Things in my life are so muddled and chaotic right now. I feel like my world has slipped off its axis, and is now hurtling itself off into the galaxy....what scares me the most about this. Is that I have NO control whatsoever on where I go or where I land. It strikes me as odd, how I have to have this control over everything. But when it comes down to it, I would gladly relinquish it all over to DT.
I've had to take time to just stop and think about all of this, and I'm in full-on denial about many things. So, I let the things I can think about come in, let them distract me. It has been refreshing at times and disturbing at others. One thing though is that I come out feeling like I know me just a little bit better. And I realize that I'm changing....still.
Those changes scare me. I'm always afraid that I will change so much that I am not the woman DT fell in love with. That we will not grow together. Some of the changes I've already seen he has been fine with. He embraced them, hell he saw it in me before I did and says it's not a change at all, it's just the real me coming out. And this again is a change that I feel is the real me coming out. But one I don't think he's seen, and one I'm afraid he will not embrace so readily.
When you love someone you love all of them not just the parts that work for you. I'm positive that DT and you will work through things together and in the end come out stronger for it.
ReplyDelete*Great big hugs*