Hello again, it is time for another edition of Sir Sunday, this week as we are all spending time with family and friends, celebrating our country's independence I just want to say be safe, and have fun.
As a tie in topic, (pun intended) let's discuss safety in the bedroom, playroom or anywhere else you take pleasure with your sub or Dom. First and foremost, listen to your partner. Even their most subtle body language, look for the tells of hesitation, avoidance outside of the normal "scenes" you might be in and above all listen for the safe word. Sometimes it can be as simple as listening for an outcry that is unexpected at the moment. For example, spanking and flogging can elicit a pain response that results in an outcry, be aware of your subs well being and don't hesitate to back off a second and ask for a status check. Always, keep the safety and well being of your playthings in mind. Remember trust is the key to any BDSM relationship and your partner trusts that you have their general well-being at heart. I know to the uneducated and outsider looking in, this sounds like the opposite of what BDSM is, "well I'm supposed to hurt them, they like it, they know /deserve what I am giving them" these are all true to a point and as a good submissive wants to serve their master, they also don't want to be permanently broken. The marks, bruises and other agreed-upon consensual by-products of a solid "play" session are incredible marks of ownership.
What do you do if your partner throws a "hard stop" or safeword? Well, this should be obvious, stop what you are doing, assess the situation, check that your sub is not in any danger of harm, and rectify the situation to remove the problem, be it a rope, a toy or even you the Dom yourself! Never forget that even though you as the Dom are the one leading the scene, the sub is truly the one in control and MUST be able to stop at any time if they feel they are in emanate danger and the Dom MUST respect this for the trust to be maintained and this includes discussion as to why it went that way without fear of repercussion for a legitimate concern for personal safety.
There are many "dangerous" elements to the BDSM scene, everything from beatings, spankings, being tied/chained up, even rape fantasy to needle, blood and knife play and everything in between. Remember, even if you have done it 100 times before, something might happen to cause it to be "off ". And once it doesn't feel right and the flag is waved it has to stop to determine where it went wrong. As a Dom if you think this is a foreign concept then, in my opinion, you might be in this lifestyle for the wrong reasons, I know use, abuse and degradation are the words of Domination, but that Sub has chosen you to serve and to allow you to do those things and as such if you want to keep them in your life, I say respect their personal safety.
The very foundation of this life we live and practice or play is SAFE, SANE, CONSENSUAL. And that my friends, means always taking care of your toys.
Thank you for listening to my rant, and I will leave you with a stay kinky my friends.
~DT
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