab a handful of my hair pulling me up and pushing me toward the floor to ceiling window in front of me. Pressing my breasts against the cool glass, "Look around little one, the entire city can see your beautiful body if they just looked"
With that said you press me hard against the glass once more this time positioning my body in a way to give you full access to my pussy with your rock hard cock. Pulling the waistband of your boxer briefs down to free your cock, your hand comes between my legs to spread my lips one last time before slipping the head of your cock between my lips, slowly at first just the head. Then further, and further until the entire length is filling me, I can feel the throbbing inside me, and when you begin to stroke in and out of me I cum hard. Your left hand tangled in my hair, your right reaching forward to torture my nipples, pinching them hard between your finger and thumb.

As the town light twinkle and glow below and around us, the city alive and unaware of the passion in its midst, we come together, screaming your name as you moan mine deeply against my shoulder. You pull back away from me, reaching out you take me in your arms carrying me to the bed where we collapse in each other's arms....exhausted

From DT to HBD A story of love and submission.

A day late I know, but I did feel that Father Day had to be addressed. So, for your viewing pleasure, Sir Sunday...on Monday. LOL






I have walked in on you at your desk at our office working late for the 3rd night this week. "Babydoll what are you doing? The workday ended 2 hours ago,"

“I'm not caught up” you protest “just a few more things left to do”.

“Come over here now” I say, standing in the doorway to the R& D lab. You give me a look of “but” and again I say “come to me”, you comply. At this point I notice the attractive skirt suit you wore to work today and that your hair is a bit disheveled from your frustration with your project.

“Yes Sir” you say with a hint of question in your voice as you arrive in front of me.

“lets get those projects off of your mind for a bit”,

“yes Sir” you reply.

“Good” now get into the shower, you start to turn to protest as you walk by, I plant a firm spank on your ass as you pass, “don't question me” I say with a sly grin on my face. “undress in here, I want to watch you” I instruct, you comply, giving me a slow and sensual teasing undressing.


I nod in approval, as you start the shower, I move to the room you are in as you step into the shower. I watch you as you step into the warm water, and start to soap up, by this time I have undressed as well and am now entering the shower.

“I was hoping you would join me Sir”. I gather you up in my arms and kiss you deeply the warm water cascading off of our bodies from all sides. Our hands rubbing, caressing and exploring each others body.

You look at me longingly and I ask you “what is it Babydoll?” you reply “ I love you Sir” I smile and say “ I love you too Babydoll”.

I roll you against the cool tile of the shower wall as I continue to touch you all over, I raise your hands above your head and it is then you notice the ring on the wall and the nylon restraints, as I put them on your wrists, leaving you back against the wall and facing me.

“Babydoll how many times have I told you work is for office hours?” I see your lower lip quiver in anticipation of my reaction to your reply.

“A couple” you reply,

“turn around”, as you do the water is now running down your back from your shoulders, I give you another swat on your ass firm, but more sound than pain, I then run my hand between your legs and feel the warm juices from your pussy, you groan and try to encourage me to keep playing there. I swat your ass again a little harder this time, I catch you looking back at me, at my throbbing erection and I see the longing in your eyes.

“How do I get you to learn this lesson?” I muse to myself, another smack on your ass a little harder this time. I check your pussy again, it is even wetter than before.

I stand behind you and let you feel my cock as I lay it in the crack of your ass, you are pushing back against me , urging me to take you, I reach around and grab your nipples, you gasp as I hold them hard. I let them go and then focus in rubbing your clit and working your pussy with my fingers. I feel you cum once, twice and a third time. I stop and turn you around to face me, I see the flush in your cheeks from the orgasms I kiss you hard and deep, the warm water still cascading around us I hike you up on my waist your hands still tied and I slide my cock into you. I start to pump you, firmly and with a steady pace as I continue to work you against the wall. And occasionally stop to nibble , or bite a nipple, you are in sheer ecstasy I feel you cumming I have lost count at 4 as I am starting to to build myself and I am going a bit harder and faster now. I stop and put your feet back on the ground and then turn you back around to take you from behind, I re-enter you and proceed to fuck you harder and faster, as I grab your hair and pull you moan and continue to cum, another slap across your ass , hard and I am ready to cum, I thrust in hard one last time with a loud grunt and release my load. I stand there and hold you, spent and happy. I kiss you, untie you and we finish getting cleaned up, then head to the lab for “Round 2”.

DT

Feeling Helpless....

Things seem to be just spinning in crazy circles, and I can't keep my head above water right now. I'm drowning in a sea of emotions, happy, joy, excitement, dread, panic, apprehension, fear, anger, pain, and most of all right now helplessness.

