Make it stop....

I know it seems like all I've been doing lately is whining, and complaining. Mostly about DT. I won't deny I'm here to do it one more time.

I just can't help myself right now. I'm so torn inside, and I feel like I'm dying, I have no motivation to do anything but work and sleep. There is just so much running around my head, the chaos is deafening.

When DT moved out here there were several conditions, several that he set for himself. Among them was starting this business. I have to say that I have so much faith in this man, I know that he can do anything that he sets his mind to. He is a hard worker, he would work himself to death if he had to. When he's working for someone else. But in this job, working for us, for me as we agreed. Well, it's not working so well. Several times I have said I'm ready to throw in the towel to call it quits, on the business that is. And when I do he's shocked and hurt, and inside I feel that I have let him down. That by giving in so easily I have lost faith in him and his ability.

The truth is, I have. That reality hurts me, as much as I know it hurts him.


We will work this out, we will talk about it and we will come out ahead. That's the beauty of us. We are dedicated to making our relationship work. And if that means that we dissolve the business - so be it. If that means that we step away from the BDSM, and M/s aspects of our relationship - then we will. The priority of our relationship never changes. We will be together, happily.


That doesn't mean that I'm throwing in the towel. Far from it, I have a resolve to be a better sub, a stronger slave, and to see that my Sir is a stronger leader. That just means a lot of soul searching, a lot of research, and a lot of patience. Lord and Lady give me patience.