Oh, what a night! I had this great plan, to put together a post based on a fantasy, a dream...wishful thinking for my trip to be with Die_Tryin. And then somethings happened a conversation overheard between him and his wife that brought up some emotions and feelings I had to get out. And then the strangest thing happened, and here I am to tell you all about it.
It started out with one of my normal conversations with my husband and ended with me telling him that I need a divorce. I want a divorce. I asked for it to be friendly, easy, for us to do this thing without being ugly and nasty like we do so often.
Strangely enough, he didn't fight and argue, he didn't turn on me hateful and trying to cut me deep. It was sad, it was painful...and it broke my heart but it was amazingly calming. We have agreed that when he comes home this weekend we'll sit down and decide what we each want and try and put this together in an amicable way. We'll see how that goes.
I won't deny that I'm terrified. I have never been truly alone ever. I lived at home until I married at 18, lived with my EX until I was with my current husband, and now I'm in my 30s and I'm looking at the prospect of being completely alone. The kids and me...how am I going to do this? What am I going to do with myself? I'm terrified, I'm alone, and I'm completely unsure about what to do next.
Baby_Doll, you are strong beyond your own knowledge, I love you, I need you and I will have you , and We Will be together forever.
ReplyDelete~DT
WOW!
ReplyDeleteI think you should be proud of you!!
Have to go to school otherwise I would say more.
But I think it's great!!
And don't forget:
You are never alone as long as there is somebody who loves you!
And you HAVE someone!
:)
DT - I love you Sir, Thank you for being here for me.
ReplyDeleteEpiphany...Thank you hun. For reminding me I'm not alone...and for being proud of me. That is something I've very rarely had before.
I wish you the absolute best in this very tough decision. It's never fun, but I hope it all goes down as amicably as possible.
ReplyDeleteHoly crap! I think they way he took it was unexpected. Having said that, you are a survivor. There is no doubt in my mind that you will remain strong throughout all of this.
ReplyDelete((sending big hugs your way))
If you don't love your husband anymore, you did the right thing. We have one life, that doesn't give us the right to intentionally hurt others, but it does give us an obligation to do the best we can and be happy with our decisions. Please make this decision based on what you want and not what you anticipate happening with Sir.
ReplyDeleteAnd remember -- what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Happy Independence Day to you -- I think you just claimed yours. ;)
13 messages - thank you! I still have my fingers crossed that I will end civilly if nothing else.
ReplyDeleteRage - it was very unexpected, and has cycled from anger to hurt to fear to anger to denial.
Erotic Cougar Chronicles - This is something that had to happen, with our without my Sir DT. He showed me that I have the strength to do this, and to do it for me and for my children. I hate that anyone had to be hurt by it but I know I'm doing whats best for me.