DTnHBD

Sir Sunday, pre-graduation and Memorial Day edition, (aka Sir Monday)

            Have I ever mentioned to you that HBD and I have 8 children between us in 3 states? as they get older the normal rites of passage start to come around as they get older we are about to have my 2nd oldest graduate from High School, this necessitates a trip of almost 1300 miles each way. Being the adventurous couple we are we decide that driving is the way to go and it will allow for a couple of short visits with friends in other states.
            Herein lies the rub, the graduating child is already enlisted in the military and scheduled to go in August, my 1st ex contacted me asking to continue paying child support, with the comment , "you have already paid 11 years what's another 2 months". I told her no in not so many words, not 4 hours later my child is calling me stating they are "stressed out, because their mom has told them that because your dad isn't extending the child support until you leave, they need to cover the shortfall".
to me this is the worst kind of manipulation a parent can use to drive a wedge between a child and the other parent; this one is especially heinous because the older child (who just married and moved away) was not charged rent in the 14 months before they left. This is one of the major reasons she is an EX, she can't take responsibility for her own lack of planning I wanted to counter her comment with "and you have seen the end of this money coming for 11 years", bit in the not wanting to make a bad situation worse for the child I bit my tongue. My Graduating child has mentioned HBD and myself not attending because it will be awkward, translated the ex-wife is complaining and making their life hard because she doesn't want to see me with HBD (the ex has been on less than 10 dates in 11 years) and most of all she doesn't want to see me happy.
          Now the point of my lengthy preamble, no matter how bad the breakup, no matter how unhappy you are in your life, whether or not you take any responsibility in the failure of your marriage, you cannot take it out on the kids for your shortcomings, for your insecurities and unhappiness. This is the greatest crime you can perpetrate on your children. (rant mode off)

            As we are readying ourselves for this trip I am reminded why HBD is mine and my choice to spend my life with. Every day we are working on the routine, protocol, discussing what is working, or not and how to improve. I know this sounds against the M/s dynamic, but as we have struggled before I am taking a page from my leadership and managerial background, and listening. I feel this is working as HBD is communicating with me in an open manner, with respect, and genuine concern for our continuing growth and success. You can say I have given her a task and she is performing well, we had an instance the other night wherein the course of her duties she performed her task well and it ended up giving her an upset stomach for the next two days, I had neglected to properly address it and pushed, this was not in the best interest of her well being, our number one tenant. Needless to say, I almost ruined another good start, HBD to her credit addressed it with me in a calm and respectful way at the next possibility. I have to say I am looking forward to almost 50 hours in the car with HBD, it will allow for some good intimate conversations without major interruptions if I can keep her awake. Until next Sunday, stay safe and stay Kinky.

Die Tryin