Playing with Fire

This isn't what I thought you'd be seeing here today.  I had this great idea for a topic, and then something happened last night that made for a night of poor sleep and nightmares.  So, here we go with a little twist of the knife.

What you have to understand reading this is that Die_Tryin and I have made the personal agreement that there will be 100% honesty and transparency in our relationship.  While there are so many miles between us trust must be our highest priority.  And thus far, we have succeeded in our mission...together.  But sometimes things happen or come to my mind that I just can't SAY, so to bring it here and post in this forum allows me the distance I need to bare my soul.

Last night My Dear Sir and I were playing, a little harmless cyber session to calm the waking beast in us both.   It was as always amazing, he has a fantastic imagination, and when I add mine to the mix, well its almost as good as the real thing.  However, this time it ended with the realization that he had just gotten off while in bed next to his sleeping wife.   That would be the trigger for this post.

I dreamt last night, twice...two different endings but the main story was the same.  It woke me up crying both times.  Exhausted and spent I made quick notes to get the thoughts out of my mind and on to a fantastic wake up call with  my Sir.

The dreams went the same, we were again playing but unlike last night he hadn't gone to bed yet, and while we were in the heat of the moment, his wife walked in.  In the first dream she was angry, so angry that she left him. In the second, she was hurt, and gave him the choice her or me.    Both of these dreams hurt me so deeply.  I wonder....is this thing we have actually worth it?