DTs SO is a member of a social site that I belong to as well, it seems that she is using this site to create an alternate reality for herself. In addition to bouncing around like a rubber ball of love and dislike, she cycles from being angry and almost hateful about DT, to how he's the most wonderful man in the world. All her posts and thoughts seem to revolve around getting attention from others. Validation of her feelings. No matter what the current emotion is. It's frustrating for me to see, knowing there are so many lies. Its harder knowing that now DT sees these things and is hurt by the realization that his marriage is revolving around her lies. (Yes, I know he will read this, and no I'm not worried we share EVERYTHING)

Now for the heart of the matter, let's face it DT is still married, as am I. Which means, that we will have to share a bed with the SO's in our lives until we can extract ourselves. How do we do this without hurting each other? Well, try not to give too many details to start with. Think about each other while we're with the SO's, and then, of course, lean on each other after the fact because the mere act of being with the SO's hurts. Not just hurting each other, but it hurts on a personal level as well. I know, I was in that position this past weekend. And it HURT to be with my SO when I wanted so badly to be with DT. I thankfully can avoid this as my SO is away from home 2 or more weeks at a time. DT is not so lucky, he is with a woman that doesn't realize there is a problem and is grasping at everything she has to try and fix it. Which means "connecting" in a sexual manner.

I knew it happened tonight, I knew it before I talked to him. He wasn't here at the usual time. And no word that he would be away, that was the only possibility. When he did get back online I knew, from the way he typed that he was either not alone, or was concerned that I wasn't alone. Finally, it slipped out, without him saying the words he told me. And while I hurt for me, I ached for him, I felt his pain, regret...shame. There is nothing I can do to help him. I can assure him that I love him, I can be there for him to talk to. But nothing will take it away until we are together....eventually.

The thing is that she has started to draw on his/our kink, in a very vanilla way. A little hair pulling, a spank on the ass. But wait, what about the first time she ASKED him to spank her. And when he followed through because he thought it might fix them, she waited a couple days and threw it back in his face that he HIT her. Now again, she's asking for him to spank her, pull her hair etc. Where is this coming from? besides desperation?

We talked briefly, and that was very limited, and interrupted by her coming down for a baby bottle. He covered well, talking to his brother he said, he's tired he said. He tells his brother He loves him, and to call back when he's not so tired they'll talk later. I'm 2nd again...but I'm not I know I'm first in his heart and the one he loves.

Now for confession time....I'm scared. I'm afraid that she's going to win. What right do I have to come between them? What if she does have it in her to be a sub? What if what if what if? So, its been over an hour now, she's been feeding the baby. I know this takes time. But well, I know in my heart he won't be back tonight, and tomorrow I won't get my wake up call, so I'm off to cry myself to sleep.









Who said nothing could kill the high I've been flying since buying those tickets last night?

Marriage, sex, and this submissive's heart...

As you may...or may not know, Die_tryin and I, are married - but not to each other. He has been married to a very vanilla for a little over 2 years (a light swat on the butt and she's whining about why do you want to huuuuurt me), and I am married to a narcissistic abuser what I'm sure would say he wants to be a dominant if I would let him in on my desires. (The danger beacons are flashing)

This past week Die_Tryin was out of town for a couple days because of a training session for work. We had amazing nights on the phone lasting into the wee hours. Falling asleep to each others voices, sharing our hopes, dreams, and expectations. Then, he had to return home. Thursday night to be exact, so it was a short night for us a little chatting online but nothing like the nights we had just had. The nights that we couldn't get enough of. It was a painful thing for us both, his SO was angry and demanding as he drove home, but when he returned to the house she pretended that nothing had happened. How she thought that was going to improve things between them, neither of us can say.

Friday, he returned to work and found himself the recipient of several calls from her alluding to the fact she had a "reconnect" night planned for them. To say that this was a futile effort on her part is an understatement. But alas she tried. And he, well he had to play along - and will continue until he can remove himself from this complication in a manner that relieves some of his sense of responsibility.

Where did this leave me? Well, it left me alone last night, knowing that he was with her and that yes he is married to her, and yes he would have sex with her. And that is very painful for this submissive's heart.

explain this....

Love....and lust....over a long distance.

How is it that I can be so completely in love with someone that is so far away? add to that the fact that I've never met him. I mean face to face meeting. I've seen pictures, talked to him for hours online, and not to mention HOURS on the phone. But he's never touched me, never kissed me, never looked in my eyes. How can I be this devoted to him?

Not only that, but how can he return those feelings? His love for me, is so deep that I can hear it in his voice and see it in his actions towards me. But, then again HOW?!

I don't know the answer, and honestly I'm not sure that it matters. I know that I love him, I know that he loves me, and I know that no matter what we will be together. I can only hope that everyone else that finds themselves in this position, of loving so completely lets that love grow and doesn't shun it just because of a few miles of separation.


One last thought, again over these long distances. How is it that I can feel his touch? taste his kiss? how can I know that making love to him, submitting to him, will be amazing? I don't know!! But I know that the mere thought of him is enough to make my pussy wet, the thought of his touch will drive me to orgasm. I want him.....No I need him. And all this with oh so many miles between us.